Hello everyone so lately there’s been some things I’m concerned about with my mom, I hope this is the right place to ask, if not I’ll take this down. I need some insight on this situation from people who have experienced similar things (I’m not trying to ask for medical advice, hopefully this doesn’t count lol)
So for about a year now my mom has been struggling with an injured back, it’s so bad that she can’t even leave the house anymore. She has to be in the bath 90% of the day, she can’t walk longer than 15 seconds and she can’t sit. It’s been happening for a whole year and it hasn’t improved, if not gotten worse.
Thankfully yesterday we were able to get some more help from our local hospital and figure some things out. This morning we had an on call appointment with our doctor and he said the same thing that four other doctors we went to said. He wanted her to lose weight and wanted to get her to a dietitian. I think last time she went to a doctor she was around 250 pounds, not sure how accurate that number is now.
This topic is really difficult for my mom because she’s had a terrible and unhealthy history with yo-yo dieting. When she was a teen her mom body shamed her constantly. Because of this, my mom is anti-weight loss and believes that people are healthy at any weight, and she taught me those things, so at first I completely believed the medical industry was corrupt.
But I learned some new information and I started my weight loss journey secretly (only my brother knows) in January and I’ve lost ten pounds (yay!). It made me realize that these doctors could be right. The main issue is her SI joints (in the hips I believe) so I feel like it’s possible the weight is putting pressure on them, which could be why she gets inflammation all the time and can’t heal very well.
So I’m wondering if I should talk to her about it. Ive heard on this subreddit that doctors aren’t well trained in weight loss but he referred her to a dietitian so idk. When we went to the hospital yesterday they explained ways to strengthen her muscles, so I’m not sure if it would be necessary to say anything. Would losing weight help her at all? I’m worried about her and she’s had to sacrifice so many of the things she wants to do because she can’t move. I’m nervous too because I don’t want to trigger anything. I feel like I could help (even though I’m not licensed in anything) and I also feel like she’s at a disadvantage here because she doesn’t have trust in the medical world, which is very understandable for her history.
I love my mom so much and l want her to be happy, it’s been a really rough year for her. Is there anything I could do or any way I could talk to her about it? She seems to be okay with at least talking to a dietitian so maybe I could do something. I’m thinking of telling her my journey so far and explaining how I try to lose weight in a healthy way, and how she could possibly benefit. And maybe I could also tell her about the issues with the ideas of the HAES movement (if anyone has any reliable and science backed articles that would be great!) I’m not trying to change her, it’s her choice what she does with her body, I only want to see if I can help her heal. I just don’t want to do anything stupid that could upset or harm her. It would be so great to see her doing all the projects she wants to do and to be able to spend time with her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you for reading!
TLDR: my mom has some serious back issues and several doctors have said she needs to lose weight, but she’s anti weight loss thanks to a bad history of yo-yo dieting. I started my journey in January and I’m wondering if there’s any way I can help her, because it’s possible she could heal better if she lost some of the weight
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