Is there hope?

So I guess this is abit of a success story mixed with anxiety and fear but here we go.

I used to weight 140kg a few years ago and now I’m almost at 85kg at 15% body fat and I am very happy with that. A large reason for my weight loss was to find a partner since I really want a family in the future. However as I inch further towards my goal I get the dread that it’s not gonna change anything in terms of my attractiveness. I was on apps at 104kg last time at roughly 32% body fat and I struggled hard. And I was really hoping my weight loss would help me succeed but I am scared it won’t. I haven’t gone out on the apps yet but I am planning to once I reach my goal.

Out of curiosity I tried online attractiveness eaters and got the following scores

AI: 7-8/10

Reddit: 5/10

Photofeeler: 8/10

I don’t know what o make of this but I really hope my weight loss will give me more success.

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20 pounds down… Here’s what I’ve learned so far!

1. Progress isn’t linear. I have days where I go over my calories but I don’t let it deter me from sticking to it the next day. I try not to let myself have a ‘bad’ day twice in a row. I have been giving myself grace and talking to myself almost lovingly. The journey is so much easier when I love myself rather than hating myself through it :) ♡

2. I learned to sit with hunger and found that it goes away after a while. Before, I would eat anything and everything even when I felt sick to the stomach stuffing myself because I didn’t know how to be okay with feeling even the littlest bit hungry. I feel a lot more regulated letting myself just wait 20-30 minutes after eating even when I do have the urge to eat more.

3. Every time I choose to stick to the promises I made to myself—sticking to my meal plan, taking that walk, cooking at home, I have new found confidence in myself. My weight-loss journey has been more than just losing weight. I feel so confident in myself as a person because I practice discipline every single day and show up for myself.

I just wanted to share some things I have learned during my weight loss journey, if it helped anyone I’m so happy ♡ We all got this!

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Losing weight, but still fat and really sick of it. Wondering if/when I'll start feeling smaller?

I am an obese but otherwise healthy female in her mid-20s who is actively losing body fat. I'm 5'5" in height and weigh 202 lbs as of this morning. (That's AWESOME, because at the start of the year I was 215.) I was chubby as a kid and super lean as a teenager (125lbs), but after I quit team sports in high school my weight crept up each year because I love to stuff my face. In my early 20s, I experienced a severe psychiatric episode and self medicated with junk food - I put on almost 60 pounds in a year, with my highest weight hitting 254. I was completely miserable, felt sick all of the time, and could barely get around. I am now on the right meds (including ADHD meds for the first time in several years, which have helped with my impulse control). I don't regret being as big as I was because I needed to learn that morbid obesity is not right for me. (PS - my A1C, cholesterol, and hormones are all in the normal range.)

In 2023, I finally dropped some weight and began to hover at around 222 until August of 2025. In autumn of last year, the ADHD meds kickstarted another wave of weight loss because I have much better impulse control and eat a balanced, lower-calorie diet. I also lift weight and walk + use the elliptical machine 2-4 times a week. Like I said, my morning weigh-in today had me at 202.8 lbs and I let out a celebratory cheer when I saw the number - I'm SO CLOSE to being out of the 200s!

But I still feel huge. I feel rotund. I am a giant beast! I know that 202 lbs on a petite 5'5" frame is still very big and I have a long way to go, but I sort-of don't feel any lighter than I was at 254. Thankfully, people in my life have noticed my recent weight drop (I've noticed it on my face too; I'm so pleased to see my jawline and beautiful neck coming back!). Has anyone else experienced this? Will it take a while until I start to feel "lighter"? I'm TIRED of feeling like I'm carrying around a bunch of kindergarteners on my waist all of the time. I wish that I could speed this process up. But the weight went on really gradually, so I know that it will come off gradually too. I'm just feeling so impatient.

TL;DR: My highest weight was 254 lbs. I am 202 lbs now and don't feel lighter, even though I'm steadily losing body fat, actively working on improving my strength and stamina, and can feel my muscles getting stronger. I'm wondering if I will ever get to a point where I don't feel like a whale anymore. Thoughts?

Edited for grammar and to add a contextual sentence.

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28 year old 6ft male month weight loss discussion.

Hello my name is Rhys.

Feb 19th – 104.8 kg

March 19th – 101.3 kg

(Lowest being yesterday at 100.9 kg)

I’m a 28-year-old, 6'1" male, and I’ve been tracking my weight consistently over the past month while trying to stay in a calorie deficit. I’ve been reasonably disciplined with my food, keeping things fairly controlled day to day, and I’ve also been paying attention to my activity levels.

I’m curious how my progress is looking overall for the first month. I’ve lost a few kilos, but I’m wondering if the results should be more dramatic at this stage, or if this is considered a solid and realistic rate of progress. I’m also unsure whether the level of fluctuation I’m seeing on the scale is normal, or if my graph should look smoother and more consistently downward.

One thing I’ve been finding mentally challenging is how the scale behaves over short periods. For example, I might sit in the low 101 kg range for several days, then finally see a drop into something like 100.7 kg, which feels like a big milestone. But then within a couple of days, it jumps back up to around 101.3 kg again, which can feel frustrating and makes it seem like I’ve undone progress, even though I’ve been consistent.

I’d appreciate any insight into whether this pattern is normal, and how others interpret these kinds of fluctuations when trying to assess real progress.

Thanks.

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Lost 60lbs and Friends and Family are Telling Me to Stop

For context I'm 5'2 female, my highest weight was 213 lb and Im now currently 153 lb. My goal weight is around 120-130lb so in the middle range of a healthy bmi.

I have some friends and family telling me that I need to stop losing weight. That their concerned that my goal weight is too low for me despite it not being considered under weight for my height. And its making me feel very discouraged.

This is my 2nd serious attempt at weight loss. I previously dieted back in 2015 and went from 160 lb to 134 lb at my lowest before gaining it back and more through some unfortunate life circumstances.

And now that I've lost 60 lbs, I'm suddenly being told that I looked "too thin" back when i was 134 lb and how it made me look like I had a "big lollypop head." They never said this to me back then but are saying it now. And to be honest, back then I still felt a little chubby at 134 lb which is why I want to aim slightly lower this time.

The people telling me this are overweight themselves and want to lose weight but havent made as much progress as me. So I cant help but think theres some jealousy involved.

I dont know what to do about the comments other than to ignore it and still pursue my goal. Im not great at confrontations and Im a bit afraid of the comments they'll make if and when I do hit my goal though.

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Moved to a bigger house…

And I couldn’t believe how much higher my TDEE has been since I moved, and how much easier it is to hit my step goals, movement goals, etc.

I recently moved from a 500 square foot tiny apartment to a 1400 square foot house which has two flights of stairs. A week after I moved, my Apple Watch started giving me notifications about how there’s been a change in my daily average steps, flights climbed, daily calories burned, etc. I don’t count “exercise calories burned” from my watch when determining my deficit because I don’t want to over estimate but I’ve definitely noticed a higher rate of weight loss since I moved.

The more I think of it, it makes sense. At my old place, if I got up to get a sweater, water, my phone charger etc, I only had to walk 5 feet to get it. Now when I need something, I’m often going upstairs or walking to the other side of my house. It really adds up. I’m getting 4000-5000 additional steps per day now.

I never would have imagined that moving to a bigger house would make it so much easier for me to lose weight, but it’s pretty noticeable, and I’ll take it!

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Is weight loss really just eating healthy and exercising?

What other recommendations do you have in order to make a weight loss long-lasting, maintainable, and how to keep your weight sustainable once at your goal?

Is it really just a matter of sticking to a workout schedule and eating healthy meals/caloric count? To anyone that has lost weight or anyone knowledgeable, is this pretty much it or what other recommendations do you have for this?

In prior weight loss attempts I admit I find myself becoming very impatient and discouraged with the number on the scale. Some months I’d lose 5-6 pounds or a few more, some months maybe 2 pounds at most. This would result in my motivation to hit the gym dwindle and my cravings would get the better of me and I’d choose junk food over healthy snacks. My problem I admit is one of staying on track no matter what. What do I need to do to really hone in on finally sticking to this for the long haul to reach the weight I want? I’m at 5’6 230lbs and i want to get to 145 lbs. any tips are super appreciated!

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