I Have Terrible Impulse Control and I Don't Know How to Fix it (TW: Mental Illness)

I've NFSW'd this post as a make-shift trigger warning so if that's not allowed sorry.

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Like I'm sure a lot of LoseIt's members, my weight loss journey has been alongside my mental health journey. For me personally this is mostly to do with OCD.

As of two and a half years ago I was in reasonably good mental health and had lost 40bs to put me at 130lbs from starting at 170lbs. It took give or take eight months. I was so proud of myself. Then the next year along I had a massive mental breakdown due to my OCD. After that it was a continous spiral of misery and weight gain, a constant cycle. The more depressed and paranoid the OCD made me the more I ate. I was a comfort eater before but it became my main hobby.

Then, to top it off after gaining back about 20lbs over a 9 month period, I moved away from home for a job and became even worse mentally. It was a mistake and I regret it completely, as I gained another 30lbs in six months. IN SIX MONTHS! I mean... Fuck. I'm now give or take 185lbs. 15lbs heavier than when I originally started in 2017.

I've gone through this once before. I know exactly what I need to do. Eat a certain amount of calories a day, do more regular exercise, remember that mistakes can be made it's a marathon not a race etc.

I'm having a lot of trouble starting again. I'm starting therapy again very soon. I think I'm addicted to food in general, but sugar especially. There hasn't been a single day for months where I haven't fallen for cravings. I feel totally weak to them no matter what. Even after a nice, nutritious meal if I have the chance I will scoff down some chocolate biscuits or order a pizza. Even when I'm not hungry!

I just don't know what to do about this.

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Starting over - new goals, new plans, no more binge eating, no more yo-yo dieting - I want to be happy ONCE AND FOR ALL

Age/sex: 28 Female

Height: 5'7"

Start Weight: 156

Current Weight: 156

Goal Weight: 126

I have binged and yo-yo dieted for the last 7 years. Before that, I was very thin, had abs, ate whatever I wanted. I was one of those people everyone would always get mad at because my diet consisted of hot cheetos, cheeseburgers, taco bell, and Chinese takeout but I wouldn't gain any weight. This quickly ended when I was 21 years old. I have always had a really small frame ("ectomorph") for my height and I mostly gain all of my weight on my stomach and "muffin tops" while my arms, boobs, legs, and butt stay scrawny. So I begun wearing over sized sweater and shirts to hide my "problem area." This only made things worse, I didn't try to fix the problem, I just covered it up and gained more.

Now I have gotten to the point to where my torso holds almost ALL of the 30 lbs I have gained but my legs and upper arms/shoulders have also packed on weight. When I first gained all of this weight, the first time I tried to diet was AWFUL. I had no idea what I was doing so I started eating 800 calories per day (this was in 2013). Needless to say, this blew up in my face and was the beginning of my issue with binge eating. After that diet I could not stop binging. Since then, I have tried weight loss in a healthier way over the last 6 years. Every year I start in January and I get REALLY close to my goal weight in July. After July, I start binging again and gain everything back by November + some. It's a cycle that happens every year and I am tired of it.

Currently...

I started in January, took my before-and-after photos, recorded my weight, etc. I decided to not put too much pressure on myself and just weight myself once per month. My calorie intake was 1600. On Feb 1, I weighed myself and had gained 1 lbs. This is when I decided I will eat 1450 cal/day and weigh myself every two weeks. To keep myself accountable. I felt like I was starting to cheat myself a bit in January.

I was vegan for 4 years and have transitioned to being vegetarian for the last year. I have recently discovered that my iron levels are veryyyy low. I have had an addiction to eating ice for the last year. So much so that I was ordering multiple iced lattes and iced coffees per day just so I could chew the ice.

As far as exercise goes... I hate it. However, I do love to hike, walk, and cycle. So I decided that I will make sure to hike and cycle at least twice a week and walk at least 2 other days a week. This is something I have been keeping up on since January. I also have a gym in my apartment complex so I need to push myself to go in there at least 1-2 times per week. Just need to find the motivation :/

So my new goals are to stop eating ice, get more iron, be more active, and stick to CICO.

I have problems with depression, anxiety, and trauma so I actually started seeing a therapist last week. Hopefully this helps with some underlying issues and keeps me motivated.

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Am I (F, 22) not losing weight because of muscle gain?

I am currently trying to lose body fat, while also maintaining lean muscle mass. There is controversy regarding whether or not you can actually gain any muscle while in a caloric deficit, but it’s been said that having a high body fat percentage can contribute energy toward muscle growth despite being in a caloric deficit. That being said, I am a 5’6 female, 150 pounds, with 30% body fat. I am hoping to get down to about ~20% body fat. My TDEE is around 2,000. I am not currently in school this quarter so my days consist of going to the gym for about 2 hours where I walk at about 3.5 for 60 minutes and I lift weights for about an hour. I’m currently doing a push-pull-leg split. When I’m not at the gym I try to stay on my feet all day and not sit around. I end up with about 15,000 steps per day. So, with that in mind I calculated my TDEE to be about 2,000. If I want to lose 1 pound per week, I have to cut 500 cals per day which is exactly what I’ve done. So I’m eating 1,500 calories per day. I have meal prepped meticulously and tracked calories for the past two weeks and each week when I weigh in, my weight stays right at 150 pounds. I’ve been training extra hard the past two weeks and lifting heavy. Perhaps the reason I remain at 150 pounds is because I’m losing fat but also gaining muscle? However, I’m pretty sure you can’t gain muscle that fast....shouldn’t I eat least see a small weight loss on the scale? Any info would be greatly appreciated!

Also, I am hesitant to reduce my caloric intake based on how active I am, and I don’t want to plateau via metabolic adaptation too quickly into my weight loss journey.

TL;DR I have been consistently eating in a 500 calorie deficit per day from my TDEE so I should expect to be losing a pound per week. However my weight has remained exactly the same for two weeks straight. I have been meal prepping and tracking calories meticulously so I know I am not overeating. I am also training especially hard in the gym and lifting a lot so perhaps this is muscle gain? But I doubt I can muscle gain muscle that fast. Am I doing something wrong? Or am I losing fat and gaining muscle? Why is my weight staying the same?

Thank you!

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8lbs down, almost halfway to my mini goal!

I started tracking CICO and eating at about 1700 calories a day on January 10th. I also cut out added sugar and started doing cardio almost every day. I was bummed after not seeing results for a few weeks, but after cutting my calories from 1700 to 1500 it started to happen! Also thanks to a wonderful post here about a "cardio slump" (where after starting regular cardio it won't reflect on the scale for a few weeks) I got a boost in motivation, and then it REALLY started to happen!

8lbs may not be a lot and is far from my goal weight, but it's really put a spring in my step this morning. I'm going on vacation on March 16th for spring break and would really like to have lost 20lbs by then, and I can't believe I'm almost halfway there. This subreddit has been unbelievably motivating and it feels so nice to post here and actually have people listen!

I'm also moving back to my old job in the summer, which I'm super excited about because it's a great job, but also there will be coworkers who I haven't seen since last January and I can't wait for them to see me after the weight loss :) Here's to the next 50lbs!

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Gym for fun and fitness, CICO for weight loss

Hi all! I've always struggled with my weight, always loved to eat a lot, and drink many a beer. I got myself into gear after a big break-up and lost 20kg just recently! I love this sub for all the inspiration it gives! For the last year, I've been training in a Powerlifting/Strongman gym. They are both super fun and accepting sports! For this past 4 months, I've been working out with great intensity, twice a day, 4 days a week. I have a great, very experienced coach. I'm training to compete in heavyweight strongman competitions!

However, over the last 2 months, despite working out like a mad person 8 or more times a week, I have actually put on around 8 kg - most of it fat (hopefully a little muscle). I'm feeling strong as an ox however, and have it personal bests in everything.

I guess what I am saying is I am Living Proof that CICO is king for weightloss, the gym is great for cardiovascular health or for strength or training, but if your CICO is out of whack, you're going to gain weight!

Getting fit has millions of benefits, but you will not outrun your fork, so if you want to lose weight it is CICO all the way, with the gym and sport having their own wonderful yet (likely) seperate benefits

TLDR: 10+ hours of gym per week and still gained weight - it's CICO all the way

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Disappointing doctors visit after losing 115lbs...

So, I went to the doctors the other day and I'm having some troubles with it and I was hoping that I'd get some help here.

For some background, I'm a 32 year old female who lives in California. Back in May of 2018 I started losing weight and in the past nearly year and a half I went from 325lbs down to 210lbs(ish). I did it with the iTrackBites app, as well as calorie counting. I also have been doing cardio 5x a week this whole time and started running last May. I usually run between 2-3miles, 5 days a week and my diet consists of 1200-1600 calories a day. My goal weight is between 160-170lbs. My main thing is that I want to get to a healthy BMI. I've been overweight all my life and just can't take it anymore.

I had been losing weight pretty consistently but back in July my weight loss practically stopped. I tried intermittent fasting, tried adding more exercise and nothing seems to be working. Granted, I fell off the diet train a little in November-December for the holidays, but I didn't manage to gain anything back. I simply wasn't losing anymore.

I finally worked up the courage to go to the doctors in the new year to get a physical as well as a full blood panel. At this point I was sure that there was something wrong with me that I wasn't losing an ounce of weight in 9 months, even given my cheat days over the holidays.

I went in on Monday for the results and everything came back normal. My hunch that this was a thyroid problem proved to be wrong (we have thyroid issues in my family), so I was curious as to why I wasn't losing anymore.

I tried to voice my concerns to my doctor but I could tell that she wasn't listening to me. I have Medi-Cal, which is the low-income medical insurance in California. I'm sure I was one of 50 patients she had to see that day, so I only had >5 minutes of her time before she rushed off to the next person.

She told me that the only way I can lose weight fast and keep it off is with the gastric sleeve surgery.

I told her that surgery wasn't really the way I wanted to do and asked if she could recommend a nutritionist or dietitian or anything else I could try. She told me that “they will tell you what to eat but not how to lose weight”. She assured me that I was young and healthy and a prime candidate for the sleeve surgery. That she could get me a referral to a doctor she knew, he could give me a consultation and get me approved for surgery in 2 days.

Needless to say, I left the appointment disappointed. I couldn't believe that a physician would give me the brush off like that. All my life I avoided doctors because they all told me how important it was that I lose weight, all the different ways that I could change my lifestyle to get healthier and now I'm asking for help and she couldn't give me the time of day.

I'm going to give it another try in a couple weeks when my work schedule loosens up. I'm going to make an appointment with a weight loss specialist (or someone who can help me find one), see what other options there are out there for me. I'm not 100% against going under the knife, there's just no way that I'm not going to try my other options before I do.

TO GET TO THE POINT, I'd like some pointers here. Does anyone have anything they can recommend I do to get losing weight again? I have a feeling that I cut calories -way- too quickly and now my metabolism has tanked after a year and a half. I don't know what I can do about that, really. I've been thinking about Intermittent Fasting but with my work/run schedule that's going to make things difficult. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

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Advice about staying on track through a a rough period

I've been having a really difficult time staying on track so far this year. Over the course of last year I lost 90 pounds and for the most part it seemed very easy to resist the temptation to overeat. I did have several days last year in which I over ate but those were few and far between. For the past few weeks I've been overeating at least every other day. I'm not binging on the worst things ever and I probably haven't even gone over my TDEE more than a couple times, but I don't know why it is so difficult for me to resist the temptations nowadays. I had time goals set for my weight that I will definitely not be hitting now. I acknowledge that this is a high-stress time in my life and that's probably a contributing factor but I just really want to get back in control. Dealing with the mental repercussions of overeating this way is really beginning to take a toll on me and I would appreciate any advice if any of you all have experienced this kind of lapse and setback throughout your weight loss journey. Even though I've lost 90 pounds, I still have at least 60 more to lose and that just seems so daunting and unattainable now.

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