Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Have you ever had a friend try to sabotage your weight loss?

Since I actively started losing weight, my friend started behaving strangely, for example, saying that she ate something tasty or unhealthy like burgers and pizza as if bragging that she can afford that, saying that I look good anyway and I don’t need a diet, while it feels like a lie. She also does such a tricky thing as premature praise so that I relax and give up losing weight, she says that have a thin face and “stick legs”. Which is impossible, again, with my extra pounds. Why does she do this?

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Plateau for 3 weeks on significant deficit.

M/43/205lbs, 185lb goal. I’m at a bit of a loss here regarding my weight loss. I started mid-April and went from 235 to 208 in about 40 days or so, I’m assuming some of its water weight but weighing myself at the same time each day tracked a bit under a pound per day loss. TDEE calculators peg me at about 3200c/day maintenance and I was around 1300.

This is doing the 75 hard program, so I’m running a 4 day split 5-3-1 boring but big with some core and auxiliary work on the 3 non-program days. I also walk/jog 4 miles every evening and have been doing a lot of masonry work around the house.

My diet specifics I set for myself were low carb 20/4 fast (eat from 5pm to 9pm) with an allowance for my morning latte. Loose measuring gave me 190 calories for my coffee then 900 - 1200 calories for my dinner. About a month ago there was a change to my goal date and I tweaked things a bit.

Every day I have two protein shakes: Breakfast - 130 calories 12oz water 33g ghost coffee ice cream protein powder (120c) 4oz ice cubes 1.5oz 0 calories Carmel pecan syrup 2oz espresso (10c)

After dinner (8pm)- 160 calories 12oz water 4oz ice cubes 5g sugar free chocolate pudding mix (15c) 34g ghost Cinnabon protein powder (130c) 5g benefiber (15c)

Last night my meal was 755 calories. 200g trimmed tri tip (315c) 28g blue cheese crumbles (100c) 100g baby spinach (100c) 30g black olives (40c) 30ml pomegranate dressing (40 calories) 28g crushed pistachios (160c)

I’m also drinking between 1 and 1.5 gallons of water per day. I am only getting about 6 hours of sleep but that’s normal for me.

The only thing that changes daily are my dinners but everything is measured, normally before cooking then divided equally after it’s done. I know I’m on the low side but I don’t understand how my weight isn’t dropping and my lifting isn’t being impacted (1rm is going up for each).

I’ve lost another few inches from my waist but the scale hasn’t changed. My fiancé is dropping weight as well (not as drastic) and the scale is reporting this correctly so it’s not the scale.

I’m just confused and wondering what could be going on. I’m pusing a 2000+ calorie deficit and should be down to almost 190 instead of the 205 I’ve been stuck at for 3 weeks. Is there any reason the weight isn’t going away or anything specific I should try? If it’s an imbalance of some kind, should I get bloodwork done and what would I be looking for?

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Feel bigger even though i’m consistently losing weight

Hi everyone, not really sure what I want from this post (advice, others feeling the same, some brutal honesty etc etc) but I just need to get my thoughts out.

I have been losing weight since the start of the year but have been doing well for about three months. I’ve started walking 10k steps daily, lowering my portions, calorie deficit all the good stuff. I haven’t lost tons on the scale yet, i’ve been eating what I want in moderation and i’m happy with slow consistent weight loss. I’m used to fad diets and wanting to lose all the lbs in 2 weeks and I know it just doesn’t work like that.

Anyway, as the title says, I feel like since i’ve started losing weight my insecurities about my body have heightened. I have taken the progress pics, i’ve got some pairs of jeans that i’ve been tracking how they feel and it’s going well. All of my clothes feel looser, I have more energy, everything seems to be going how I want it to except visibly how I look.

I feel like the biggest i’ve ever been (I’m not), I feel like nothing suits me, everything looks frumpy and I feel horrible in myself. It’s making me lose motivation and my discipline is slipping. Has anyone else felt this? Is there a name for it? when I think about my progress I’m proud of myself for sticking to this for even three months which I know in the grand scheme of things isn’t a lot but when I was doing fad diets I was lucky to stick to 2 weeks!!

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Monday, June 9, 2025

What am I doing wrong? 270 pounds & morbidly obese (26F) in need of tough love

I started taking my weight loss seriously in February, but it is so discouraging when you don’t see any momentum down on the scale. I was 280 pounds, 5’7” and morbidly obese on Feb. 20. I started cutting processed foods, cutting down on takeaways, and increasing movement. The first week I went walking my thighs were sore after 30 minutes. But then it got easier. I can honestly say I’m more mobile and have a healthier diet now than I did before. Not perfect by any means, but much improved.

That being said, I’ve only lost 10 pounds. I’m stuck at about 270 no matter what I do, and it makes me want to give up and turn back to food. I feel fatter than ever, because I took off my beer goggles while trying to get healthy. I have really started looking at myself, and I can’t believe how bad it has gotten. I’m so young but in the 98-99th BMI percentile nationally. I don’t know how I let myself get like this.

How do I push forward when the results haven’t been there?

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Calories deficit and lifting weights

Hello all. I am 21 years old Female weighs 142 lbs and 5’2” . I look plumpy and fluffy for my height and my goal is to be around 110-115 lbs and look slim. I dont really care about muscle gains or whatevs. I am on a calorie deficit diet eating 1200-1500 calories everyday and lift weights 6 days a week. Been hitting gym for 3 weeks and i am now at 137 lbs.

Some say lifting weights while trying to lose body fat make you gain muscle causing weight not drop significantly or making it slow weight loss process (body recomp or whatever from what I read). Is that true?

Should i just quit gym and just keep focusing on strict dieting with calorie deficit + maybe 10k steps everyday

Or should i renew my gym membership and go for more weight lifting

And i dont wanna do cardio it makes me so tired And yes i already know weight lifting or any workout in general makes me healthy and i should do it but For now i just wanna clearly know If i should go for dieting alone or diet + weight lift to get my goal of 110-115 lb body

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Sunday, June 8, 2025

Emotional eating , trauma and weight gain

I'm a 36 year old guy. I'm 6 ft 1 and weigh around 140kg. I am single, trying to date but it's very clear no woman wants a man who weighs this much.

I always had an issue with my weight, I was molested when I was 8 years old and my family's staple of high carb diet didn't help at all. I always ate till I was overly full, there was no moderation. Some of my earliest memories were my friends laughing at how much I ate and my uncle telling my mother he thinks I eat far too much for my age.

I hated sports till I reached my 20s. During my early to mid 20s I was full of rage as the memories of what I had to go through started affecting me more and more. At university I studied medicine and I decided to take up boxing. I loved it and did very well in the sport, my grades were very good too but one day unfortunately I was standing in front of a group of girls in the gym , doing squats as a warm up and one of them groped my rear. I was too terrified to speak out but I still remember I was in a hazey, numb state for a good 2 weeks. I immediately quit the sport and my grades plummeted to where I went from being first of the class to getting kicked out of university. That was the last time I ever hit the gym.

Since then I have been yo-yo dieting. There were times in my life in my late 20s when I would work out at home obsessively almost to the point of near passing out but that sort of lifestyle is never sustainable so I'd give up, gain a whole bunch of weight and start again. Since covid though, despite all my efforts I haven't been able to slim down.

Im quite frankly tired of lying to people who show concern about my health. I have gotten to the point where I eat lunch alone at work, as a manager I attend dinners with other colleagues where I'd order a salad to show everyone that I'm very fat but I'm eating healthy but then immediately go to KFC on the way home and order a 10 piece bargain bucket all to myself and eat the chips the next day. I still live at home (I'll be moving to my new apartment in a month) and to bypass my mother who keeps a strict inventory of food in the kitchen and pantry, I usually snack at 2am when everyone's gone to sleep by ordering McDonald's at the 24 hour drive through.

This fat is not only killing me, it's made my life so much harder. Having to constantly hide myself from eveyome is exhausting. When I go to the office I am the only one who takes the lift, I go earlier than everyone so no one sees me avoid the stairs and how much the lift dips when I step on. I can't urinate properly, I have to sit down to pee and that involves fumbling around all the fat to find my pathetic manhood. I can't wipe my rear properly either, my arms aren't that flexible anymore. I'm tired all the time as I can't sleep properly and I went from looking young to looking like I'm at least early to mid 40s. I don't look at myself in the mirror and I avoid all glass reflections.

Today was the last straw when I was at a funfair with my friends kids for their birthday (they're twins) They wanted to go on one of the rollercoasters and as my friend recently had a knee surgery he was in a wheelchair so I decided to go. I couldn't fit on the ride, the staff there said the kids couldn't ride without an adult and I wasn't allowed to ride because I was too fat so we ended up going home. I tried arguing with the staff there but they weren't having it. The kids were extremely disappointed , they were crying for most of the journey home and as soon as I got home I burst into tears and have been unable to stop crying for a good hour. This is my lowest point , I can't believe I let things get this far. Even now, I ordered a large stuffed crust pizza out of desperation and hurt. I went From running half marathons with a pace of being under 5mins per KM to being unable to walk up one flight of stairs or fit in a rollercoaster.

Is it too late for me? I know weight loss gets harder when we reach our mid to late 30s but is my life now completely ruined with no hope?

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Anyone else dislike their post weight loss body? 😔

TL;DR

In my 20's at 220 to 250, I was curvy and solid hourglass. At my max of 325 (30's), i was still hourglass, just a very large version and not as deep of a waist definition. Now, at 40, I've lost about 40lbs in 6 months and am no longer a solid hourglass. At 235, my shape is now soft hourglass (barely). My hip to waist ratio is crap and I wish I would have stayed at 250, or 245. I can weight train, but it will not get that soft curve back.

DETAILED STORY:

I've always been very solid, very statuesque, and very curvy. In my early 20s, I gained a few pounds and I lost it. At 25, I was curvy, ideal size, busty hips, hourglass shape.

Early 30s, I gained weight, lost, gained, but for the most part, I stayed heavy, with intermittent parts of being slimmer. I'm 6 feet tall, I went up to 320 pounds. I stayed there for maybe a year. then lost it. But I ranged around 260 for a while, and then 300 for a while.

In my late 30s, I finally lost a significant amount of weight. I went from the 3 somethings to 260. I maintained 260 for over a year and a half and I was still curvy/voluptuous/hourglass. I went down to 250, 248. At that point, I was jogging a few times a week, no weight training, nothing else. I was still curvy. I was nice, actually. I think that was my ideal for me. My hip to waist ratio was very nice. My stomach wasn't flat, but it wasn't big, especially compared to the rest of my body. My boobs were still busty, and I still had a lot of cleavage.

At that point, and this was like a year and a half ago, I gained 30 pounds and went up to 280. I stayed at 280 for about six months. Then from this Feb until now, I went doen to 233. Now, while going down to 233, I enjoyed it. I saw the changes, and I loved it. However, once I got to 240, 233, I noticed significant changes. I was back to my weight of when I was in my early 20s, but I didn't have the same body. I know my muscle mass is different. I don't have the same amount of muscle as in my 20s. However, I lost a lot of cleavage, and cleavage is really what makes your breasts look bigger. Although you can have a large size of breasts, but if you don't have enough cleavage, it won't look as big. It won't have that oomph.

So I lost a lot of cleavage. There's that. My hips are starting to go down now, but my belly is not going down to match my hips. I don't know if eventually the belly will catch up, but I've already lost a lot of belly, but now I'm losing hip, and it's not looking right. I'm looking more square. Not fully square, but I'm looking more square. My hip-to-waist ratio is not as deep, not as defined, and I'm hating it, honestly.

I don't like it, and I'm at a point where I wish I would have stayed at 250 and just weight trained. Now I'm like 236, and I don't like it one bit. People are saying weight train, weight train, but when you weight train, you can build the muscle in your hips, but that fat that gives you the nice curve, you can't add that back in. So it's kind of crummy. It makes me feel like I should have stayed at 250 and just had lipo for the stomach and maintained everything else.

So at this point...People are telling me, just weight train and it'll get better. Weight train your butt, weight train your hips. And it sucks because my waist was 35 and my hips were 48. Now, my waist is still 35 and my hips are 45. And here's the thing, I've always been curvy since about 13. I've always been busty and curvy. Even in my slim weight, I still had an hourglass curve. When I gained weight, my curve became much more pronounced, significant. When I gained weight, I was still solid hourglass, but I was just a bigger version of my older self.

Now, I'm slimmer. I'm at the weight when I was in my early 20s. I am not hourglass anymore. I'm a soft hourglass as opposed to a solid hourglass. And that makes a difference and it's really hurting my feelings.What hurts the most is that I can't really, it's hard to get advice or talk to anybody about it because they don't get it. Either some people are like, you lost weight, shut up. Or those people are like, oh, you're fine, you're still shapely. And other people are like, oh, so what? You know, everyone has their own thing, but you're the one dealing with it. And so what matters most is how you feel, how the individual feels.

I'm hoping, I'm trying to find someone who experienced something similar so I can see what I can do or how I can approach this. People are always like, if you're curvy, you're curvy forever. That's not true. And as you get older, your body redistributes weight a little bit differently. So you could have been curvy all your life and then suddenly, guess what? You're a different shape. That is very possible.You may not go from hourglass to an inverted triangle, but unfortunately, your shape can change significantly.

Right now, I don't know what to do to increase my hip size. I don't know. So let me know what you find out. I'm still going to research and see what I can find.

TL;DR

In my 20's at 220 to 250, I was curvy and solid hourglass. At my max of 325 (30's), i was still hourglass, just a very large version and not as deep of a waist definition. Now, at 40, I've lost about 40lbs in 6 months and am no longer a solid hourglass. At 235, my shape is now soft hourglass (barely). My hip to waist ratio is crap and I wish I would have stayed at 250, or 245. I can weight train, but it will not get that soft curve back.

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