Questioning GW and fear of maintenance

F/33/SW 209lbs/CW 132lbs/GW ?

Thanks so much to this sub, you're amazing!

I started loosing in november 2018, honestly I never thought I would make it this far or stick with my plan (CICO, IF 16:8, vegan, 3-4x cardio per week, some strength training thrown in) this time. But I did, yay! I feel absolutely amazing... but I have questions:

1) When I started I put my goal weight at 140lbs, because that put me in the healthy bmi range. I've always been obese/overweight so I had no idea what to expect. As I got near that weight I thougt it would be nice to have some wriggle room, I expect to have less time/energy for my weight/fitness goals starting next year due to increased workload. So I put my GW at 130. Now I'm questioning if I'm happy with that, I'd like to look thinner (legs and belly mainly). I calculated my ideal weight at 123, again, I have no idea what that would feel like... I know I could tone up, focus on muscle growth instead of cardio, but I love my runs, that's my main stress relief, and I just don't like strength training as much. I tried to do both but I couldn't fit 5x per week into my schedule.

So my question is, what do you think my goal weight should be, or how do I find out what weight feels best for me?

2) I think contributing to my insecurities about the first question is that while I successfully lost (some) weight in the past (for a while), I was never able to maintain my weight loss. I gained it back (and more) pretty quickly as soon as I stopped dieting. I fear I just don't know how to keep the weight off (without aiming to loose more). I evaluated my past attempts and I know my diet back then wasn't sustainable, I lost the weight too quickly and didn't stick with it. With what I'm doing now I think I can do this for the rest of my life, I found a plan that works for me and my life... BUT... I'm still sooo afraid of gaining everything back, I don't ever want to do this again cause it was sooo hard, and I never want to be obese again.

Thanks for reading, any advice/tips or your own experiences would be greatly appreciated

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CICO @ 1200; weight loss stalled for 2 months.

29 F, 5'6"

SW: 96 kg, CW: 89 kg, GW: 70 kg

Hi guys!

I need a bit of reassurance from everyone because I'm starting to feel a bit discouraged. I started doing CICO at 1200 about 3.5 months ago, as well as cycling, approximately 40 miles a week in 5-6 short sessions.

There was no noticable weight loss for the first month or so (which is the time I usually give up) but I kept at it and suddenly found that I had lost almost 5 kg in the span of 2 weeks. It was weird, but I figured hey-- Ive been expecting it, maybe this is just how my body works.

Well the thing is, that was 2 months ago. I've been trying to be patient for another drop or maybe things to become a bit steadier, but... still reads the same. Looks the same. Same measurements, especially around my waist which makes me less inclined to believe its just building muscle.

Has this happened to anyone else? Did I fuck up my metabolism by going too low? Is that even real??

I keep telling myself to just keep going but a part of me is really starting to question if I'm doing something wrong here. I know this is a question you guys get like a thousand times a day but basically I'm openly asking for reassurance lmao please validate me.

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Starting see my collarbones more clearly and other physical changes!

I've been trying to exercise more and eat better since May (with some bouts of indulgence and laziness), and I've been tracking more for accountability and control than an explicit intention of weight loss for over 6 months now. My body has definitely been feeling stronger, and based on my calculations, I should have lost over 2kg by now (I weigh my food pretty diligently and am careful to avoid under recording my meals). I saw an initial drop in my weight, but was discouraged to find that it seemed like I gained everything back after a few days despite my remaining in a deficit. I know this can most likely be attributed to day-to-day water fluctuations, but I had been weighing myself daily and was upset to see that I remained around the higher weight range for over a week.

I have been seeing physical changes, but given that it's summer and I'm wearing clothing that exposes my figure more (rather than the long-sleeved, long-pants clothes I've been wearing all year), I had convinced myself that I was imagining these minor changes and attributed them to muscle growth rather than fat loss.

Recently I spent the weekend in my home town and I was shocked to see that some of my old clothing fit looser and there was a more noticeable difference in my physique once I looked at myself in my old clothes! My mom even mentioned off hand that I look leaner and that she could tell I've been working out before I mentioned it to her. I can also see my collar bones more clearly, my shoulders look stronger, and my thighs are definitely thinner! Some clothes that were too small for me even fit me now. I've also remarked that I can feel more of my ribs now (definitely not in an unhealthy way, Im still slightly overweight for my height) which was something I never noticed!

My ultimate goal in exercising more and eating more nutritious foods were to feel more confident in my body and be able to look nice in stylish clothes that I'm too unconfident to wear now. As someone who tends to be obsessive with numbers, this is just a nice reminder that the scale isn't everything; I weighed myself again today and I still haven't lost any weight from the start of my journey. Nevertheless, I'm beginning to see noticeable, positive changes to my body that reflect the work I've been putting in.

**Edit** My bad on the title lol

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Tantrum Tuesday - The Day to Rant!

I Rant, Therefore I Am

Well bla-de-da-da! What's making your blood boil? What's under your skin? What's making you see red? What's up in your craw? Let's hear your weight loss related rants!
The rant post is a /u/bladedada production.

Please consider saving your next rant for this weekly thread every Tuesday.

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Lost all my progress

This is for anyone who's struggling as hard as I am with their weight loss/body image/mental health.

I was a super active basketball player in high school/university. 230-250lbs up and down about 11-15% body fat. Never skinny but never fat. Got hit with depression and anxiety in 3rd year uni. Turned 4 year degree into an 8 year one and 65 extra lbs. 315 at my heaviest. Lost 35lbs for my wedding last summer looked alright but not what I wanted regardless was happy with my progress.

Gained a solid 15 in married life and adjusting to my new job. Regardless lots of progress in depression/anxiety activity etc.

Lost that 15 again by the middle of May. Then I lost my best friend of 25 years (I'm 29) in a motorcycle accident. The first time I saw him after 2.5 months of quarantine was dead in his hospital bed. Since then I've gained 20lbs. Essentially almost at square one. 298lbs right now.

Feel like I've lost all control in my life and everything is just spiraling. I've been so busy trying to support his family that I haven't had anyone to vent to. My family was close with him so I don't have anyone to turn to because I don't want to make them more sad. I can't focus at work, I can't bring myself to lift a single weight.

I hope I can come back to this in 3-4 months with some progress so that I can show some people who are struggling that we can find light through our darkest times. I hope if you're struggling with depression with thoughts of harming yourself that you reach out to your friends/family/doctor and find the support you need.

I hope someone hears me. And I hope my buddy is okay wherever he is..watching and rooting for me.

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I used to be a fat acceptance advocate but...

I have always been fat. I am 34 years old and female. Some of my very first memories were understanding that I am fat and that it's bad. I had horrible self esteem that was directly tied to my body size. I was bullied at school and shamed at home. As you might guess, this lead to bulimia cycle and the eventual development of binge eating disorder. By the time I turned 20, I was around 300lbs. I yoyo'd for a few years, dropping 40lbe, gaining 30, etc. When I was 25, I had VSG surgery and lost 100lbs. At 190, it was the first time as an adult I weighed less than 200lbs. I felt AMAZING. I was confident, strong, fearless, and free. I wasn't thin yet, but I was able to do things in my body that I never could before, like sit in chairs without having to test them first and shop in the average sized section of stores. It was bliss, and I worked hard to keep that going for four years. I swore I'd never go back.

Then I got pregnant and every fiber in my being centered around eating food. I never got morning sickness or nausea. I got food cravings constantly and I was never not obsessing about food. I gained four lbs a week almost every week. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat while I was still sleeping. I learned later that this is also an eating disorder. I weighed 312lbs when my daughter was born. A few weeks after my weight leveled out around 280, and it stayed there. I started therapy to talk about my food and body issues, during which I was introduced to intuitive eating and radical fat acceptance.

I was floored and thought I had finally found my people. I rallied against weight loss, advocated for letting your body decide what to eat and how much. I started a radical fat acceptance IG account and preached to all my friends about the horrid of the diet industry (some still ring true now, but that's late stage capitalism for you) Guess what happened over he next several months? I gained 60lbs. It is god awful. I have compressed nerve pain in my hips the makes it hard to sit. I can't keep up running after my four year old. I am constantly in fear of having a heart attack, even though my vitals are completely normal. I have sleep apnea that makes getting rest impossible and I feel like a total sloth. I am not setting a good example for activity level for my daughter, I hate the way I look, I hate the way I feel, and I'm just ready to call bullshit on it all.

But I just really need help. I have done so many diets and read so much about it all and even studied nutrition in college, but my head is muddled with so much information that I don't know where to start. I'm afraid I'll fail, again, and get fatter, again. I just want my small body back. I don't even care if I'm truly thin, I just want to feel like I'm not living inside of 300lbs of dead weight. I want to hike without worrying about whether or not I can make it up a small hill. I I used to climb 15,000 foot mountains for fun! I used to hitchhike and walk 20+ miles in a day! I want to be that person again. So full of energy and happy. But, I need support and guidance and.. help.

TL;DR I'm fat as fuck and want help with where to start and who to talk to when I'm feeling like I can't do it

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No Real Hunger Cues?

Am I the only one that has a really hard time feeling hungry most of the time? I normally just end up feeling weak so that it’s difficult to walk, etc. and then take that as a sign I should eat? It usually happens after drinking coffee. This also has the opposite effect of me having a really hard time knowing when I’m full, and I have really bad binging tendencies because unless I physically feel extremely full, I just keep eating because I think hmmm I kind of want X food. I do stress eat to a certain extent, but I often binge even when not triggered at all??

Even when I calorie count with MFP, I always end up eating more for idk what reason, sometimes in severe excess, because I have a hard time feeling full and always end up wanting more food like psychologically or the taste. It’s almost like until i feel physically almost sick my body ignores hunger.

I know they say weight loss is really psychological. I think a lot of these issues were also exacerbated by my sophomore year. I would just drink black coffee in the morning, eat nothing for most of the day, and then eat a shit ton when I got back from school, but I would shake and feel weak from the last class of the day until my bus ride home. My family also really emphasizes eating together and often serves me portions at set times and I have to eat what my mom cooked at that time unless I want my parents mad at me, and when I was a little kid I was often forced to eat food until uncomfortably full because I was guilt tripped about kids in Africa.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar and have any advice?

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