Need advice to encourage and help fiancé.

My Fiancé (23F) is the love of my life and want to do everything I can to assist her in every aspect of life. She is around 390lbs is currently finding it incredibly difficult to do almost 90% of all everyday tasks. She is miserable in this sense as she cannot work, she can hardly move around without being exhausted or in actual pain. She is having issues doing very basic, but crucial, hygiene related things. She also struggles with other issues regarding mental health that impact her ability to do these things when they all compound on one another. Recently she has been getting physically ill with most food. I'm sure it has a-lot to do with the quality of food we consume, but it is difficult to find things that will help her in weight loss, not make her sick, and not break the bank. We have called and called and called her PCP and GI doctors for referrals and appts respectively, however one GI we were referred to from the ER will not be able to get her in until Sept. The GI her PCP has referred us to only has a "Leave a message for callback" option when calling to make an appointment and they have not called back after several attempts. Its a cycle of she eats> she gets sick > doesn't feel good physically > can't move around because of not feeling well on top of difficulty in general for her > feels okay enough to eat > repeat. I have not attempted weight loss before as I have generally stayed around a healthy weight for myself my entire life, so I do not know how to help her to break this cycle. It hurts me to no end to see her struggle with this every single day and not know what to do to help her. She wants this too, we just don't know how to break that cycle and how/where to start any of this. Any help is appreciated and if this is the wrong subreddit I am so sorry, if you could refer me to the correct one that would be perfect. Thank you.

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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1dt63cw/need_advice_to_encourage_and_help_fiancé/

Count. Your. Darn. Calories. 🤦‍♀️

So here is a tale from a recovered but delusional "muh body defies laws of thermodynamics " "muh low thyroid" "I have the lowest metabolism in the UNIVERSE!" person. 🤡

I even posted here complaining about the mysteries of the workings of my body and its ability to hold on to fat while I'm basically STARVING.

The truth is, when someone would ask if I'm counting my calories I would say "Yes", and actually kinda believe it. translation - I'm guesstimating the calorie content in my food pretty well right? I mean it felt like I barely eat anything anyway... I mean I'm counting my main meals and I pretty much know the calorie content in my snacks...

How would weighing and counting every single thing that goes in my mouth make a huge difference when it feels like I'm literally starving myself? My biggest justification for not counting everything was "It won't be sustainable because I can't count calories forever so I have to learn to guesstimate some things". Actually, you CAN count forever, a small price to pay to stay at your desired weight.

After I truly started counting my calories religiously, guess what, I was losing EXACTLY the amount of weight calorie counters predicted at current deficit. Yep, I actually didn't have a freakishly rare metabolism dysfunction after all believe it or not.

So don't be lying to yourself. If you're not counting EVERY single thing that goes in your mouth, you're not counting (I mean generally, of course I don't mean like not counting a grape will ruin it or anything). Counting your "big" meals and not snacks doesn't count either BTW.

This is why everyone is giving you the side eye when you're saying you're counting calories and not losing weight. Some of us have been there.

I do want to put a disclaimer that some do have rare conditions that hold back weight loss, but these are exceedingly rare. Plateaus are a thing as well. And this all applies x 10 for shorties out there because we have such razor thin margins because our maintenance is low as it is, even one snack can make the difference between losing and not losing weight unfortunately.

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weight loss stalled when school started

My weight has yoyoed for most of my life. I'm 40 and throughout my twenties I would be bounce between 160 - 120. At 30 I went on a massive diet that got me down to 110 and kept it off for three years. Then I went back to school and started gaining weight. Then came the pandemic where I gained even more weight, and then I had a serious medical emergency which severely reduced my mobility. After I finished school, I went on a diet and ended up losing 30lbs in seven months just by cutting out all sugar and fried food. Then I started grad school and my weight loss stalled, even though I was eating the same thing (not the exact same thing, but an equivalent amount). Over the course of the last year, I've tried cutting down calories, but no matter how much I cut, I don't lose any weight. I'm not quite sure why I'm having so much trouble now. My first thought was it was stress, but if that's the case, I don't know how to combat it. Does anyone know what could be caused the weight loss to stop or what I could do to kick it off again?

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Do most of you only eat healthy food? My story of eating junk, losing weight and still not "losing it"

Just read someone talking about how they ate chips this one day after weeks of dieting and maybe that is why they gained weight. Seriously?

I started my journey at 68.5KG and am 65.5KG now. I eat shit. Literally. This one week I basically had popeyes, pizza, or some garbage i got delivered daily. In that week, i actually went down to 64.5 but have put it back on over next 2 months. Heck in the five weeks prior to that where i went down from 68.5 to 65.5 when i did gym and tried to do 1500 cals, i still ordered fast food twice a week and not a single home made meal. The key for me has really been counting cals - like if i have popeyes, i probs eat nothing else and i am below maintenace everyday with most days around that 1600 cals when my budget is 1950 . This past week i started gyming again (want to go to 62KG eventually) but i have also been eating garbage. Today i had 2 cookies, a smore and a pack of mini pringles... But as i count it is 1600 cal? So which is it - watch what u eat or how much?

For additional context, admittedly my weight loss journey def hasnt gone to plan. I am 174cm and male so the weight itself even at 68.5 isnt alot but i look fat with love handles... But even now i have thos.

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Why am I not losing weight? I tried literally everything and nothing works. :(

Male, 17, 175cm

SW/CW: 81kg

GW: 79-75 kg

Ever since I hit 175cm I got stuck at having 80-81-82 kg, and never changing from this.

For two whole years I've stayed at 81kg, even after making a lot of changes with my diet and overall physical activity, but this number didn't flinch at all. (it did reach 82 one time but only because of a kind of medication I was on)

After entering this new year I promised myself that I'll do everything in order to achieve at least a kg that starts with 7, no matter if it's 79, and the better if it would be 75 or even around it.

I went only by foot to school and back to my home (which is more than 10.000 steps), I tried a no sugar diet for some months, and I even did some cardio once every 2-3 days at home (because I'm physically unable to do it daily, even after trying for a longer time). Other than having whiter and better teeth, nothing about my weight changed. Still at 81 kg. (This was during school, which made whatever I did very limited)

School has been over for a month, so since the summer vacation started I made a new plan, where:

• I've been making and eating much healthier food than I did before because I have much more time in my hands
• I've been starting to seriously count my calories in order to achieve a deficit at 1300-1500kcal per day
• I've been keeping doing my daily 10.000+ steps
• I've been starting to sleep better because I heard that this will also help with weight loss.
• I've been drinking more water than I did before.

I don't want to do cardio or any other physical activity that has me to push myself because I easily faint even after the slightest bit of effort. (I did ask multiple doctors about this, and even after 3-4 years of doing so none had ever found out what I really have).

I guess I could get a gym membership and train there, but I have some problems with it:

• It's very expensive (somewhere around 30 euro, some even at 40+ euro)
• As I said earlier, I have that one problem with fainting.
• In this area there are a lot of toxic men that spread toxic masculinity everywhere and can easily destroy my determination to actually do something with my weight and my wellbeing overall. I'm a very sensitive person when it comes to these things and with my public image being picked on.

So, what should I do to at least achieve 79 kilos in a way that I can actually see the changes on my scale? Or something like 80.x in like two weeks or so? I want to feel motivated by actually seeing the progress. Doesn't matter how much, could even be 80.8 and I'd still feel proud and try to keep up the good work. But it never happens.

Am I doing something wrong? Am I too harsh with myself? Have I forgot something important? What is it?

Thank you!

EDIT: I forgot to mention that sometimes at a random moment of the day I feel extremely stressed and I have to eat something which now is either some sunflower seeds or some carrots. Might this be the reason why I keep the same weight?

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somehow went up 2kg, kinda sucks

CW: 266kg SW: 304kg (Early April)

hey all. i'm finally in hospital for weightloss after 2 years of searching and being bedridden.

it has it's ups and downs, obviously, but i'm listening to all instructions from the team around me and doing what they say.

we do a weighing every week, and somehow in the last weighing i went up 2kg. it shocked me because:

1. i'm on an 800 cal diet (taking a pill that decreases hunger)

2. there's a camera in my room, so there's proof i don't eat in secret or something

i'm obviously still going to continue in my journey but this sucks, makes me feel like my body is starting to reject my weight loss. i did make good progress so far and i need to make 250 till September. hopefully next weighing will be better.

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How important is food variety to you when dieting?

This is a discussion I've had a few times with friends and colleagues and I'm interested to see what the broader sentiment is.

My personal method for achieving healthy weight loss boils down to "create an appropriate calorie deficit, maintain a healthy macronutrient ratio, and ensure you get all the micronutrients you need". I'm pretty meticulous about tracking macros/micros so I get this right (more than I really need to be, but being detailed and strict about it is what works and motivates me). The problem is that I'm a) extraordinarily lazy and b) a terrible cook. So on a lot of days, rather than eating a variety of foods and picking and choosing meals based on what fits my macro requirements, I just make Huel shakes, which do exactly what I want and take pretty much no time to make.

This week, primarily just for the fun of it, I did that for every meal, and got literally all of my calories from Huel. (It's gone fine, and it's been a pleasing novelty to "precisely" hit my calorie/macro targets every day). I was chatting with my colleagues about it and one of them kind of couldn't believe that I was OK doing that, expressing that they'd get super depressed if they were only able to eat one thing, especially if that thing was Light-Brown Nutrient Sludge™. Now, I totally understand that position and accept that I'm an outlier in terms of food opinions, but I've always found that food variety doesn't really matter to me at all - even when not dieting, I'm a same-sandwich-every-lunchtime sort of guy. I'm just wondering about everyone else, and interested in what r/loseit's opinions are on the topic.

Are you the kind of person who can eat the same thing every day and be fine, or do you have to mix it up? If you need a lot of variety, do you find that that makes dieting more difficult to manage, or that you end up short of certain macros/micros, or that it's tougher to get your fiber in? Or if you're a same-sandwich-every-day kind of person, does that cause you any issues with diet/nutrition, or do you find that people comment on it a lot?

I don't have a hyper-specific question I'm looking to answer here, I'm just interested in hearing different approaches and philosophies on this and seeing what interesting stuff comes up in discussion. I'm definitely not trying to divide the sub into two bitterly warring factions, perhaps called Team Gruel and Team Cornucopia ^{but if that does happen I will lay down my life defending the gates of Castle Nutri-Goop}

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