This is my first successful weight loss ever. I've never lost this much over such a long period of time (7 months).
Before, I would "diet" for 3-4 months, lose 10lbs and then crash gain them back slowly. I gave up on losing weight and just tried to accept myself at 175lbs, my stable weight back then. I did, I loved my body the way it was but then I just gave into food. I slowly went up to 180, then 185 and then 190. 190 freaked me out, to be honest but I had such bad memories from previous diets that I just didn't know what to do. 195lbs was my highest weight ever. When I saw that on the scale, I didn't want to believe it so I made excuses. It will go away, it's just extra pounds from clothes, food, water. But it stayed, and I didn't like it. I started noticing my weight gain. Clothes were tighter, exercising was harder, I looked bigger.
At some point, I googled my BMI and found out I was officially obese. My BMI was 33. That was my wake up call. I started doing my research, slowly over the course of a month or two and just decided I couldn't keep going like this. I can't gain anymore weight, or my health will be in danger. I decided I wasn't going to let that happen and fixed my goal at a 24.5 BMI.
I knew about CICO, but I just hated tracking stuff so much that I really didn't want to use it. I first started with cutting out carbs and introducing more "healthy food". I started with a "at least one vegetable at every meal" rule. Then one carbs free meal a day. It didn't really work, I only lost a few pounds but I was still motivated. I finally tried CICO. I followed this sub and other subs advice and started with one week at maintenance, just to get into the habit of tracking. And omg, it opened my eyes. My "healthy" breakfast consisting of whole wheat bread, eggs, spinach, fresh orange juice and coffee ? 600 calories. 200 for the orange juice alone. I don't even like orange juice that much, it was just a healthy food to me. My quick healthy snack : peanut butter and an apple ? 300 calories, 100 for the apple, 200 for the peanut butter. I figured out that most of my days were around 2000-2400 calories, which is not that much but my TDEE was 1800. 200-600 calories over my TDEE a day were enough to make me gain that much weight.
I hated calories tracking but it worked. I tracked my food, stayed under 1600, with most days at 1300 and I lost weight every week, consistently, slowly. I ate whatever I wanted, but just stayed under 1600. I've had slip ups, days at 2500, even days around 3000, weeks where i didn't track at all but I went right back on track. Until July. I went on a 2 weeks vacation, stopped tracking but kept exercising and when i came back from it, i went straight into old habits ("oh i ran 20min ? I can eat a whole pizza now! it balances out!") and gained weight. To be honest, it bummed me out a little. But I had already lost 15lbs by then and I had a choice : either give up again and gain it back or get back on track and forget about it ?
August was different. Tracking for so long game me enough information to stay under my TDEE without having to weight every bite. I slowly stopped counting calories and focused on high volume low calorie food. More greens, more fruits, more vegetables, less oils, less sugar, less carbs. Fat is the only thing I measure out now because it's really easy to go from what's supposed to be 100 calories of olive oil to 300 calories of olive oil. I gave up on the low carb aspect because it made me miserable and my only goal now was to be healthy and not miserable. I love bread and carbs and I won't stop eating that for no good reason.
I learned that treats are not for every day. That special meals had to be a minority, there are 21 meals in a week and if I wanted to be healthy, in a 80%-20% way, 17 of them had to be healthy and only 4 could be a treat. But it didn't have to be that way every week. I could also do 20 meals on track on one week and only 15 the next one, as long as it balances out. I learned to see food in a new way. I still love food, a lot but not unconditionally anymore. I learned to see the harm in too much food, I learned to accept that food that I love could make me feel like shit.
I'm still 20lbs away from my goal. But I feel confident in this journey and I'm not in a hurry. Im in this for life and Im not giving up.
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