Saturday, December 31, 2022

I have utterly failed

I'm 35M, 5'8" tall. My starting weight was 172, just a bit into the overweight range. Tomorrow morning I leave for a trip to the Bahamas. Two months ago I decided to set myself a goal of losing ~10 lbs to trim a little off my gut for the beach. I've been wanting to lose this weight for a while now but I felt like this deadline would be a good motivator, rather than doing something like starting on new year's with a vague deadline-free future.

I set myself a 750 cal deficit. For six weeks, I logged everything in Cronometer. I weighed everything on a food scale where applicable. I went to the gym about four times per week. The weight started to come off slowly. Not 1.5 lbs per week like I hoped, but about 1 lb. I got down to around 167 lbs, so 5 lost. Not great, but making progress.

Then my dad died.

I know, I know, it's okay to stumble after a major event like that and I can't expect to stay completely focused. But in the span of the following single week, I gained all of it back. And not like "I had more food in my system so it seemed like more", but "the following weeks have shown that it stuck". So one of two things happened: either 1. my initial weight loss wasn't real, and it was just having less mass in my GI tract, and somehow all my careful logging was for naught, or 2. in that last week, I ate 4000 Cals per day, every day, to gain it back. I didn't even feel like I was binging. I was just eating normally and not bothering to care about my goals.

So then I thought "okay, well I have two more weeks before the trip to lose a bit again". As of this morning, my total weight loss is... drumroll... zero. Absoutely zero. I'm exactly where I started. The entire past ten weeks of being hungry, careful logging, weighing, working out, all a total waste of my time. And this isn't the first time this has happened.

It's extremely frustrating to feel like my body wants to be this weight, where if I don't actively fight against it for the rest of my life, I'll always weigh this much. Worse, the "anchor weight" that I reset to keeps gradually increasing. Ten years ago, I weighed 152! And that was without dieting or working out, I just at less, naturally. I even managed to get into the 140s for my wedding. Then a few years later it was 156. Then 164. Then 168. Now it's 172. Every time I lose a bit, I eventually lose track of focusing on my weight to get back to the rest of my life, and I spring right back to where I started in less than half the time it took me to lose it.

Sorry for the wall of text.

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The scale says I haven’t lost weight but my clothing says otherwise

I’ve recently begun new workout routines after I had fallen off the wagon pretty hard due to a bout of depression. I’ve been back to the gym at least 4 times a week for the last two months and have seen a difference in my calorie burning as well as endurance.

I’ve felt great with the new weights and changes to my routines but when I checked the scale after all these weeks, it says that I’m 225 lbs when my body feels like it should be less than that. I don’t know if it’s toning or change in muscle mass but my jeans feel looser and so do the sleeves on most of my shirts.

I want to get my weight down to 110-140 because readings show that that weight range is appropriate for a woman my height but I am also a curvy body type with a long torso so maybe the reading might be off? I don’t know.

I’m trying to make myself healthier and prevent obesity as it runs in my family but seeing that stupid number on the scale after what I’ve done just makes me feel worse. I could use some advice on how to not feel down on myself or what else I could do to keep moving forward in my weight loss journey.

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Arm weights

I am beginning my weight loss journey. I have a couple areas I really want to focus on and those are my face, my stomach, and my arms. I was wondering if you can do anything to help loose weight in your arms such as wearing arm weights while exercising? Do these actually help or do nothing? Also would they make you bulky? Lastly, is cardio to best workout to burn fat? Should I focus on burning fat before I move on to lifting weights or does it not matter? And please give me any other tips for a good gym routine because I am very new to this :)

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Friday, December 30, 2022

I got a fit bit!!

I am so excited because I decided to get a Fitbit today. I am a teacher (I teach kindergarten) and received a bunch of gift cards to Target and decided to buy a Fitbit luxe. I do have a few questions if you have one as well.

  • In your experience is the calories burned pretty accurate compared to your CICO and weight loss?

  • Are there any things you wished you knew when you first got it?

  • Is Fitbit premium worth it?

I use the Lose it app and I have already connected my Fitbit to it. I am not sure how many in this community have a Fitbit so I’d love to hear your thoughts!! Also just a little side note. It’s Winter break right now, but I can’t wait to see how many steps I take in a day when I get back to school!

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Statistics and a retrospective on a 14 month health journey after making it to One-derland

I realized back in November that I had a chance at breaking into the 100s if I had a good December. On my last scheduled weigh-in of the year, I made it. I don't remember when is the last time my weight started with a one. It must have been middle school, before I was even 13 years old.

Started this process back in late October 2021 to improve my health. M31, 6'2", 344 lb -> 199.6 lb. Thought it would be interesting to look back through my Apple Health and see by what other metrics I've improved.

Blood Pressure

On November 5th, 2021, my blood pressure was 129/91. This was after a week on 5mg of Amlodipine, so it was even higher a couple weeks earlier but I don't have those numbers. Nov 5th was my first day on 10mg of Amlodipine. I was 30 years old and needed blood pressure pills.

Today I'm at 95/63 and have been off the Amlo for about two months now. This doesn't show all 14 months, but I like to look at the descending chart. Looks like success.

Resting Heart Rate

On November 5th, 2021, my resting heart rate (averaged over several readings throughout the day) read 84 BPM.

I was having sporadic left-side chest pains back in 2020 and 2021. Knowing how fat I was carried with it a constant cardiac health paranoia which couldn't have made the situation any better. I never found out if it was acid reflux or heart palpitations, but any chest pain is scary. I event went to an ER once to get an EKG--the cardiologist said the results looked like I was "nervous during the test" and left it at that which to this day kind of freaks me out.

Anyway, 144 pounds later my resting heart rate reads 67 BPM. I haven't had that familiar pang of chest pain in months.

Diet

I don't have calorie stats for "the before-times," but I have something much more embarrassing. How about a whole month's credit card statement for Postmates and other fast food? Yikes. I was too fat to even bother driving to the fast food myself.

Back in September 2021, a day's worth of food might look like this:

  • Coffee with 1 cream and two sugars
  • One of these Toast Chee peanut butter cracker things
  • 1 Quarter Pounder, 1 Fish Fillet, and a 10 Piece Nugget
  • 1 can of Diet Coke
  • 1 bag of Smartfood White Cheddar popcorn
  • A whole box of dirty rice with some Polish sausage thrown in
  • Half a sleeve of Chips Ahoy with a glass of milk

Total calories: who the fuck knows

Since starting my weight loss I've held to 1300-1500 cals per day. I average around 1400. I started meal-prepping every week, combined with a meal delivery service so I wouldn't have to cook for both meals every day.

Yesterday, I ate:

  • Coffee with zero-sugar oat milk and Splenda
  • A slice of sprouted grain bread with a tablespoon of Nuttzo mixed nut butter
  • A plate of The Good Kitchen's Venison Meatloaf with Broccoli and Squash (shout out to this meal service, they're expensive but worth it)
  • 1 soft-boiled egg
  • 2 tablespoons of Hummus
  • 1 mug of Vanilla Chai tea with a splash of zero-sugar oat milk
  • 1 1-pound bowl of Lentils and smoked pork stew
  • 1 banana
  • 1 mug of unsweetened hot chocolate + splenda

Total calories: 1355

If I've learned anything through this process it's really how to balance a diet correctly. There was a lot to learn, and a lot of places to learn from. My palate expanded drastically--I used to not eat basically any vegetables, now I'll eat almost any cooked vegetable you can put in front of me. I still have trouble with raw leafy greens, but baby steps.

Special shout-out to J Kenj Lopez Alt's youtube channel. I learned a lot about being comfortable with cooking from his videos, and I adapted a few of his recipes for my mealpreps. More important than recipes is learning how to make home cooking a simple and stress-free process and his videos are fantastic for that.

Don't want this to sound like an ad, but I took a chance on The Good Kitchen's delivered meal service and I've been a very happy customer for over a year. Cooking for 14 meals a week is daunting, but cooking 7 meals a week and supplementing with a meal service is a lot more manageable. Their food is very tasty, very convenient, and very healthy. Also very expensive, but I decided that I would pay anything to reach a healthy weight and that my health should be a priority in all things, even financially.

Cholesterol and More

For these, the screenshots tell the tale. In every way I could get better, I got better.

My doctors told me for years that I had borderline high cholesterol. My non-HDL is down almost 20 points.

I was never officially pre-diabetic but still, my glucose is down 60%. I think I didn't fast for the first reading which is why it's so high, but whatever, reductions like that are still nice to see.

Triglycerides are way down from High Range to Normal

So anyway

Yeah. This journey's not over. Despite all I've lost already I never quite nailed down an exact goal weight--I was always operating with a general "lose weight" mentality, not a "get to X pounds" mentality. I suppose around 180lb might be the start of maintenance.

Outside of weight-loss, I have a dire need to start exercising. I lost all this weight through diet but I should really start doing some cardio for circulatory health and eventually weight training for definition. That will be the next great challenge--to maintain weight through the extra hunger that exercise can cause. But I'll get there. I've learned and done too much already to go back now.

Here's to 2023.

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Balanced on the edge of a knife

I get this overwhelming feeling that hitting my goals is both impossible and inevitable. It feels like a damn about to burst. The destruction of the flood will wash away disbelief, self-sabotage, and guilt. It leaves hope, good habits, and a healthy substantial change in my intrinsic motivation.

I have lost about 95 lbs, and the next 15 lbs will bring me under 200 lbs, over 100 lbs lost, and then reaching my benchmark loss of 110 lbs lost. I reached that goal in 2018 and then gained back 45 lbs. I'm so close to this mark. Once reached, it's all new territory. And I am looking forward to walking in the wild and experiencing new goals again!

I am a goal setter and achiever. I love the personal sense of fulfilment I get from reaching a goal. Most of my goals are non scale goals. Reaching this crux has brought up a lot of insecurities around the number on the scale again and I'm really struggling through the emotional swamp left after the last flood.

So, I'm starting off the year with similar benchmarks and a new scale for success. No more scale goals as my primary focus. I enjoy fitness and enjoy meal planning and mostly struggle with dessert calories and frustration induced snacking.

1

Physical - Consistency: Maintain a fitness routine all year Eat in a deficit until weight loss goal reached

2

Spiritual - Into the Wild: Explore and adventure more often with Rosie! (My corgi/heeler, see my profile for posts with pics), camping, hiking, drive to walk different parks as it gets nicer, beach or mountain trips, family visits, puppy play dates!

3

Mental - Learn a lot of new things: Start a physical hobby, like maybe Kali or kickboxing Learn to code, database work brings me peace. Work on social skills and rebuilding friendships.

Anyone else like to separate types of goals or their focus from the scale?

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Thursday, December 29, 2022

favorite gadgets for your weight-loss journey

I'm guessing I'm not the only one who got cash or gift cards for the holidays...so I thought we could crowd-source a little list in the comments of our favorite/most useful tools we've purchased to help us on our mission! If you recommend a particular brand/model feel free to include links. ☺️ Of course, money can't buy you weight loss, but it can make things a little easier or more fun.

I'll start:

Obviously I have a food scale on the way.
Also ordered a few kitchen staples (magnetic measuring spoons, rubber spatula, tongs, etc) to replace old worn out items so cooking is less frustrating.
I've had it for a while, but I absolutely love my Garmin watch (primarily got it for hiking but wear all the time to track steps and sleep).

Your turn!

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