People not understanding why I'm calorie counting is getting me down

Just needing to vent. I'm down 50kg from my highest weight and I've been actively focusing on losing weight for 18 months where the bulk has come off - around 38kg. However I'm now in the skinny fat phase where I've got a serious belly pouch going on that I'd like to shift. I appreciate that that part is going to be slow to get there.

But right now I'm getting really frustrated at people close to me saying "It doesn't matter, just have a day off" when I'm now trying to accurately track calories for at least some period of time (2 to 3 weeks) to work out my maintenance calories on a new exercise regime I've undertaken. People see me looking mostly skinny (arms, shoulders, face, etc) and wearing nice fitting clothes, sure I look good - tight clothes compress my belly in and my figure looks ok. But there's still blatantly a lot more fat to lose that people don't see.

Currently I weigh myself daily and I look at an average of the weight over 2 weeks. I gauge from that whether I need to increase or decrease the amount I eat depending what pace I want to lose weight at. I lost at nearly 3lb/s a week for 4 months continuously and had side effects - hair loss, sagging skin, etc, muscle loss. I've also at times really struggled with some disordered eating in the way of binge/restrict cycles and still lost weight - but I know that's harmful and I don't want to be doing that, even if it gets results on the scales.

So sure if all I cared about was looking at the number on my scales and wanting it to go down then I know I could very easily just undereat a lot and the weight will eventually come off. But I don't want that and risk side effects.

I'm currently targeting a small weight loss target (200g a week) as I'm hoping to also build some muscle through strength training at the same time. So like.. with my current activity level I simply don't know if my body can get by on as little as say 1400 calories or maybe I actually need closer to 2000 calories with this new exercise program. Current aim is 1600 calories a day and see where I'm at in 2 and either increase or decrease that by 100 calories depending on what my average weight ends up as.

I know that even looking at a week by week weight there are fluctuations/sudden weight catch ups etc and realistically I only get a clearer picture by extending my average to looking at weight over 2 or even 3 week period.

So I feel like a day off from not tracking calories during this period effectively makes the entire weeks data useless and I have to start again to figure out what my target weekly average calorie intake should be.

Maybe I'm overthinking this, but I'm just frustrated at people for not getting how much I time and mental effort I'm putting into this when they're so dismissive of me telling them I need to be careful of where I'm eating out etc and choosing only places/foods that I can get a close as accurate calorie count from. You baked me a cupcake? Great, it's likely very tasty but I'm sorry - I can't eat it. I couldn't accurately gauge whether it's 200 calories or 600 calories. Invited to a small restaurant with no nutritional labels on any of the food.. out of the question at this stage for me.

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Help! Im attempting to lose a little weight while working on creating a sustainable diet for myself

Hi all, its my first post in this sub so bear with me. Im a 25YO M who is looking to begin a weight loss/muscle gain journey. While I don't necessarily need to lose a ton of weight, as I sit at 5'10"and 185lbs, I'm looking to get rid of belly and oblique fat that Ive struggled with for years to get rid of, to the point of mental health problems arising. I just want to feel good in my skin.

Currently, I go to the gym 4 days a week and get an additional day or two of zone 2 cardio per week, though my diet has always lacked a little. So, I'm working on starting a new diet that could help me achieve this weight loss that I'm after, while also aiding in gaining muscle in its place. I'll post what I have so far below, but would very much appreciate any additional help or direction I could go.

Breakfast
Protein overnight oats
Ingredients:
Oats, Chia seeds, Honey, Greek Yogurt, Protein milk, Protein powder, Dark chocolate chips
OR Breakfast Option #2
Eggs, Meat like sausage or bacon, Bread, and Potatoes
Fruits/Other
Blueberries, Blackberries, Bananas, Pears, Strawberries, Avocado, Nut mix

Lunch
Sardines on toast with lemon, chili pepper, and green onion with a side of fruit

Dinner
Protein:
Chicken breast
Ground turkey
Ground beef
Other meats that seem interesting/good (bison, fish, or venison for example)
Carbs:
Pita bread/Naan
Spaghetti
Potatoes
Rice
Toppings:
Lettuce, Spinach, Bagged frozen veggies, Bell peppers, Tomatoes, Avocado, Pickles, Everything but the bagel seasoning, Sauces like tzatziki

Snacks/Dessert/Drinks
Protein bars, Pita chips/Naan/Pita/Flatbread with tzatziki or hummus, Rice cakes, Any fruits that I have under breakfast, Nut mix, Oikos triple zero yogurts, Protein ice creams, Dark chocolate, Coffee, Bubbly water, Protein shakes/Fairlife shakes

Where could I go from here? Is what I have a good starting point? Am I missing anything? Any help or pointing in the right direction would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all!!

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Feeling Stuck and Unsure how to Proceed

Been trying to lose weight for years, got way more serious about it in the last 12 months and really, in the last 6.

Started the year around 285. I'm a 5'11" man. In the pursuit of making losing weight as quick as possible, I have been targeting 1800 calories per day during the week with a little bit more freedom (~2100) on the weekends.

During the week, breakfast and lunch are consistent and high protein: Greek yogurt for breakfast with coffee and chicken+ broccoli meal prep for lunch. Dinner is variable but, is usually pretty healthy.

All tracked with MyNetDiary.

Six months in, I've lost 20lbs. I feel like that isn't adding up. I go to the gym 3 times a week, doing 15 minutes on the elliptical at moderate intensity (~130 bpm sustained) followed by 45-60 minutes of moderate intensity lifting. I don't always hit my 10k step goal on gym days but, I am usually at 8.5k+ so, not far off.

On non gym days, I walk 2-3 times a day and average 12.5k steps.

I work from home currently and spend 3/4 of the day standing on a balance board to try to keep the small movements going.

I am seeing progress. Waistbands being a little looser, thighs slimming down a bit, etc but, this rate doesn't seem right to me. Even accounting for gaining some muscle mass, it isn't making sense.

I am not sure how to proceed. Is it possible that I am actually eating too little and sabotaging the weight loss by being in continuous starvation mode? I don't feel hungry throughout the day but, maybe that isn't the indicator I should be looking for?

I'm going to talk to my doctor about getting in touch with a dietician and having a blood panel done to make sure there isn't something I'm missing in the medical side but, any thoughts or ideas?

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Officially lost 100 pounds in 1.3 years

22 year old 5'7 male here. I was apparently 250 lb in March, 2025. As of today, my scale says that I am 150 lb, which means I've lost 100 lb.

Wow, looking back, I'm shocked to how I was this obese for this long. I was at least overweight-obese since 2nd grade of elementary school. I struggled most of my life in finding clothes that could fit me. And now I could fit in clothes that are considered small. My BMI is at the healthy range for American standards. My waist-height ratio is considered healthy. My body fat still seems quite high but I'm sure doing a lean bulk/cut cycle + lifting weights will fix it instead of continuing to cut even further. I can run for at least 30 minutes and once ran for a whole hour.

But obviously, my journey is not over at all. I still plan on losing 10 more pounds at 140 lb to try and see if I can lose a bit more fat as I still have quite a ton. But after that, if I still look quite fat despite at a really healthy weight which I'm assuming is skinny fat, I'll stop my long awaited weight loss and start doing a lean bulk to increase my muscle mass before doing another smaller cut and so on. Thought lifting weights on progressive overload and eating high protein would get me away from that but oh well. I've heard about recomping but I hear the results for that are extremely slow so I'd rather just do the bulk/cut cycle.

I do wish I had accomplished this weight loss before college as I'm in my final year. Perhaps my social life would've been a lot better and I would've been a lot more confident and done more physical activities that I enjoy. Perhaps I could've gotten a girlfriend. But the past is the past, and my weight loss journey is nearing an end while a new journey is starting. I just want to say thank you for this long, struggling, process to becoming healthy.

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What’s a realistic expectation for my stomach?

For context - female 5’1, start weight 258 and goal weight 150ish.

What can I expect my stomach to look like by the end of my weight loss? I carry enough weight to have an “apron belly” and I’ve had two c-sections. I don’t imagine a flat stomach would ever be achievable without surgery, and that’s fine. But I was wondering if you lost a lot of weight, was there a big improvement in your “apron belly”?

So far, my face and legs have become very slender. Hips and butt have reduced in size, but it seems nothing is shifting in my stomach unfortunately.

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Weight loss is coming with a learning curve

Being on this journey has taught me many things so far. I find that the more I learn about weight loss, about the progress, the struggles and the challenges, the more I realize how little it has to do with weight.

Ironically enough, it's about everything else.

What a person old habits looks like, and what they associate with pain, and with reward. What type of movement that comes most natural to them and what type of foods they prefer as healthier options.

It's through honesty about who we are and our already habits, that we find our indvidual direction in life. And breaking good or sedentary habits is no different. Anyone who thinks they can copy somebody else's routines and expect same results, will need to think again. They need to include their own personality.

The person losing weight is the same person who must be custom - included in any routine or plan. This also goes for when we are to support others in their weight loss. We must adapt the support and shape it *around the person* rather than throwing them some generalized disciplinary module with "count calories!" or "Walk more!"

Something that's easy to forget is. *Knowledge isn't equal to appliance.* We all can know that logically, less calories leads to less weight. Or counting calories will give more information on what to cut off. Or running is healthier than couch potatoing. But applying that and making it to long lasting routines where we change our everyday habits and turn around a whole lifestyle? That's something else. And is unlikely to happen over night. It's also unlikely to stick perfectly even if we are progressing more than not. (And it doesn't need to)

Weight loss comes with a learning curve, and in that curve we will get tons of feedback. But if we or our loved ones are not careful, said feedback can turn to guilt. (And guilt is craving self destruction.)

Therefore we ought to view anything that happens , any result , *as feedback to where to go next.*

Try any ideas a couple weeks and then evaluate. (What helped? What was hard? What needs to be adjusted? What options is available for said adjustment?) Try something again. And allow the learning curve.

It doesn't have to be perfect or work instantly to count. Even ending up in slip ups, comfort, or guilt is feedback for a progress, *if you know how to turn pain in to purpose.*

The worst obstacle with any habit breaking changes isn't the changes themselves, but how we treat ourselves or our loved ones during the learning curve.

So I have come to the conclusion that weight isn't what matters the most in weight loss. Being kind and respecting the learning curve is.

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Small Weight Loss in One Year: from 48 to 44% body fat, what worked, what didn't, and DEXA images, if sub will let me post them

Last year, under someone else's post, I shared a mortifying image from my DEXA: at 48% body fat, it didn't even look human. And that was AFTER I had already started losing weight. I knew I had to make a change. Here's what I did:

JULY: joined a pilates studio, did home workouts, counted calories miserably; lost a couple pounds

AUGUST: quit the pilates studio because it turned out to be a scam, kept up with home workouts sporadically, kept trying to count calories; lost a couple pounds

SEPTEMBER: got COVID, went completely off track

OCTOBER-APRIL: stayed off track, losing and then regaining the same few pounds cyclically

MAY: learned I'm prediabetic, realized this is no joke, I can't keep screwing around like this; joined a low carb eating program through my health insurance for those with prediabetes or diabetes; began tracking my glucose and ketones daily as part of the program, but quit counting calories, as that's not part of the program and it depresses me anyway

JUNE: started to get the hang of eating in this new way; cut out sugar EASILY for the first time in my life; got rid of the joint pain and fatigue that plagued me; stopped crashing after meals; for the first time in years, WANTED to move; resumed daily walking; started doing more random exercise; lost a couple more pounds

As of today, I'm down only seven pounds from last year-- my goal was 40! But my body composition scan today showed the following:

• my bone density is still about what it was last year
• my lean body mass is the same as it was last year (which I'm considering neutral, because my LBM last year was low-- but I didn't lose any with the fat I lost, and I didn't work to build muscle, so I think that's fair
• my body fat percentage went from 48 to 44, so I'm still not near my health target, but I'm moving in the right direction
• my visceral fat went from 1.9 lbs to 1.5 lbs, which was one of my biggest concerns

Here are the things I'm going to continue doing for the next year:

• eat added sugar only on occasion (I was eating added sugar daily, and like... a mortifying amount)
• avoid the foods that spike my glucose (white rice and white breads are the biggest culprits for me)
• maintain low-ish carb ratios (I'm not really "low carb," as I find that I feel great as long as I avoid the carbs that spike my glucose-- but I find that staying under 100g carbs daily feels best)
• maintain decent protein
• check calories if my weight creeps up, but don't make calorie counting an obsession (I 100% agree that weight loss is CICO, but I've found that my body makes better use of calories when my insulin is steady, so avoiding foods that my body doesn't process properly is easier for me and makes me feel better-- eating white rice in a calorie deficit will theoretically make me lose weight, but the glucose spike that makes me fall asleep immediately after eating and keeps me in a daze the rest of the day isn't conducive to the physical lifestyle I need to be working toward)
• walk daily and frequently

Here's what I'm adding for next year:

• daily jumping exercises to maintain bone density
• a structured weight lifting routine to build lean body mass

Finally: I know my changes aren't monumental. There are so many people in this sub who have made WAY bigger changes. But I've been gaining weight every year since I was 30, so the fact that I didn't GAIN weight this year was itself a big deal for me. Learning that I have insulin resistance has been the major catalyst for change for me. Implementing small changes and feeling 10 years younger after just the first week of eating differently has changed my life. I was eating myself to death, not just in quantity of food, but in type. Addressing my insulin resistance has helped in both ways, because now that I'm avoiding the glucose spike triggers, my cravings are regulated. I've had my favorite chocolates in the cupboard since May. I give myself permission to have one each night (strangely, refined sugar doesn't spike my glucose as much as white rice or bread)... yet... I haven't touched them. I just don't care to. I've lost my taste for the sugary desserts that put me where I am today, and I've also developed proper hunger signals. I used to still feel hungry after three plates of dinner... now I feel satisfied after one. Guys. I NEVER felt satisfied before, even when I was full to the point of bursting.

I'm hoping that I can share bigger results next year, but for now, thanks for motivating me to get my act together. :0) Diet feels sorted, now I need to build some muscle!

Here is a comparison of 2025 vs 2026 body composition scan: https://imgur.com/I7g6b55

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