Posting for accountability but also for some blunt honesty with myself and would love feedback / tips / all of it.
I was raised on fad diets in the 70s/80s. My mom during my life was a 10-16 size, gym teacher, and nutritionist who missed her size 6 self and yo yo dieted until she was 70 and got bariatric surgery (which is a whole other thing). But pick a fad diet and I tried it.
I was an active kid on the chubby side but not extended clothes sizing. Water skiing, swimming, dance class, aerobics videos, weightlifting, cross country running, gymnastics for fun - you name it I probably loved it. Growing up in and around gyms didn’t hurt. Get bored - play on the parallel bars. It was all still just play. We ate… ok. Everything was microwaved. Lots of diet soda and processed food. My parents are ice cream every night. Portions were… Midwestern.
When I started college I had a cafeteria plan and 1000% less activity even though I walked / biked everywhere and had some dance classes. And I gained 120lbs. And then the next summer I went on birth control - and gained another 50.
Since then (1993?) I’ve been mostly within 20lbs above to below the 300 mark. There was a moment in the early / mid 2000s where I did Atkins for 3 years (and lived in a 4th floor walk up) and lost 120lbs. But the depression from nutritional gaps was real. So I tried to go back to more balanced eating and … within about 3 years… back to the 300 line.
My wife, my friends are all naturally thin people. We have a pretty active life - I’m 5000 steps a day on average during the work week and 8-10k on the weekends.
Now I’m in my early 50s and my body is unhappy about carrying this weight. I seem to tweak / injure my knee about 2x a year, my ankles constantly give me pain, my back always hurts, and I find myself begging off of fun things I used to love because I’m worried about pain or injury.
I have the shoe inserts and compression socks which help but damn.
So about a month ago I joined the gym. Have made it in 1-4x a week since. I’m trying to figure out how to enable my friends to help. I don’t want to be whiny or seem weak but also - I don’t want this to kill me or impair my mobility. I love to travel, dance, perform on stage (I’m a musician), walk everywhere - and right now carrying this weight is hurting my quality of life so much. I want to let it go.
Somehow this feels different than other years. I don’t want it to be just another fad diet like when I was a kid.
I tried ozembic a few years ago but stopped it b/c I was afraid of the blindness side effect. I tried metformin but couldn’t tolerate the side effects (and it didn’t help much). I tried one of the speedier weight loss drugs and ended up in afib. Contrave wasn’t impactful. I’m asking my dr re monjauro when she is back from vacation.
This journey feels so hard and also - I’m ready to start it. Not for vanity but for longevity. Every day is a choice. Wish me luck!
What have you found helpful for your friends / spouses to do to support your journey? I want to ask for help but… what can they do when the choices are all mine ?
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