Hi everyone!
I’ve been a lurker here for a long time but am active on fatlogic and other boards. I find people’s stories and “whys” such a huge inspiration.
I thought it was time to throw myself out there, as this weekend was my 6th anniversary of when I decided to make my change. I also wanted to use this as a chance to remind myself (and others) that weight loss is not a linear path. You WILL have ups and downs. The challenge to us all is to rise above the setbacks and persevere.
I have been overweight or obese my entire life. Long story that comes down to not being taught proper eating and bad habits established early in life. I went off to college and BOOM! Blew up with access to buffet cafeteria food, sedentary hobbies, and social ineptness (no adult friends for a long time). I finished school, married a great guy, and life continued on.
About a year after I was married I attended the wedding of my best college friend. It was a great night. Then I saw pictures of myself the next day. I was floored. Did I really look that bad? I decided to go step on the ancient scale in our bathroom that gathered dust when we were too lazy to move it when cleaning.
318 pounds.
BMI 49.8
To say I was floored was an understatement. I knew I had PCOS, but I was managing it through meds and we weren’t trying to have a kid, so I never gave it much other thought at the time. I knew we wanted to start trying soon, but it was always this thing we were going to do at some point, the way you get to 30 years old yet not really realize that yes, you’re an adult and need to be fully functioning.
I decided then and there that things needed to change. MFP at the time was intimidating to me, but I knew people that had success on weight watchers, so I signed up that day for their online only program. The next day was my birthday, and we celebrated by going to The Cheesecake Factory 🙄
Alright, if you’re serious scoutiesteph, you have to figure this out even with bad choices in front of you.
I blew all my treat points in one meal. Awesome first week.
People who have never been that obese don’t understand sometimes that it’s not easy changing your habits. They’re used to self-regulating, dieting for a week or two, or using some crash program and then fitting into their jeans again. I was and will forever be battling a food addiction. I have no sense of “full;” I have hungry and stuffed. I don’t have a My 600 Pound Life story- I wasn’t traumatized or molested. I have a NPD mother, but a supportive family who helped me through my childhood. I’d like to think I’m a well adjusted adult.
I just love food.
Yesterday I celebrated six years and my 31st birthday. In this period I have dropped 142 pounds, had two wonderful kids, and became a group fitness instructor (Body Combat for life!!)
I still struggle. I will always love food.
I have 25 pounds to go to my goal weight that my doctor asked me to hit all those years ago. I really want to do it this year. But I have gained so much. Strength. Confidence. Physical ability I didn’t know I had. I would love to pick up another teaching certificate. Maybe one day I’ll even be in a place where I could look at switching careers- I found a love of fitness and want to give that to others.
My point is this. If you’re debating making the change, don’t wait. Start now. You don’t know where you’ll be a year from now, or six. Don’t expect perfection. Expect every day will be hard.
Put in the work, because your future deserves it.
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