I had a really uncomfortable situation with a co-worker today, we’ll call her ‘Jane’. So Jane has somewhat of a reputation for being quite loud and abrasive and many of my other colleagues have complained about how annoying she is. For context she is a normal healthy weight, and about 16 years older than me (which she frequently points out to me). Anyways so I went over to Janes desk today to ask her something work related, and she literally took one look at me and shrieked and exclaimed (so that everyone in the vicinity heard) ‘oh my god you’ve lost so much weight!’ I smiled and said something like ‘oh yeah thanks I have lost a bit yeah.’ She then got this really weird look and continued: ‘no no you’ve lost so much, and way too fast. Too much, too fast!!!’ I said that I hadn’t lost very much, and that it’s taken me over 5 months; all the while trying to diffuse the situation as Jane was basically shouting and causing a massive scene. I kind of just shrugged it off, and tried to change the subject to a work issue which worked for a few minutes and then she just goes ‘I barely recognise you, you’ve lost so much weight.’ I pointed out that we see each other nearly every day in kind of a jokey way, and then she just goes ‘okay but don’t lose anymore okay?’ in a kind of fake concerned tone. I kind of just smiled and changed the subject back to work again, and then managed to escape back to my work area.
Besides the fact that this whole scene was pretty embarrassing for me, it’s the last comment that really pissed me off. How can a normal weight person (or anybody really) tell an OBESE person to not lose any more weight? That’s so fucked up…I really wanted to tell her that my BMI is 31 and that I need to lose more weight for my health, and that it’s not a vanity thing but the whole thing was so embarrassing I just wanted the whole conversation to end.
I know it’s going to come up again, and she’ll probably cause another scene as I still have about 40 pounds to lose before I’m even at a healthy BMI. My question to you guys is have you dealt with similar situations with colleagues/friends/family members and how do you deal with it? Do you explain your weight loss journey or just shrug it off or what? I just can’t get over how messed up it is to tell an overweight person to not lose weight. Why would she say this?
TLDR: co-worker made a massive scene at work about my weight loss and then told me (an obese person) not to lose any more weight. How to deal the next time she does this?
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