This’ll be long, sorry!
(I’m a 5”9 female, was 175, now 161) About nine months ago I looked in the mirror and realized, oh boy, those are rolls! I absolutely did not like what I saw, and I pained over how ugly I thought I looked for another FIVE months before I actually had the will to change how I ate and lived, because I finally realized the only way to stop looking how I did was with actual effort. It also didn’t help that about 8 months ago, I met my would-be boyfriend around the time I tried to start working out. It just faded when I met him since we hung out so much, and we both liked food. A lot. We went out to eat multiple times a week and ate fast food and snacks often.
Anyways, starting four months ago, I started simple, and downloaded an app to keep track of what I ate (my sister suggested the app, and it was a total game changer for me). It wasn’t long until I realized just how terrible my diet had been for so long. That 16 ounce Wawa cream smoothie I’d have a few times a week? A whopping 760 calories, on top of typically getting a massive sandwich with it, maybe even some candy. I never tracked anything I ate, hell, I never even looked at nutrition labels. If I wanted it, I’d eat as much as I’d like, and that was that. I know exactly when I really started to gain weight, too.
When my family moved across the country, crap happened and we were a family of 7 living in a tiny one bedroom hotel for a year. We were a two minute walk away from a McDonalds. So what did sweet, depressed 17 year old me do? Go there as often as possible, wolf down a milkshake, fries, nuggets, the whole deal. It made me happy. When I was 16, I was 145, by 19 I was 175. Thirty pounds overweight. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but my weight really snowballed when I moved, and I think I actually gained those last 20 pounds after coming here.
I never even gave what I ate a second thought. I had lots of candy, juice, sweets, fast food, and a whole lot of snacks. But by taking it one step at a time, in the last four months, I’ve lost 14 pounds. It’s accelerated as of late as I’ve been taking it more seriously, which feels great! When I started I didn’t increase my activity at all, but I did start watching what I ate more carefully. I’ve been sure to keep goals small and attainable, as I don’t want to cause my own downfall by having such high expectations that I couldn’t possibly reach and killing my motivation. At the start my goal was merely to lose thirty pounds in a year, and in just four months I’m almost halfway there.
My goals are more than just physical now, and I genuinely want to be healthier, not just thinner. I exercise up to two hours a day now (I worked my way up to it, I started with only 20-30 minutes of walking on a treadmill and maybe a 10 minute cardio session every once and a while).
Personally, I don’t believe I can ever truly return to my old ways at this point. I couldn’t just sit down and eat a Big Mac with a milkshake and not think about what I’m doing to my body. Of course, I still eat some garbage. The main thing is that I portion it, I keep track, and I don’t feel any qualms anymore about taking my mini scale to a restaurant to know what I’m putting into my body. In fact, I feel much more of a need to weigh and track funnel cake over an apple. An apple at most will be 100 calories of nutrients, natural sugar, and yumminess all wrapped in a filling six ounce snack. Funnel cake is a not-so-great 125-200 calories PER OUNCE.
I’m learning how to hold myself accountable, have self-control, and be happy with how I am now and look forward to what I can become. I’ve also been learning a lot about myself, and how I ended up the way I did in the first place. It isn’t just my relationship with food I’m fixing anymore, it’s how I am in general. I’m also seeing how changing myself in a positive way is effecting those around me. My sister says I inspire her a lot, and she looks to me for motivation now with becoming the best version of herself, and even my boyfriend is picking up healthier habits with me. He’s lost 15 pounds so far, and he isn’t even trying at all, just paying attention to the way he eats! 14 pounds down, 16 (and possibly more!) to go!
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