reached a plateau/maintenance

i've hit a plateau after losing 40 lbs, but i'm just glad not to have gained it all back. i started trying to lose weight back in january by counting calories and was immediately faced with my experiences of disordered eating as a teen. this sort of restriction has really messed with my brain. it's such an unhealthy power struggle for me but it's also the only way i've ever been able to actually lose weight. case in point, at the start of the year, i'd already been going to the gym faithfully and putting effort into every workout for at least two months and it had literally no effect on my weight whatsoever. counting calories, i lost weight fast in a borderline healthy way, but didn't learn as much from that experience as i did from, next, maintaining the weight loss.

this (somewhat unintended) maintenance has lasted for at least three months, where i've just been gaining and losing the same 2-3 lbs. it was a tremendous struggle at first not to gain back way more than that. i still felt all my temptations to overeat and binge, made even worse by the restriction of the previous 3-4 months. because of my feelings on calorie counting, i decided to stop. since i already had so many low calorie recipes, i figured that by eating them, i'd basically be eating the same foods as i was eating while counting calories, just without counting and obsessing. i have to say i've gotten a much better grip now on 'normal' eating. at this point, it's not so much about control anymore as it is decision making. not so much about radical change as it is just cutting back.

the past three or four days i've been counting calories again (really just more like monitoring) and i'm feeling ready for my next leg of the journey. have to admit, i'd love to eat a little bit more for comfort, but the discomfort i'm in isn't pain and will go away the longer i keep eating like this. even though i'm restricting again, i'm still being responsible and there's always carrot sticks and other veggies if i'm actually hungry between meals.

submitted by /u/nobodynewknew
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