Hello!
So about 4 years ago I was pretty fit, going to the gym regularly and maintaining a healthy weight. Then I tore my ACL snowboarding, and proceeded to gain about 35lbs or so over the course of a couple years, all the while not working out. Got surgery and went through the rehab process and got to a good spot, but never fully felt back to normal in my knee.
I then got diagnosed with mild fatty liver disease, and I have horrible anxiety so thinking about having that makes me terribly worried all the time. I also occasionally have sharp pains in my upper right abdomen as a result. I got this diagnosis when I was at about 225lbs. My doctor told me if I can manage to lose about 10% of my body weight, I should be good to go. Fast forward about a year, and despite having a "weight loss mental" and counting calories when I remember to, I am now at 252lbs, 5'10, which is the most I've ever weighed.
I physically can feel that I'm in the worst shape of my life. I feel as though I have a "fresh start" every 2 weeks, I always start strong but it never sticks, and somehow I end up GAINING weight. I have a horrible body image, so that leads me to not eat because it makes me feel fat, and then I binge eat afterward. I weigh myself every other day and seeing the number stagnate does horrific things to my mental.
I feel completely and absolutely stuck. I don't feel like I can just "have a fresh start and give it another go" because I have done that so many teams it feels as though it's lost it's meaning. To be honest, I feel like I just need someone to point me in the right direction, or give me a new idea or something. I have a gym membership but rarely go, I have access to a lot of fitness related things but I simply do not use them. I can't seem to avoid greasy fast food for more than 5 days or so. I know it's about calories in and calories out, but if I stay up and can't sleep I always end up eating something. My head feels like it's spinning with all these facts that I know about weight loss, and the fact that I feel as though I have all the knowledge needed for success but still can't pull through is one of the most hopeless abysmal feelings I have ever had.
I know this is a bit of a vague post but I just feel so desperate to be given some direction or inspiration to really pull through and lose this weight, and the liver disease background makes me feel as though I am on the clock to do so. It does not help having this horrific anxiety.
Literally anything and everything helps, and thank you for taking the time to read my senseless ramble. Stories of people who felt this way and succeeded would be especially great to me right now. Thanks all.
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