Sone things are not mutually exclusive

I just read about things that seem to be opposite in nature but can actually be true at the same time, and realized just how much this fallacy has occurred in my life. Especially throughout my weight loss journey.

I often thought that I couldn’t be happy with my body and also want to change it. That I couldn’t live my best life and also restrict my eating. That I couldn’t advocate for body acceptance and care about my appearance. That I couldn’t find peace in my situation and strive for more. That I couldn’t love myself as I am and want to be better.

These are all lies that I’ve told myself that have held me back. If any of you are also misleading yourselves, in any facet of life, I recommend taking a second look at your thoughts from a fresh perspective. Some things are not mutually exclusive.

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Changing my idea of weight loss

20F, SW: 81kg, GW: 60kg CW: 73kg

So, I started my weight loss journey really at the start of the big C. March 23rd, the day everything shut down was my birthday and all that time alone had me reflecting on why I felt so bad about myself. I joined this Reddit, did my research, started CICO and because I don't really have any major problems with addictions to sugar and love fruit and veg it was pretty easy. My biggest hurdle is I'm a big snack fan so I just reduce my meal portion sizes and have healthy snacks like nuts, fruit, or popcorn. I lost weight at a normal rate, frustratingly slow at the time but on reflection from April to August losing 10kg is not bad at all, when I moved back to uni in August I was at 70kg.

Since university started and I actually have things to worry about outside calorie counting, things went out the window a bit. I gained 5kg back and lost half my progress and was back to feeling terrible. Now not only because I was unhappy with how I looked but because I had "failed myself". It encouraged me to get back onto counting, a little at a time. I'd enter only my lunch and my snacks, see how many calories I had left and 'guess' at dinner which was usually most time consuming as I tend to have to enter each ingredient individually or create a new 'meal' etc and so was the "worst" part of CICO.

Now I'm back to counting again and lost 2kg in a few weeks, I guess my body was just as ready to get back on the saddle as me. But my "NSV"(if you can call it that) really lies in the fact that while I knew weight loss would be a few steps forward a few steps back, I never predicted myself to be the type who would get out of the habit I thought was "so easy" but it's crazy how adding workloads and stress can ruin things. I'm not immune to pitfalls and I never will be.

PS. I'm glad despite 4 months of not counting I only gained 5kg. Maybe CICO helps long-term guess portion sizes as something I got used to? Guess I have a good New year's resolution. Get to my goal weight :D good luck everyone!

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Day 1: Finally being accountable for my actions - making changes for the better

A lot of people probably won't see this, but that's ok because I'm doing this for myself.

I am currently 17F (5"4/164cm, 128lbs/58kg), and I have been relatively chubby since I was 12. Nothing too notable to the point where I got bullied or picked on, but still, I was unhappy - I never liked the way I looked in all the cute clothes that other girls in my year could pull off. They would show off their amazing abs and toned legs in crop tops and mini shorts while I stared at my rolls and thigh fat in disgust. I would have given anything to look like them, with their perfect faces and bodies.

I remained unhappy in this chubby body until the end of 2019 (I was 16), when I finally decided to do something about this and change my body for the better. I started working out every morning before school (doing pilates) and watched what I ate. I drastically reduced my sugar consumption and was mindful of my junk food intake. I still allowed room for cheat meals of course, but these small changes gave me amazing results. The number on the scale dropped from 119lbs/54kg to 108lbs/49kg, and there was finally some definition in my abs - for the first time in my life, I felt confident and beautiful. I could wear crop tops and shorts and felt absolutely incredible.

I kept up with this healthy lifestyle into the beginning of 2020, but at this point, I started to become too conscious of what I consumed. My eating habits began to delve into dangerous territory. I downloaded a calorie tracking app, and soon I became obsessed with my daily caloric intake and the number on the scale. I had to calculate every single calorie I consumed throughout the day and soon, I eliminated all of my favourite foods just so that I could fit under my caloric threshold for the day. There were times where I would even cry for going over my daily limit by 100 calories. I was miserable, but my mindset at the time told me that this was worth it as long as I remained 'attractive'.

My breaking point occurred sometime in June this year. I fainted at school during the day because my caloric intake had been extremely low throughout the week and I had no energy. That day, I came home and decided to say 'fuck it' and ate everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) to my heart's content that I had missed out on for so long - this included carbs (such as bread, pasta, chips, cookies), cheese, sweets, ice cream, any junk you can think of etc. However, afterwards, I felt absolutely awful with myself and guilt consumed me for the rest of the night, my mind telling me 'how could you let yourself go like that? you're a disgusting piece of shit without self-control'. I told myself that this would be the first and last time that binge eating like this would happen - only it didn't. This binge-eating cycle continued into the next day, week, month and soon I found myself unable to stop eating. Thoughts of food consumed my mind, and I would pig out and eat everything whenever I felt like it. In the moment, I felt so good and just did not care about how I would feel afterwards. But I would always regret it. My body ached after these binges, and my brain would just be going through an endless cycle of guilt and shame. No matter how guilty I felt though, I just couldn't stop eating. It was like I developed an addiction to food.

Soon enough, this unhealthy lifestyle caught up to me and my weight ballooned from 108lbs/49kg in June, to 128lbs/58kgs as of yesterday, Dec 4th. My heart sank when I saw this number. Sure, I may still be in the 'healthy' weight range for my height, but it doesn't account for the physical and mental toll of this weight gain. There is no longer any definition in my stomach, and my thighs wobble every time I walk. My clothes don't fit me anymore and I have lost all confidence in how I look. Not only have I lost my confidence, but also my athletic ability, which I have failed to keep up with.

But I'm going to make a change. I've had enough of this. I'm so sick of eating until I feel physically sick, and so sick of not being able to fit into any of my clothes anymore. I'm tired of constantly feeling terrible about myself, and tired of making excuses for not exercising. It's time to change my life for the better. This journey from today onwards is not purely going to be about weight loss, but also about developing healthy eating habits and exercise routines that are sustainable in the long term. I'm allowed to eat a damn cookie or miss out a workout once in a while, but I will get back on track soon afterwards. To keep myself accountable, I'm going to log my progress onto this sub and track how I'm doing on a weekly basis. Although there is a long journey ahead in developing these healthy habits, I aim to stick to it and be the best that I damn well can be. I'll keep everything updated.

Good luck to everyone who is on a similar journey towards health!

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I went from a BMI of 35.1 to a BMI of 29.87 and I still feel like my body is disgusting

So I’m an now overweight thirteen year old, was Obease just a few days ago but got past that. I don’t feel like my body has really changed at all, I still feel gross about the cellulite on my upper legs and knees, I still have these under-arm flaps which haven’t even began to shrink, I still have moobs, I still feel like my body is unattractive. My weight loss has been extremely slow, my weight loss works exclusively in huge flushes of weight, meaning that I go from not losing any weight over the span of three weeks, to losing four to six pounds in three days, it’s very strange, I’ve been losing weight for six months and have only lost thirty pounds even with a 1400 calorie deficit and regular exercise. I guess I just thought that weight loss would make me feel better about myself, but I still don’t feel good about myself. The way that I view my body changes day to day, even though I’m three pounds lighter, I feel like I looked better last month. I don’t know, weight loss is confusing.

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I miss the feeling of over eating, and I miss relaxing by eating in front of the TV

I’ve been mildly successful in my weight loss, having lost about 15lbs since August of this year, but I’ve been struggling to stay on track for more than a few days at a time before I just start eating whatever I want again. I’m still successful despite this, but I think that’s because my starting weight is so high (269). Plus, I know I could be making faster progress if I stuck to it better. How are y’all doing it???

I plan cheat days (1 a week) but it always ends up being more like 3-4 a week. I can eat a generous amount of calories for my size and I try to pick high volume low calorie food, but I miss the junk food. I usually have room in my calorie budget for one indulgence in the evening but that’s not always satisfying to me. I miss the feeling of being physically stuffed - I feel like since I’m not eating to the point of being seriously over full I am not getting full at all, if that makes sense? I’m getting tired of denying myself, and each time I resist I feel like it takes more and more effort on my part.

If you’ve managed to figure out how to overcome this, please let me know!

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hypothyroidism is crushing my will to workout

I found out I was suffering from hypothyroidism 2 years ago. Until then my weight has always yo-yo'd with no rhyme or reason. I struggled with my weight for as long as I could remember. I finally felt like things would get better and I could be normal. The first year started off great, I started a marathon training plan, switched to a low carb diet(100g on running days, 50g on off days) at the advice of a doctor, and paired with levothyroxine I was finally losing weight. I went from 250 to 225 slowly but surely. Took about 10 months. Felt like I was in the best shape of my life. By the end of that year, something changed.

I decided to take a month long break from running, the brain fog came back, I started feeling sluggish. The weight started creeping back up. I figured I might just need a boost in meds.

I was originally seeing my primary Dr, and she wasn't being proactive enough for my liking. Fast forward six months later I'm back to 240. 240 has some significance, because it has always felt like a magnet weight, like I always gravitate back to it.

To give some dietary context, I eat about 2300 cals per day, currently at 240lbs. I have a low carb based diet. I run 3x per week on a good week, and lift 3x per week. Carbs and sugar are kept to a minimum, most cals come from fats(red meat, fish, dairy, butter, olive oil, acadia, etc), and about 100g of protein a day. I've tried 1800 calories a day for 6 months and that did nothing. Tried 2500 cals per day and I gained weight.

Anyways, I found an endocrinologist I liked, and she got me on t3 and t4. That instantly made me feel better but it took about 3 months to dial it in.

Once again I started running and lifting, but I get the feeling that I have to workout extreme amounts to get any weight loss. She mentioned that 240 may be my set point weight. I'm not really sure what to do anymore. I find myself making excuses and not wanting to run, not wanting to workout because it feels pointless. Is there anything else I could try? I'm starting to lose my mind.

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Act like you truly believe you are at your goal, not like you are trying to reach it.

Hey all, I've been maintaining at my goal weight for 3 years now. I've been gaining a little weight recently and took a moment to reflect on the journey and it led me to the thought in the title.

It seems like good advice, not only for weight loss, but really for any goal.

With weight loss specifically, we often share the wisdom that it's a marathon not a sprint, evoking a race with a beginning and an end.

Your efforts are going towards running the race, your mindset is that you are working towards a state of completion.

But we don't ever, and I mean, ever reach completion with how we feel about our bodies. No one does. By this I mean, satisfied or not, we will always think about our bodies.

So your goal should not be to "complete the race" but it is to learn how to both behave and believe to be at your goal.

We sometimes share this same advice, though more simply, with the phrase "think thin" (though this is problematic as general advice. So think [your goal] instead.

It took reflecting on my past feelings while losing weight to understand and feel the difference of where my attitude and efforts are now.

We often reflect on our memories with our best or worst moments, but the commonplace gets kind of shrouded by the emotions tied up to those big memories.

Think carefully about the small moments, the habits you built. Where you would eat out when you were hungry, what you did instead of following your daily planned meal, the little treats or other indulgences.

Those things add up. They Are your behavior.

Your default settings need to change.

And that can only happen if you ask yourself, "if I were at my goal, what would I do?" every single time you're unsure.

You won't always get the answer right. Repeat this process until you do.

That's the recipe for long term success.

Thanks for reading.

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