Part question, part rant .
But I struggle with binge eating and binge drinking. And yet, I've always wanted to be someone strong and disciplined enough to work out regularly. In truth, I was almost that person. In my early 20s, I didn't know much about weight loss or fitness. But I was very active. Spin class, hiking, and training for marathons that I never even ran
But now I'm 28. Much heavier and part of me wants to be healthier. But another part doesn't mind if the weight, binging, and alcohol took me out. And that part is much stronger than the other.
I spend most of my waking hours wishing I wasn't awake. I don't have a family or relationship to live for. I don't have anything that would make living life worth it, so why work to make it a long one?
And idk, it's just getting to the point where I know my weight problems aren't aesthetic. I had multiple open heart surgeries as a child. I have heart troubles, kidney troubles, and close to prediabetic.
The last time I had insurance, my doctor told me everything I needed to do to avoid long term health concerns. I'm still young at 28. I technically have time to turn my entire life around.
But what for? It sounds contradictory but I do want to lose weight. But I can't find the motivation to do it? What do I do?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/V8RNHxD
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