I'm Afraid my Friend is Beginning to Resent Me Because I Won't Shut Up About Weight Loss

I’m on this subreddit a lot, but this is a throwaway out of respect of my friend’s privacy.

I have known R for 13 years, but we never really got close until about a year ago. I started losing weight last November, but I never talked about it much with her, or with anyone, for that matter. I just wasn’t comfortable enough yet to talk about it enough that people would know, I was afraid I would jinx myself or something. However, now that I have lost a little over 40lbs, I have a lot more confidence and I am not afraid to talk about my weight loss and whatever healthy (literal or nonliteral) steps I take to achieve that. In fact, I probably talk about it too much–but with R I think it’s different. I don’t think she’s just annoyed, I think she’s beginning to resent me.

R and I have a mutual friend whom we visit often. During these visits, there are a lot of unhealthy food options, but this mutual friend often keeps fruit around for me (because she’s a sweetheart)--though sometimes I do indulge in some unhealthy food. If I talk about only eating a little bit of food, NO MATTER WHAT, R snaps at me and says I have an eating disorder. When I try to explain to her that I don't have one, she tells me that she was just joking and that I am too serious. Sometimes she pressures me into eating more because I feel guilty that I am not eating "enough".

R has mentioned that she has an eating disorder, but had never specified what eating disorder and is usually very quiet about it. She said that she doesn’t think that it’s necessary for people to know about it, that it wasn’t a big deal, which I just went with.

I have a BMI of 29 and R has a BMI of 48. I know this because there is a scale at our mutual’s house. I weighed myself privately, then our mutual got curious–and then my heart dropped as I saw R get on the scale too. A few days later, she told us that she relapsed–and said that she was diagnosed with bulimia years ago but she didn’t agree with the diagnosis–that she only makes herself throw-up “sometimes”.

Today a skinny friend of ours said that he was trying to lose weight. I admit that I didn’t know how to respond, as I didn’t know why he needed to lose weight–but that’s the thing, I DON’T know why, so I respected his personal choice regardless. R texted me privately and said that she “hated skinny people” and that she was going to mute discord, whereas I told this skinny friend about my weight loss so far in an attempt to be supportive.

In the end, I sit here and reflect–and I think that I have been extremely insensitive to my friend. It’s really hard not to talk about what’s going on in my life, but I can hold my tongue if necessary–and I just keep on talking about food and weight in front of a friend who hates that kind of talk. I guess I’m making this post just to see what other reddit users think about this situation, and if you guys have any advice.

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I broke the binge-restrict cycle!

5'10, SW:240 CW: 235

TW: ED

I gained 100 lbs in bulimia recovery, and I have been trying to lose weight for two years, with no success. I know exactly what I was doing wrong the first 10 times, and made a vow to be kinder with myself this time around.

I suffer from thinking about things in black and white— in my previous attempts at weight loss, having a maintenance day would be an excuse for me to binge for an entire week. My old self would have given up by now, because every single one of my previous weight loss attempts followed the same formula. I would starve myself and kill myself with cardio. I would lose about 10 lbs in a week or two, then binge, gain it all back and give up.

I officially started my journey about three weeks ago, but I made the mistake of not weighing myself on the first week. However, on June 17th I weighed in at 240 lbs, I could have weighed more before.

I have a new outlook now and a new mentality. I eat about 1,900 calories (-400 below my maintenance), where as before I would try to eat 1,600. I also go to the gym and weight train 3x a week and do cardio twice a week.

Long story short, this week I had a lot of plans with friends. I ended up drinking a lot of alcohol, having fast food almost every day, and I had two mini-binges. I also didn't go to the gym because I pulled a muscle in my calf, but I was walking quite a bit.

However, this time around instead of feeling defeated and throwing my progress to the wind, I counted calories 5/7 days of the week, even if I didn't like the number I was seeing. I ate around my maintenance and some days I was on a deficit. I still ended up losing a pound!

I've finally broken the restrict-binge cycle, and I'm still seeing progress on days that I'm eating at maintenance! I can't tell you guys how excited I am, because like I said the old me would have given up by now. She would have had a few 4,000 calorie binge days and gained back all the weight.

I feel unstoppable, I feel like I'm even more committed than before to sticking this out. Even if there are some weeks where all I'm doing is maintaining my weight, it doesn't feel like a set back anymore. It feels like self care.

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I have no jeans to wear and I love it!!!

I started my weight loss at 235lbs, 5’4” 58 female. I’m now still 5’4” but 61 and 168lbs!

I have nothing to wear, all my jeans are too big, yoga pants too long and sweat pants just slide off me. My tops engulf me, my knickers bag around my bum and my bras gape at the top, I could not be happier.

Not stopping yet, my goal is 150.

I didn’t start actively CICO until August 2021. It’s the first time I’ve ever made an effort to lose weight. I’ve been slim most of my life but age and menopause caught up.

I’ve had both knees replaced. Prior to that I was in a lot of pain all the time. Just sat around and drank too much.

I’m going to buy some new jeans today and couple of tops.

This isn’t the best day of my life but it’s really up there!!

Keep on keeping in people ❤️

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Milestones are a funny thing

I (30/F/5’7) have lost and gained the same 60 pounds my whole life, depending on how depressed I was at the time.

I thought I lost it for the last time in 2019 after ending a bad relationship… then 2020, new bad relationship, pregnancy, and then COVID, I gained it all back and then some.

In 2014 (in a skinny mode I thought would be permanent) I had a breast reduction, which was one of the best decisions I ever made. My breasts have always been disproportionately large and hurt my back.

I discovered my love of the gym in 2018 which helped my weight loss, so I got extra fucked over when Covid shut all the gyms and broke all the good habits I had built. I ballooned up to 215 (a new high) and lost all my muscle gains.

2022 brought new jobs, ending my bad relationship, and a wonderful rediscovery as my identity as a single woman. I have been happier now than I have possibly ever been. I’ve been working out since March, and have gone from a size 16, to size 10/12. My scale has been plateuing at 202 pounds for the past 6 weeks, which is incredibly frustrating because I’m stuck sooo close to a milestone number. I’m pretty sure it’s because I lift weights pretty hard, my single leg press weight is 240, so I think I have probably lost more than 20 lbs of fat and put on quite a bit of muscle as I continue to lift heavier and heavier. But of course I care about the number. Not just for the mental morale boost, but because I am eager for my frame to carry less weight, my feet (high arches), really hurt when I walk barefoot, and I want less pressure on my knees so that I can run outdoors without worrying about impact stress on my joints. So it’s a little frustrating. Instead I am making efforts to notice other markers of weight loss and gainz to keep my motivation up. Earlier in the week I noticed that my lower half is shaping up nicely, but more importantly this morning, I realized that half of the bras I bought when I hit 215 are too big!!! I am so glad because obviously it’s less weight on my back and gravity is nobodies friend, so it’s such a releif physically seeing the difference and fitting back into some of my skinny clothes. I know that if I wasn’t paying attention these things would be easy to miss and I could despair at ‘lack of progress’, so I hope others take note of this hopefully know what other things to look out for. Really excited to continue on my journey, and I know that breaking the 200 number is just around the corner anyway!

Anyway just wanted to share my good news!

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Realistically, can I lose 50 lbs without tracking calories?

I (21F, 5’7”, 200 lb) want to lose 50lb in the next 6-8 months, but I struggle with tracking on MyFitnessPal.

I typically track breakfast in my head, but by the time lunch (leftovers) and dinner (my parents’ cooking) roll around, I’ve lost control of the total. I’m not interested in weighing my food and becoming obsessive about it, but I think, “if I can’t measure every calorie exactly, why bother trying?”

I lost 30 lbs from Sept-April without tracking, but I tend to eat less and get more exercise when I’m away from home.

Any advise for weight loss without tracking calories? Especially when you fall into your teenage, lazy mindset while at home?

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Time to recommit (35M)

Back in 2020 I lost 55 pounds. I went from 305 to 250. It was the best I had felt since my college years and I was starting to get attention from a lot of people complimenting my weight loss.

In 2021 I gained 30 of it back and I’ve been sitting at 280 for almost a year now. It was a rough year for me emotionally and filled with depressive episodes and life altering events. I was ashamed of myself for letting my weight get out of control again.

A couple months ago I met a woman and things were going well at first. Eventually we had sex, and in the moment I could tell that she was uncomfortable with my “roundness”. I’ll admit she was a little out of my league and soon after that she started becoming disinterested. It wasn’t long until she gave me the “it’s not you, it’s me” schpeel and a couple weeks later she was all over social media with a dude that pretty much looks like Thor.

This time I didn’t get depressed. I got angry and began focusing on putting my health first. I know it seems wrong to want to lose weight due to being rejected, but mentally I can’t deal with that shit. Ultimately I’m doing this for my health and not a woman, but this needs to be one less excuse for someone not seeing my full potential. I’m sick of the rejection because I’m fat.

These past couple weeks I’ve been eating clean and I’m back in the gym. I’m already back down to 270 and I’m not stopping this time.

Fuck being fat.

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Negativity on Weight Loss Journey

Over the last few weeks my mother has made comments regarding my being over weight. She comments on the nature of my workouts and me not losing weight. She literally keeps telling me to go to a doctor because something’s wrong. Well I had it last night when she told me that I need to keep myself presentable. She also insinuated my husbands going to start being interested in other people if I don’t get it together. It’s like knocking someone when they are down. Why? It was just so hurtful to me. I’m trying daily and this doesn’t help. How did you deal with the negativity? Please give me tips because I’m still upset.

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