F25, 5'9, SW:398lb, CW:210, GW: 180s
I started my weight loss journey at age 23, october of 2020, during the pandemic. I had hit rock bottom mentally and health wise. I had just entered a public health masters program (funny as I was literally the opposite of what I was studying). Through some life events leading up to that moment, I had developed a case of extreme anxiety and panic attacks where I couldn't take deep breaths and was ALWAYS out of breath even when sitting. I was utterly miserable physically. I couldn't walk for long times, my insulin levels were through the roof, prediabetic, no periods, pcos issues, hair loss, etc.
Mentally, I was always a skinny girl caught in the body of an obese cage. I wanted to be able to represent my field in looking fit and healthy. I wanted to be a confident girl. I wanted to wear cute clothing and be in a relationship. I felt trapped. I felt like my weight was literally preventing me from having a life.
I gave myself a 3 month time frame. Put 100% effort and lose 20lbs. If I were to achieve that goal, Id continue. If I fail, I'll accept the fate of being the fat girl and Ill fully commit to the role and enjoy my life with food and fat body acceptance until I die.
I started with cico, stopped eating all junk food and went cold turkey. I was committed to eating a clean diet of protein, veggies, fruits, whole carbs, whole grain foods, etc. I stuck to the basics. The idea was that if nature hadnt created it, I wont eat it (or if the ingredients werent real). I calculated my tdee and reduced it every few months according to the weight I lost.
My exercise was 5 times a week for 45minutes. I could either workout, or go on a walk. Eventually this turned into an hour of cardio+weight training and morning 1 mile walks 3-4x weekly.
Slowly and surly, the weight started coming off. It took me 2 years and 4 months to lose 185lbs. I decided to get skin removal surgery. My surgery was split into 2 sessions. First surgery was set for feb 10, 2023. It consisted of a 360 body lift + breast lift. My second surgery is planned to be scheduled for May-June of 2023. It consists of arms and upper back (maybe inner thighs). My insurance did not cover anything. I paid for it all out of pocket and it was a big chunk. But I knew this was needed for my mental health and due to medical issues. I was having pain from the pulling of the skin on my body. I was always uncomfortable. It wasnt easy to maintain.
I am one month post-op. The surgeon removed 17lbs of skin from my abdomen. This took my weight down to 196lbs. During the past month I have gained 25lbs of water weight and then lost 11lbs. Currently I am sitting at 210lbs but I still have alot of swelling to go down and theres probably a few pounds of fat gain. Recovery has been interesting. It takes patience. It takes mental strength. I had 2 drains that lasted 4 weeks in me (the average time is 1-2 weeks). The sites are still healing. I am sore and I still cant get comfortable when I sleep. But every day is a bit of improvement. Everyone heals according to their own body. I am currently eating as my body tells me to. My body is asking for food every 1-2 hours and I listen to it because it is recovering and needs energy to heal me. I have been eating around 1800-2500 calories on average during the recovery time.
Today I was able to do my first workout session. Weight lifting and cardio for an hour. It felt amazing to be back in the gym. Cant wait to see how my body looks through body recomp and the rest of my recovery process. Its called a journey for a reason!
If I could do it, so can you!
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