Hey guys I’m worried about my mom, I’d like some advice

Hello everyone so lately there’s been some things I’m concerned about with my mom, I hope this is the right place to ask, if not I’ll take this down. I need some insight on this situation from people who have experienced similar things (I’m not trying to ask for medical advice, hopefully this doesn’t count lol)

So for about a year now my mom has been struggling with an injured back, it’s so bad that she can’t even leave the house anymore. She has to be in the bath 90% of the day, she can’t walk longer than 15 seconds and she can’t sit. It’s been happening for a whole year and it hasn’t improved, if not gotten worse.

Thankfully yesterday we were able to get some more help from our local hospital and figure some things out. This morning we had an on call appointment with our doctor and he said the same thing that four other doctors we went to said. He wanted her to lose weight and wanted to get her to a dietitian. I think last time she went to a doctor she was around 250 pounds, not sure how accurate that number is now.

This topic is really difficult for my mom because she’s had a terrible and unhealthy history with yo-yo dieting. When she was a teen her mom body shamed her constantly. Because of this, my mom is anti-weight loss and believes that people are healthy at any weight, and she taught me those things, so at first I completely believed the medical industry was corrupt.

But I learned some new information and I started my weight loss journey secretly (only my brother knows) in January and I’ve lost ten pounds (yay!). It made me realize that these doctors could be right. The main issue is her SI joints (in the hips I believe) so I feel like it’s possible the weight is putting pressure on them, which could be why she gets inflammation all the time and can’t heal very well.

So I’m wondering if I should talk to her about it. Ive heard on this subreddit that doctors aren’t well trained in weight loss but he referred her to a dietitian so idk. When we went to the hospital yesterday they explained ways to strengthen her muscles, so I’m not sure if it would be necessary to say anything. Would losing weight help her at all? I’m worried about her and she’s had to sacrifice so many of the things she wants to do because she can’t move. I’m nervous too because I don’t want to trigger anything. I feel like I could help (even though I’m not licensed in anything) and I also feel like she’s at a disadvantage here because she doesn’t have trust in the medical world, which is very understandable for her history.

I love my mom so much and l want her to be happy, it’s been a really rough year for her. Is there anything I could do or any way I could talk to her about it? She seems to be okay with at least talking to a dietitian so maybe I could do something. I’m thinking of telling her my journey so far and explaining how I try to lose weight in a healthy way, and how she could possibly benefit. And maybe I could also tell her about the issues with the ideas of the HAES movement (if anyone has any reliable and science backed articles that would be great!) I’m not trying to change her, it’s her choice what she does with her body, I only want to see if I can help her heal. I just don’t want to do anything stupid that could upset or harm her. It would be so great to see her doing all the projects she wants to do and to be able to spend time with her.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you for reading!

TLDR: my mom has some serious back issues and several doctors have said she needs to lose weight, but she’s anti weight loss thanks to a bad history of yo-yo dieting. I started my journey in January and I’m wondering if there’s any way I can help her, because it’s possible she could heal better if she lost some of the weight

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My sister is 330lbs, after 3 weeks on 1000-1200 calories. Weighed in, and she just feels defeated.

My sister is 30, and 330lbs, out of frustration with her weight came to live with me to test if there was something wrong with her ability to lose weight, she put herself on a strict very low calorie diet, never going above 1200 cals.

The way she controlled it was to eat things like yoghurt that come in set amounts so she couldn't add anything or have too much. I bought all her meals, I live far from the stores, and she doesn't drive so couldn't have snuck extra food.

I walked with her and made sure she got 10,000 steps a day. After the first 2 weeks she had lost 7lbs. She was pleased, but also thought it would have been a bit more being 300lbs+

Its week 3 and she weighed in today, and she's back up 7lbs. We both don't get it. She's now very disheartened and incredibly frustrated.

I have tried to help her and think of ways to why her weight has gone back up.

Sorry if TMI, She's on the first day of her period. So I thought maybe water retention? She also started to add weight lifting I to her weight loss plan this week, so maybe rention from that too? And the last thing I can think of is that she had alcohol last night to a family event. Nothing crazy, just 2 drinks of single measure straight spirits with 0 cal mixer. So water retention there?

Would any of this account for the sudden gain when working hard?

Would love your help. She's so crushed, I dont want this to stop her. I want to see her live a happy life, and being stuck at this weight after trying so hard has been a huge blow.

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Getting back on the ‘bandwagon’ after regaining (almost) everything I lost….

Hi all. Not sure if I’m looking for advice here or just venting to get everything out in the open but I’m officially back on the ‘bandwagon’ today after being in a weight gain haze since last January.

At the beginning of 2021 I decided to change my life. After being obese my entire life I decided I’d had enough. In that year I managed to go from 280lbs to 154lbs through CICO and exercise, all in a very healthy way. I’d never been happier. I could walk into any shop and pick anything off the rack. I was as physically active as anyone I’d ever known, leaving the house at 6am on a daily basis and not coming back until 9pm after a day packed with a gym session, 15k steps, work, university, bike rides, etc. I decided to treat myself to a day off of CICO in mid december for my birthday. Well that day turned into a year and 4 months.

Since then I’ve gained back 108 of the 126lbs I’ve lost, spent thousands of pounds on takeaway and snacks, don’t fit into any of the clothes I bought after my weight loss and am depressed as fuck. I feel embarrassed and ashamed.

My family and friends keep alluding to my weight gain and it makes me feel worse than I already do because the fact that people have recognised I’m ‘back to my old ways’ is unbelievably embarrassing.

I had a wake up call this morning after sitting in bed and pondering on whether I should eat the lemon tart I didn’t manage to last night and to start my ‘diet’ tomorrow. But I’ve been starting ‘tomorrow’ for over a year now. l’m sitting writing this from the gym where I’m starting from scratch, finding it difficult to lift weights I would have used for a warmup back in 2021, back coated in sweat from the 15 minute walk here.

I think its harder to lose the weight knowing the person you were mentally and physically when your life didn’t revolve around food. I find myself wanting to give up before I’ve started, throwing in the towel on my elevated heart rate and my time spent weighing every gram of food. But I know this is what I have to do to find the version of myself that I had a small glimpse of over 22 years full of binge eating and exercise avoidance, and I don’t want to lose him.

When I turn around at the end of the year, which will fly by, I want to be thankful I woke up on a random day in April and said ‘fuck this’ to living the same depression filled day as I have for the last year and a half. I guess this post is to convince myself I can do it all over again even if I’m only 2 steps from the starting line.

Good luck to you all.

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Autism & weight loss

Any other autistics out there really struggling with weight loss?

I mean don’t get me wrong, for the most part it’s great. I love the gym now, I feel more confident, my mobility is better. I know my body better than ever, I’m truly enjoying my food choices. My deficit feels fine. The scale is going down.

But for me my biggest autism thing that I struggle with is change. And I’m losing weight, which means my body is constantly changing. And it’s so overwhelming because one day my safe clothing doesn’t fit, another day the way my hips feel has changed… even seeing the scale move freaks me out. I think a lot of people assume autistic people only struggle with bad change but good change can be just as difficult to deal with.

Anyone else dealing with this? Any coping methods? Thanks.

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For those who kept it off, how did you do it and what worked?

It’s been 5 years for me. I’m now at a point where I don’t think about weight loss anymore because the lifestyle changes stuck.

What worked for me was 1) be mindful of what/why I eat 2) meal prep and 3) walking.

42F: 5’2” SW 185 CW 140 GW ?? (From size 14 to size 6) Husband 42M: 5’9” SW 205 CW 135 GW 135 (From L/XL to XS)

I lost 25 lbs back in 2018 through low carb and exercise. My husband started cycling and lost 50lbs. I gained 5lbs back a year later but started CICO to be mindful of what I eat and why I eat. I also started meal prepping because we work long hours. I lost that weight creep and my husband lost another 10lbs.

Then the pandemic happened and I started WFH. Since I was not in the office, there were no snacks, no pizza meetings and I used my lunch break for mental health walks. We both lost another 10lbs without trying.

In 2021 we moved to SoCal because I got tired of the New England cold and SAD. I’m not a big fan of grocery shopping so I signed up for CSA deliveries (Farm Fresh To You) and monthly instacart deliveries for everything else. I still continued with meal preps but this time we ate significantly less meat for health reasons. Maybe 1lb of turkey/chicken at most per week, more plant based proteins. I still do long walks and being mindful of what/why I eat. 2022 I lost another 10lbs without the mental toll of trying. My husband maintained. 2023 Still too early to tell if the weight loss continues.

Edit: For those who are still in their journey, I wish you well. Remember to be kind to yourself and your body.

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I'm Feeling Very Optimistic This Time Around

Hello Peeps! I have my first scale victory in my recent return to my weight loss journey. SW:240 GW: 190, and I just got down to 225 (I'm 5'8"). I haven't seen the 220s in about 7 years. I've been an athlete in some form for the majority of my life, but previously, I always just ate whatever I wanted. As I've gotten older (just turned 30), I've had to change my eating because I gain so quickly, and it feels so hard to get off.

I was skeptical of CICO tracking at first, but it made me realize that I don't need as much food as I think I do. I don't follow CICO super strictly, but it's helped me to visualize what the right servings should be. I've also upped my fruit/vegetable intake, and I workout 4-5 times a week (sports practices included).

Immediate NSV I've noticed so far: Pushing Harder at the gym Better endurance at sports practices (I play roller derby) Looser fitting clothes Changes in my mindset and desires for less nutritious foods Less knee and back pain Chores are Easier Much more energy Posture Changes Got into a size 12 today!

These past two months, I've been seeing the scale go down, but I couldn't physically see the changes. That is, until I went home to my parents who have a full body mirror, and I could see a TOTAL change. I'm so motivated to keep going, and this is just the beginning of my journey. I SO appreciate everyone's posts here; I think that having a community where I don't feel alone has contributed to my success as well. 35 more pounds to go!

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Less Than Ten Pounds From a Normal Weight

F' 5'10 SW: 220 CW: 173 GW: 150ish

I realized this morning that I was less than ten pounds from a normal weight range and I just wanted to share. It's been over a decade since I was in the normal weight range and I'm just a little bit amazed and feeling very reflective.

A couple of years ago I was obese. I hadn't always been I was raised with healthy eating habits and stayed in a normal weight range for my teens and 20s. Heading into my 30s with a sedentary job and a busy lifestyle I began consuming more processed and fast foods, along with caffeinated energy drinks like monster and rock stars. Eventually I was consuming two rock stars a day and 190 pounds.

Here and there I'd focus on my weight for a bit and loose ten pounds but I always regained and worse my weight kept growing due to my sedentary lifestyle and poor diet.

In 2019 I was 220 pounds, tired all the time, my knees hurt, I could barely climb a flight of stairs and I struggled to stand from like a toilet. It was awful.

I knew what needed to be done and after playing around with slim fast for a bit I got serious. I kicked the caffeine, I stopped ordering Doordash, I stopped using uber for any place less than a mile and either walked or walked to the bus. I stopped picking up sweets, cut back drinking alcohol and increased the fruits and veggies, made sure to keep healthy low cal snacks on hand and the weight came off. In fact the first 30 pounds came off almost effortlessly.

It helped that I combined the health goal with a savings goal so I could focus on dollars going into my savings account rather than numbers on a scale.

I started exercising and hit a bit of a plateau with the weight loss. So I decided not to worry about it and just decided to see if I could maintain at 180 pounds. I did! In January of this year I started exercising again. This time with a goal of maintaining a regular exercise habit for a year. So far it's going well. I've been exercising at least 20 minutes daily for 4-5 per week.

In March I started CICO and I've dropped another 7 pounds and well on my way toward my goal weight of 150.

I think what worked for me is that like a lot of people I've experienced how damaging obesity really is and I'm genuinely afraid of how bad my life could get if I hadn't changed my lifestyle. My knees used to hurt so much and I didn't really understand why at first. I can only imagine what my life and mobility would be like heading into middle aged at 220 pounds.

I've also really finally absorbed what a lifestyle change means. It's means forever until the end and it means you take the time no matter what. You make the time to exercise, you make the time write down what you ate, you make the time to cook 90% of your meals at home. And if you work at it, if you make the time it will happen.

Another thing that I think was key for me was kicking the caffeine habit. Besides the insane amount of calories from two rock stars per day, for me at least, I think caffeine really contributed to my sugar cravings and my cravings for sweets in general. Those craving evaporated once I stopped consuming caffeine.

This is a longer posts. I hope it meets community guidelines and shares information that people find helpful.

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