I’m so discouraged. I’m losing fat in dumb places.

Hey y’all! A little back story about my situation, I’ve (30M) recently relocated from my small town with doing so I’ve been working on my health, I’ve been “king sized” all my life and now that I’m in a new environment I’ve decided it’s time for a change. Since my move about (3 months ago) on the scale I’ve gone from 308 to 285. Cool, Great, Fun… My issue is I don’t see the changes in places that I would like. Where I see a change you might ask, my wrist! I’ve had to get links taken out of my watch because it gets too loose. It’s really discouraging because I’m trying to lose the spare tire I have hanging on the front of me.

My lifestyle changes since moving that have caused the weight loss have been: Eating less and eating healthier. Drink more water and changed from regular soda to diet. (I’m trying to remove the soda all together.) Weightlifting schedule I follow M-F 5:30a-7a I walk 3.15 miles at 5:30 M-F Weekends are rest days I still watch my food intake but I do allow myself to have a sweet item over the weekend.

Where can I improve to help with losing the stomach fat?

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Weight loss so far

I started the year out at 532 pounds but at the end of March I started watching my calorie intake and use a calorie deficit calculator website to determine how many calories I need to consume to lose weight. I weight in every other Monday at my doctors office, except for this last Monday due to Labor Day. Today I weighed in at 441 pounds… I still have a long way to go but it’s progress. I have noticed some weeks I lose more than others… is that unusual?

09/15/22: 532 (lb) 6 (oz) 02/14/23: 520 (Ib) 8 (oz) 04/24/23: 502 (lb) 10 (oz) 05/10/23: 498 (lb) 06/18/23: 492 (lb) 05/24/23: 487 (lb) 3 (oz) 06/12/23: 482 (lb) 06/26/23: 474 (Ib) 8 (oz) 07/10/23: 466 (lb) 6 (0z) 07/24/23: 460 (lb) 2 (oz) 08/07/23: 453 (lb) 8 (oz) 08/21/23: 450 (lb) 2 (oz) 09/05/23: 441 (lb) 8 (oz)

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How to lose weight when you have zero motivation?

Part question, part rant .

But I struggle with binge eating and binge drinking. And yet, I've always wanted to be someone strong and disciplined enough to work out regularly. In truth, I was almost that person. In my early 20s, I didn't know much about weight loss or fitness. But I was very active. Spin class, hiking, and training for marathons that I never even ran

But now I'm 28. Much heavier and part of me wants to be healthier. But another part doesn't mind if the weight, binging, and alcohol took me out. And that part is much stronger than the other.

I spend most of my waking hours wishing I wasn't awake. I don't have a family or relationship to live for. I don't have anything that would make living life worth it, so why work to make it a long one?

And idk, it's just getting to the point where I know my weight problems aren't aesthetic. I had multiple open heart surgeries as a child. I have heart troubles, kidney troubles, and close to prediabetic.

The last time I had insurance, my doctor told me everything I needed to do to avoid long term health concerns. I'm still young at 28. I technically have time to turn my entire life around.

But what for? It sounds contradictory but I do want to lose weight. But I can't find the motivation to do it? What do I do?

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Ever since losing weight I have to deal with a lot of unwanted male attention.

I guess I just wanted to vent here and see if anyone relates. I recently lost 60 lbs and have been maintaining my weight loss for about 6 months now. I have always been friendly to everyone at work and never had any issues. However, since losing weight, I can tell that men are treating me differently. I can tell just by the way they look at me now. Its hard to explain. The way they make eye contact and smile is different and slighltly flirty I guess. That wouldn't bother me much, but I am having issues with two different older men now creeping on me at work. I have finally dealt with one by going to HR (I told him to stop before involving HR) and now another one is sliding in. It doesn't matter if I tell these people I have a boyfriend a million times. Now I find myself not wanting to smile or talk to any men in fear of ending up dealing with another one of these dudes.

I feel like if I was always thin, I'd probably be better equipped at dealing with this since I would have had more exposure and practice at turning these men away or vetting them. Instead I'm having to suddenly learn how to deal with this now. It's so frustrating. It's hard to focus at work with all this going on.

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Pre workout and caffeine for weight loss

My anecdotal experience with pre workout and caffeine for weight loss.

The past few months I’ve taken initiative to run at least 14 miles each week. (Usually I break up my miles into one mile in the morning, and one mile at night) Super good for burning calories and keeping an elevated metabolism.

Typically I just drink coffee or some form of caffeine before running (the exception is obviously at night). I’ve noticed a slight difference as I am able to perform better and longer. With no caffeine I can usually run around one mile, with caffeine it’s usually 1.25-1.5. A noticeable difference.

Today is was my first day trying pre workout. I ran 5 miles and still feel motivated. Today is the first day I’ve ever stopped a workout out of fear of hurting myself; not out of exhaustion.

This isn’t a promotional post, I’m just curious if anyone else has had a similar experience. I know pre workout gets allot of hate, “just use caffeine bro” “placebo effect” “waste of money”. Yeah, but burning 650 calories with no exhaustion vs 120 calories and almost dying feels like something must be working…

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Gained 7 Pounds A Month After Re-Starting the "Weight Loss Journey"

Went to the doctor's office earlier for the first time in years, with, as a matter of fact, the difficulty I have had losing weight while seeming to continue to gain a pound a month unless I force myself not to eat for like 2 years. Because of this difficulty, I have been trying as hard as I can to stick to a daily caloric intake of 1900-2100 calories (when I calculated online it said maintenance was like 3,000, which I know has a large margin of error, so I figured 1900 was a good place to start cuz years ago when I lost weight it's what I started at and it worked very well) and have been doing near-daily cardio and am starting the process of weight training again. I also fast most days until like 6 or 7pm (I wanted to start eating during the day but I can't bring myself to do it when I feel bloated and disgusting from the stuff I ate the night before). In spite of all this, at the doctor's today, when I got on the fucking scale, I weighed 297. When I started this a month ago I was at 289.

I immediately felt very disgusted at myself and wanted to just leave and go get drunk (I have a drinking problem that I have been able to control relatively well with therapy+a stint at the mental hospital earlier this year. I am not on medication however). However, I finished the appointment, then got in my car and had to pull over because I was crying and just being very self-hateful. I managed hours later, after essentially wearing myself out by screaming at myself in my head for like 2 hours, to calm down and I have since had some coffee and kratom (I have been trying to cut back on kratom now that I have my alcoholism under control but I can't because I'm an idiot who can't go through life without substances but that's another post), which helped me feel better.

One reason I refused to take psych meds was because I was scared of getting even fatter and becoming even more disgusting than I already am and then, on top of all of that, my dick not working if I did finally get my shit together and find happiness through meds. But this isn't really any better I guess. I've already accepted nobody will ever love me after another attempt at a relationship ended recently so all I have left is just having casual sex with Tinder strangers until the end of my life. But I can't do that either because I have no rizz to compensate for looking like shit, and combined with that everyone gets turned off by me.

So anyway, I think I'm going to just give up on working out and trying to count calories and will just force myself to not eat for as long as I can stand it. My metabolism is apparently already destroyed so this is the only option I have left. I don't care if it hurts me even more, I just fucking want to be skinny and get all the privileges one receives from being traditionally attractive because nobody will ever respect or love me again for anything else. Nobody ever really has I just chose to believe they did because I didn't want to be alone. I know you all will tell me not to do this but I don't care. I just want to be skinny and there's no other hope for me. I don't want to go back to being 300+ like in high school, that simply isn't an option. I will kill myself if this happens and I can't get it to stop.

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An incentive to strength train and retain (or even build) muscle during weight loss: Someone who is 163 lbs and 10% body fat requires the same amount of calories to maintain their weight as someone who is 230 lbs and 36% body fat.

One of the biggest fears I had when I started to lose weight was that I would not be able to eat at the lower calorie levels that were required to maintain my new weight. At the time, I had the (wrong) impression that I would require far more calories at my starting weight (230 lbs) than at my future weight (163 lbs).

Most people do not consider the option to input a body fat percentage (Bf %) when using a TDEE calculator (justifiably so, as an accurate BF % is difficult to measure). However, if you input a BF % in the calculator, you may (depending on what BF % you input) see a drastic difference in the predicted maintenance calories. Using my current stats as an example (M, 6"1, 32, 163 lbs), without a BF % entered, my maintenance calories at sedentary are estimated to be 2,092; where as, if I input my current BF % (~10%), the number is estimate to be 2,169. With this in mind, I decided to work backwards and determine what my original BF % would be if all of the 67 lbs I lost was fat mass.

163 lbs * 0.9 = 146.7 lbs of fat-free mass

146.7 lbs fat free mass / 230 lbs total mass = 0.64

(1-0.64) = 0.36 ; or 36% body fat.

The estimated calorie need for someone who is M, 6'1", 32, and 230 lbs with a BF % of 36 is 2,175 or only 6 calories higher than the estimated needs for a male of the same height and age at 163 lbs and 10% BF.

Now, the entirety of my loss was not all fat. There is definitely a reduction in water as you lose weight; however, if you consider a prediction for the reduction in water and work backwards, it would make my starting BF % even higher than 36, and the predicted calorie needs at 230 lbs would be even less than needed at 163 lbs.

While, TDEE calculators are estimates, I am at least a sample size of n =1 (and I refuse to think I am somehow special and that this doesn't apply to a majority of people) that these estimates are applicable to real life. It can be rather annoying to see a "I'm maintaining at X number of calorie" posts when X seems ridiculously high compared to what you are currently eating; however, I assure you it's just math.

If you are strength training, eating sufficient levels of protein, and losing weight at a slow pace then the majority of your weight loss will come from fat. In addition, you calorie needs will stay consistent throughout your loss and there is little to no reason to change the calorie levels you are eating at or recalculate your deficit. I ate at 1,900 calories/day for 7 months and went from 205 to 163 this year. I strength trained throughout and my weight loss never stagnated , the loss was linear, and I did not have to recalculate my calorie requirements.

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