Hi everyone, I hope you're doing well. I hope you don't mind if I have a small breakdown here but if anyone may understand it, maybe it's this community.
I'm a 33yr old male 167cm who grew up playing sports and as a result never had a weight issue until recently. When I was 24-25 I noticed that I was losing my hair and as a result I fell into a depression. I started staying home, ordering in food to make myself feel better, you can see where this is going.
In December 2018 i weighed in at 86kg, Jan 2020 91kg bounced back to 86kg in april of 2020 then slowly climbed up to 98kg in April of this year before falling down to 89kg in August a rise to 95kg in October and after noticing 5 stretch marks on my stomach (I only had one on my stomach prior to this which was under hair so it didn't really bother me) have decided enough is enough and started CICO and got a gym membership, since October 13 I've gone from 94kg to 85kg.
I should state that I previously did gain stretch marks on my hips and butt, they're long and reach right round (yeah not happy about that) and big deep ones on the back of my thighs and underarms/armpits but since starting my weight loss, the stretch marks on my body well.. they've exploded. I now have them on both arms on the sides too and worst of all the front both thighs near my groin, some are deep and purple. Honestly typing this out I can see myself reading a post like this and being like yeah, that's what you get but I was in the 90s for years and I pay very close attention to my skin so I know these are new and not just skin that was previously stretched out. As you can imagine I'm devastated.
I know I'm losing faster than the recommended, I'm honestly not trying to, I want to slow down to try to prevent loose skin which I'm also terrified of and I've been told that I'll definitely get because of the stretch marks but I'm just struggling to eat healthy and get enough calories at the same time, when I don't do anything I'm getting about 6500kjs a day, what does everyone here eat?. Everything is suffering as a result of this, I'm finding myself looking for cures, I tried micro needling my stomach stretch marks and managed to only give myself post inflammatory hyperpigmentation which I don't know how to fix and a dermatologist I've contacted has said he can't help and there's only one other one in the city that I've seen previously as a kid and he was not great.. this is also impacting my ability to concentrate at work
I know that some people here who are 300+lbs would like to have stopped where I am and if you're struggling too I send you all the love I have, I just can't deal with this on my own body. My mind just keeps telling itself "You've permanently scarred your body forever, you could have just gone to the gym and focused on that as your coping mechanism but no" It feels worse knowing that this was a choice I made and knowing what it was like to be in shape for most of my life so far.
What I would do to turn back the clock and the loose skin hasn't even really started yet... How does everyone here manage, I can't see myself ever being intimate and confident again
So this is my scream into the abyss of the internet.
Here's some pics, NSFW but everythings covered obviously https://imgur.com/a/C0gPqVV
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/Ro1dckE
