Confused about calculating what my calories should be in a deficit (trans on HRT & disabled/very sedentary).

Hi, I'm sorry if this is a really stupid question but I'm kind of a stupid person.

I am 5"7 and 87kg. I am a trans man and I've been on HRT for a year, but I found out a month ago that for at least 2 months my T levels had dropped back to my pre-T range (which was in between the female and male range because I have PMOS). I am also disabled and have been in and out of mental health crisis so I have literally been spending most of my time just lying in bed or on the sofa without really moving (so more sedentary than the 'sedentary' option on TDEE calculators). I've started trying to work out a bit at home but it's only 20-40 minutes a day and not every day, a mix of yoga and basic bodyweight strength exercises.

I started at 110kg and was eating around 1500kcals and the weight loss was incredibly slow, with weeks of maintaing and then a small drop, sometimes even gaining slightly.

I then got sick and stopped being able to tolerate food at all really and quickly dropped to the weight I am now. During this period I was eating 1000kcals a day for about a month, and then a month of around 250-500kcals.

I've started a new medication that's helped with the symptoms I was experiencing but I've also had to massively limit my fibre intake as it was giving me horrendous stomachaches. The trouble is my appetite has started to come back but I'm still only really able to have soft foods and soups, plus crackers, plain biscuits, and bread etc. If I eat 'proper' food I feel really awful (yes, I'm waiting for a hospital appointment).

I have been trying to keep under 1200kcals a day. I don't feel 'actual' hunger (I actually still feel quite sick and get full really fast) but I have insatiable mental hunger and with the limited amount of stuff I can eat at the moment it's made staying in a deficit harder, weirdly. It's like there's a gremlin in my brain that wants to eat stuff like cream cheese and yoghurt and biscuits. I'm finding it hard to stick to this deficit (I think not being able to mindlessly munch on stuff like lettuce is making it harder). I've stopped weighing myself for the last 2 weeks because it was lowkey freaking me out.

I'm wondering if I should be aiming slightly higher, but when I try and do the maths I get confused. I assume I should be taking 500 off my BMR, and that my BMR should still be the female range, but that puts me at 1100kcals which seems impossible to sustain? I'd appreciate any advice on whether I should stick with the 1200, or if I need to be calculating differently.

Thank you :)

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