Hopeless

I don't really know where to start, but I don't think I've ever felt so hopeless. I'm here, at 340lbs (f/38), and utterly lost. Long post ahead... Sorry.

I've been overweight my whole life. Grew up the oldest of 4 girls, single mother, we ate fairly well and couldn't afford take-outs, treat type foods but had them on occasion. Was always bigger than siblings and cousins, despite being a very active and fit child/teen.

I was constantly made aware of my size by family members, constantly put down for being chubbier. I was around 12 when an uncle told me to diet for his wedding. So I started restricting. I went out on my bike every day and rode for miles. I didn't really lean out. I had started developing and covered myself up in baggy clothing. But I then started doing something I never did before and that was binge eating. I would go to my uncles house (nextdoor) and steal money from his change pot and ride my bike to the shop and buy chocolate. I then had a difficult time with dealing with a significant childhood trauma that re-emerged and used food to cope. On the cycle went.

In my 20s I was fairly stable around 200-220lbs, I still binge ate and was technically obese, but I was active and was pretty outgoing. Things got worse in my 30s and the starve/binge cycle became more severe. I got to 365lbs during the pandemic.

I have done CICO, CICO with exercise, slimming world, weight watchers, juicing, vlcd, fasting, IF, keto, low calorie keto... The only time I've ever had consistent weight loss has been vlcd or low cal keto. Nothing else produced sustained losses. I would always feel like I was fighting for every ounce and my body was clinging onto it. When I commit to a plan, I'm all in. So when losses don't represent what I put in, I find it difficult to keep focus. I compare losses to others and it feels utterly hopeless. Unless I take drastic measures, I just can't seem to shift it. But drastic measures are so difficult to sustain.

I'm very frustrated when I hear "just eat less and move more", "it's simple". When it's anything but. It feels like I'm working against my body, every cell screams out that I need food when I'm eating less or exercising. I have bombarding and intrusive thoughts instead of "cravings". I also don't want to take 10 years so get this weight off.

This week, I reached breaking point after another 6 months of trying, and no progress. I've finally decided to speak to my doctor, who I've avoided for years because of the shame of my weight. I have looked into bariatric surgery and therapy, I'm saving up to fund it, but I would like to try and overcome this without needing to take that step.

I don't know what I'm hoping for, posting this. But if anyone has been in my position and has been able to change their situation, please let share with me.

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What delightful, unexpected changes have you experienced from weight loss?

I'm falling out of my routine, so to motivate myself again, I have to remind myself of the positives and what I've accomplished and enjoyed so far with my weight loss.

For me, there are three physical changes:

1.) I have cheek dimples now when I smile. I've always had corner-of-the-mouth dimples, but with my weight loss, cheek dimples have appeared and are becoming more prominent. My mom was the first to notice, and I've found out that some others have experienced this too, which I think is pretty cool.

2.) My boobs are somehow perkier, which is unusual. I believe it's because I'm losing armpit fat, and that has lifted my breasts somehow. I don't know, but there's a general improvement in how my breasts look now.

3.) I lost back fat but kept butt fat, so my butt appears bigger. Initially, I feared the opposite would happen, so it's a pleasant surprise.

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My body's back. Finally returned to "normal me" at last.

I gained so much fat and weight in such a short amount of time after my mild infection summer of 2020.

I was almost bedridden by 2021 because of the random symptoms and tremendous pain my body was cycling through. And even though I never was obese, I was at my heaviest this time last year. I was at my unhealthiest, with the greatest number of symptoms, and the worst I ever felt. And because my body can't move to exercise, the most I can do is diet.

Guys, it worked.

Just with intermittent fasting (18:6) alone, and changing nothing else in my life, I was able to shed like 20 pounds in a few months.

My symptoms started to clear up one by one in time. I'm pretty sure my weight loss helped with that. To the point that I can walk and cycle again, which I started doing so to and from work. I was able to just pocket the bus money too, so that's a nice savings.

The fat continued to melt and I lost about 10% body fat without working out, just my continued fasting and through commuting to work. My body changed and it seems I've lost my visceral fat, which used to be squeezing my organs.

Today, my body is back. No wait, in fact this has got to be the healthiest I've ever been. I have lost more than 60 pounds, I even went beyond my goal weight! So I plan to add a bit more lean body weight of muscle. I've also begun taking green tea, reduced my sodium intake, upped my potassium and magnesium, and been having amazing sleep (probably because of CBD oils). No more chest pains nor palpitations, goodbye sleep apnea, and I can't even remember the last time I felt anxious nor had any panic attacks.

I feel so good. I wish I started this earlier.

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Activity Level and TDEE - i don't understand!!

Hi all

Long story short i'm a short woman (5'2) with PCOS who's already almost 80% through her weight loss. because of my PCOS, i've found that i need to be in a deficit of 600 calories to lose 1.6kg per month. Because i'm short, i cant cut my calories any lower now without negative consequences (i already tried lol) so i'm trying to lose the last 20% by incorporating exercise and movement into my daily life so i can eat a bit more and still lose weight.

Currently i'm walking 5k steps every day (which takes me an hour), and 5 days a week i'm doing 30minutes of exercise (cardio to sustain heart rate above 150bpm for the full 30mins). I've recalculated my TDEE and put my activity level in as 'moderate: exercise 4-5 days a week' which has allowed me to eat 200 more calories than i was before while remaining in a 500-600 calorie deficit (depending on the calculator used).

i now eat 1300 calories per day instead of 1100. eating this little bit more has greatly improved my mental health and mood, however i now always feel a bit hungry and VERY sleepy, which i NEVER experienced at all in my weight loss so far. i've had bloodwork done (unrelated) and everything was fine there.

Am i meant to be eating back some of the calories burned in exercise too? i thought that the increase in TDEE was meant to account for the increased exercise? am i inputting the wrong exercise level? in my opinion the daily hour spent doing 5k steps doesnt count as exercise because it doesnt elevate my heart rate much (my resting bpm is ~80bpm and when i do my 5k steps it only raises to about ~100bpm). so i've only been counting the 30mins cardio 5 days a week as my activity level.

i've lead a very sedentary life for the past 3 years, so i'm lacking perspective. is it normal to just feel sleepy all the time when you're more active? or am i using the wrong activity level? input is welcome!

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weight loss related to constipation and no period?

i usually just lurk on this reddit, which has helped me over the past few months of weight loss. i started out at 187 pounds (i’m a 5’8” 19f for reference), and i’m now down to 164!

i know reducing calories too much can cause problems, so i haven’t been doing anything crazy like a 1,200 calorie diet. i would say i average somewhere between 1500 and 1700 a day? some days i go on the lower or higher end because life happens (some days i may eat 1400, some days 2000).

to get to the point, i’ve been experiencing constipation issues over the past few months. i was also doing long term travel at the time, so i thought it was that, but i’m still having issues even now that i’m back in the us.

i also skipped my period in may, had it in early june, and haven’t had it since. this is not normal for me—i used to be very regular.

is it possible i’m reducing too low? i would guess i have a decent amount of muscle mass and i work out pretty regularly.

sorry for the long post: any help would be appreciated!

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Obese after pregnancy

I (33F) am currently obese per BMI (31, 5’2, 172 lbs) four months postpartum. Prior to pregnancy, I was around 145 lbs (overweight by BMI standards). Ranged between 120-140 for the past 3 years before that.

My highest weight was 202 while pregnant (probably even higher during delivery due to severe pre-eclampsia), and then came down to 178 after birth.

Breastfeeding has not helped with weight loss, but it’s probably more due to calories in.

Going to make a real try at weight loss tomorrow. Feeling terrible in my body with my appearance and with general aches and pain from weight gain. Looking for support. TIA.

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I’m (22F) receiving male attention for the first time in my life after losing 50lbs and I don’t know how to handle it

Idk if it’s the right sub to post this but I feel like there might be some people who’d relate to my words here and maybe share some advice.

I’ve (22F) always been overweight, shy and insecure. Especially around guys, mainly because boys used to make fun of my weight when I was little so I distanced myself from them to avoid being picked on. I have never had guy friends, not in high school, not at different jobs, not college, not everywhere. Never dated anyone either. Of course it was easy for my girl friends to say that the reason why is because I am insecure and not putting myself out there, which is true, but I always knew it was more than that. The harsh reality is that most guys who don’t find you attractive simply don’t care about getting to know you or even respect you as a person. Now that I am 50lbs lighter, I am constantly getting hit on at work and even have 3 guy friends. I am by no means any more confident because of my weight loss, because I have social anxiety so it’s not like I am acting any different around guys. It’s just that now guys are interested in what I have to say, and I am not complaining, I just literally don’t know how to act around guys. I didn’t even realize I was getting hit on a few times until it kicked in hours later when I recapped the conversations. I am simply not used to it. And now that I feel more confident in my body I do want to start dating, but I just feel so awkward whenever guys talk to me. I even lied a couple of times that I have a boyfriend when guys asked for my number or my Instagram, even though they seemed nice and I wanted to get to know them. Are there any people here who share a similar experience? Any tips?

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