Venting.
Dieting was always hard and I never kept to it until recently I had enough of my cysts (I suspect I have hidradenitis) and went on an elimination diet of sorts. Still in the middle of figuring out my triggers but that’s besides the point.
Thing is. It took all four of my sites (both bikini lines and under both armpits) to flare up one day to really hit me how much I needed to eat healthier. Cutting potatoes was hard. I. Love. Potatoes. Chips and fries are my favorite of the bunch. I had to cut the rest of potato’s family members too (nightshades like green peppers and tomatoes, both that I LOVE). I’ve cut: processed sugars, coffee, nightshades, all junk food, all candy, soda, and an array of other stuff. I’ve lowered my intake of wheat too, but not completely on a GF diet yet.
I lost close to 10 pounds and since weight loss has been in my plan for years, as unhappy as I am to lose all this junk food, I’m not gonna complain about the bonus of the weight loss lol.
Right now, I’m sitting next to my brother who is stuffing his face with a family pack of chips, eating with his mouth open, and guzzling coke. It might be FOMO, it might be the annoyance of hearing him smack his lips and eat with his mouth open, it might be shoving the chip bag in my face asking if I want some (he knows I cant). It might be my mother telling me how much better the food tasted tonight with a bit of tomato garnishing (she told me this 7 times). It might just be work exhaustion. Might be my period that just past (delayed PMS?)
Whatever the case, I’m just so angry tonight. Like irrationally angry. I was always one of those “don’t impose your diet on other people” guys, but tonight, I’m just. So. Exhausted. Sad. Infuriated. I want to eat so much stuff and I can’t. I can’t even have a cheat day. I did that and then hobbled around with a bikini line cyst for days. Was not worth it.
I’m not going to tell my family to not eat these things in front of me or to force them to join me in my diet. But can I get some respect? Like. Don’t shove the chips in my face or tell me 7 times how good the dish that I can’t have was? Can you eat with your mouth closed?
Better yet, can my brother stop going around bragging that he can eat whatever he wants (he shouldn’t, diabetes and high blood sugar runs on both maternal and paternal sides) without anything happening and is proud to be obese with a big belly. I figured that when a family member is suffering, it was common courtesy to not rub stuff in their faces.
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