What weight loss goals should I set?

Week 1 I went from 212 to 209.2 and this week I weighed myself and I went from 209.2 to 208.4. I am 5'3. I go to the gym three days a week for 35 minutes and my goal is to work up to an hour three days a week.

I am on metformin and topiramate for my weight loss and PCOS but I am not counting calories because I am recovering from an eating disorder and counting calories is incredibly trigging for me. My doctor and my dietician both doesn't want me weighing myself so they won't give me a weight loss goal but I want to know what I should set as a weight loss goal as a former anorexic and bulimic who really fucked herself up from previous eating disorders and is trying to lose weight healthily the first time since I was 12.

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Anyone else struggling with body dysmorphia after weight loss?

Hi guys! I saw another post in here that reminded me that this is probably a good and safe place to discuss these thoughts and feelings I have been having. I don’t really know anyone in really life to talk to who understands. They either haven’t had weight issues in their lives, never lost the weight or felt extremely confident when they did. I always thought I’d be the latter. I tell my whole story in hopes it connects with someone and maybe it’s part of why I’m feelings this way. My weight loss journey hasn’t been what I always expect it would be if it did happen in my life.

Last year, I started at a high weight of 332 lbs I am 5 ft 8 in tall. This made me around a size 20 personally. I lost 36 lbs in an effort to improve fertility over a couple of months. I then lost another 30 lbs pretty quickly from the side effects of some mental health medications I was put on after 3 rounds of infertility treatments left me suicidal. Then at 270 lbs I became pregnant once we finally weren’t even trying anymore (funny how that works).

This was my second pregnancy. In my first, 3 years earlier I lost weight from excessive, uncontrollable nausea all 9 months and then gained it back after. This time I went from 270 down to 222 while pregnant. The worst part is I felt terrible and literally couldn’t keep food down and because of my weight loss I was being praised even by most doctors.

I lost over 100 lbs and went from a 3xl+ to an xl. There are some things I can see are different in the mirror but overall I feel like I look the same. I still feel like as big of a person as I did before I started and I can’t online shop because I cannot trust ordering an XL. I have more control over my health now even though I’m actually newly pregnant for the third time so I’m trying hard to NOT actively lose more weight. But I thought the fact that I’m exercising and eating better by choice would help me register this weight loss in a more positive way but I feel so negatively about it still.

I don’t want to feel so conflicted over all of this but I’m not sure where to turn next. Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.

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One week in, 2.2 pounds down.

SW: 300.2 CW: 298 GW: 170

Last week I finally had enough and decided to make a change. After going to therapy to learn new skills on how to navigate through emotions, I felt like it’s time to take a crack at this weight loss journey again.

In the past 7 days I counted my calories, ate clean, and exercised.

I feel so much better and had more energy to play with my 14 month old daughter.

I know it’s just the beginning, but I feel really strong about this go around.

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If you didn't police them when they were gaining the weight, don't police them when they try to lose the weight.

This seems to be a recurring theme: "Help! My obese friend is losing weight and I think it might be too fast!"

When they were eating enough to gain and maintain that weight did you feel compelled to play armchair dietitian?

Were you running around posting about how you're worried they'll pick up an ED even though BED is the strongly correlated to obesity?

Were you worried about the health risks of the weight the same way you're worried about the health risks of their weight loss?

Were you worried about the low energy and mood issues from excess food intake the same way you're worried it now with their reduced food intake?

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If you did, congratulations, you're in a minority and a very open friend. Most people will say "No. I'm not a doctor and/or I didn't feel it was my place". And there's two common excuses for why they feel differently for weight loss:

"Well it's not sustainable! they'll just gain it back and then some!!!" — Regardless of method, a lot people will regain some weight after weight loss at some point. It sucks to hear that, but if there's anything that the many studies on long term weight loss have shown, it's that you need to confront the reality that there's a chance you will regain some of your weight lost, and need to try again, to keep your weight off.

A lot of us have gone through that cycle, and probably realize each time you either get a little closer to lasting transformation or you don't. If your friend is acting like you're killing yourself by dealing with the medical condition that's killing you, what are the odds that you'll be able to build up the mental capacity to keep trying it?

If all you get out of a weight loss attempt is negative feedback from those around you, and the scale rebounds, what's left to drive you for next time?

"I'm worried they're going to hurt themselves!!!" — The number one risk the CDC lists for obesity is "mortality". It increases your risk of death so drastically they need to use an umbrella term for "all causes of death".

The number one risk the CDC lists for malnutrition? Obesity. Followed by Type 2 Diabetes and Cancer, just like obesity itself.

If you draw a Venn Diagram of the risks of malnutrition and obesity, you practically get a circle. So your friend who's been eating to maintain hundreds of pounds of excess weight, has been taking the same risks you're suddenly concerned about. If anything the sudden change in diet, regardless of if it's sustainable, is a break for the stressors their body has been dealing with from excess food intake.

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Seriously, not all of us here are losing weight to get a killer beach bod. When someone posts about their friend losing double digit pounds in a few months, I guess maybe there is a chance that this is a 140 lb person who just lost 40 lbs in two months and is about to be admitted to the ER... but it almost always seems like they're just dealing with obesity or morbid obesity.

And the reality is, obesity is not "some" excess weight. Those of us struggling with it are not going to have the same outcomes that a study on "overweight" people shares. We're past the point where you can argue maybe BMI is just a bad measure of body comp. There's less room for "it's just poor body image, you're actually fine". And that's why while you'll find 100s studies implying crash diets don't work... but if you look at obesity specifically, the most recurring treatments with results are "unsustainable" things like LCDs and VLCDs (https://www.nature.com/articles/0800355 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3442323/).

The strategies that lose the weight and the strategies that keeps the weight off are not likely to be the same thing for us, and for that reason "drastic" diets like VLCDs do much better for long term weight loss than more moderate diets: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11684524/

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At the end of the day the best thing you can do for your friend is be there for them no matter which way things go, and if you're really worried about their health, focus on specific symptoms and not their general actions.

Don't say "you need to eat more" because you didn't see them eat or they seem hungry, at most point them to a doctor if they happen to share a specific problem with you. Sometimes this process going to just feel like crap, and sharing that fact doesn't mean they're dying or they need you to stop them. Sometimes they just need emotional support.

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What are your best tried and true go-to weight loss meals that anyone can enjoy?

Heading grocery shopping and making my weekly list. I’m creatively burned out in the kitchen and need some ideas!

My go-to recipes that I normally cook are taco soup/chili, Thai chicken curry, lentil soup, split peas, buffalo chicken combinations, spiral used zucchini spaghetti, spaghetti squash, veggie fried rice with egg. These are the kinds of recipes where I feel that you don’t need to be on a diet to enjoy but they are healthy and low calorie enough without toppings/etc that one can eat it to lose weight due to its filling and satisfying nature.

What are some of these kinds of staple meals that you cook?

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I like being invisible

I’m not sure if this is the right sub but I thought there’d be good insight from you guys.

I like being “invisible”. No attention from the opposite sex, no pressure to continue conversations that I don’t want, and so forth. Peoples eyes just slide right past me most of the time. I like it, it feels safe and comfortable.

As an introvert, I find chit chat exhausting. Also, I’m a labor and delivery nurse and there is a lot of small talk with patients and coworkers. There is a certain level of expectations of how to interact with patients. Very positive and bubbly. It’s fine and I put on my “face” but I think being fat, it’s not expected to keep it up. My jokes fall flat or conversations fade quickly. And before you know it, I get the relief of saying “ok, call if you need anything!”. Also, my coworkers don’t seek me out and if I’m quietly charting, they leave me alone.

I say this as someone who was fat, lost a bunch of weight (80 lbs on my 5’2” frame) and saw the change in peoples behaviors. People were overly nice. I got good deals and service (eg at the auto repair shop but I just assumed it was good place). I remember the first time a provider’s eyes lingered on me too long… so icky. People went out of their way to help me. I got compliments from new coworkers who never knew my weight loss history and older coworkers were falling over themselves to tell me how good I looked now. It made me so uncomfortable and embarrassed. And I’m not trying to brag about looks or anything... At my lowest, I was still technically overweight and average looking.

Then I gained all the weight back through the pandemic and a breakup. The guy at the car repair shop wasn’t friendly and he did a way worse job and offered less services. The same provider stopped talking to me unless I called about a patient. Coworkers stopped reaching out to get together. It’s actually made me resent people for treating overweight people differently which in turns makes me want even less to do with others. If I could live in a mountain cottage and enjoy a life of solitude, it would be ideal lol.

I just transferred jobs and have been used to being invisible. People knew me and knew what to expect out of me. But at my new job, my reputation for being a hard working nurse has followed me and so when people who know me introduce me, they say “this is lush_lavendar, she’s so amazing at x, y, z and we’re so lucky to have her”. It’s honestly embarrassing and I hate it. I’d rather show my work ethic through my actions. It’s happened a handful of times and it’s really shed light on how much I hate attention and how being overweight/obese has helped keep me in my comfort zone.

But I’m in 30s and I don’t like how my knees and hips ache at the end of the day now. Or that I’m at a significant risk for high blood pressure, diabetes or other chronic conditions. I want to lose weight to be healthy and age comfortably.

But if I shed my “safety blanket”, how can I deal with vulnerability that comes with being seen? Any insights, tips or advice from others that have been in the same position?

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Thoughts on CICO and body fat?

F31, 5ft4, SW: 170, GW: 140.

Hi all,

Restarting my weight loss journey for the 16363926252th time.

I was always slim and light until I hit about 22 and then life got in the way and I put on weight. Then in 2017, I lost a lot of weight and felt (and looked) great. I then got a new job and put on around 36 pounds. Since then I have desperately tried to lose those 36 pounds and failed every step of the way.

Today I was looking back through MFP from 2017 for inspo and noticed that the “lots” of weight was actually only 17lb! I averaged about 4.5lb a month! I do have more to lose now (30lb) but what was startlingly different was the fact I had a much much lower body fat %.

So, ramblings aside, my question is how do I lower my body fat %? It’s currently over 36% and ideally I want it to be around 25 or lower.

Is CICO the answer? I’m doing that anyway, but is there something specific I should be doing?

Thanks guys!

(I know the scales are inaccurate but I know I’m fat just by looking at myself!).

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