I finally made it to one-derland – a milestone I never thought I’d see!
The last time I saw a number on the scale that began with a 1 was college (which, for me, was many years ago!) – and even then, it was followed by a 9, and it was after I spent an entire summer literally starving myself and exercising upwards of 4 hours per day. Needless to say, that wasn’t a sustainable weight loss plan, and I packed all the weight back on and then some. I have been overweight since middle school, and likely considered medically obese since high school. At my heaviest, I was around 265 lbs (5’3” female). After numerous failed dieting attempts, I’d given up on the idea that I would ever be able to achieve a
healthy weight, and had kind of decided to “let myself go” – eating whatever I want and excusing myself from pretty much any form of physical activity, telling myself I was just destined to be overweight.
I wouldn’t say I didn’t care anymore. I was just in denial about how truly unhealthy I really was, and I’d
convinced myself that the version of me captured in photos was just “bad angles” that didn’t reflect what I actually look like. It’s impressive the things we can convince ourselves of when we want to believe them badly enough. I really started to believe that weight loss just wasn’t possible for me long-term.
That came to a head last year when someone captured a candid photo of me playing in the floor with my toddler nieces and nephews. The photographer’s intent was to capture a sweet memory for me, but all I saw was how unhealthy I looked. The difference between this photo and the hundreds of others I’d denied over the years was that this one wasn’t just about vanity. Sure, liking the way I look in a photo would be a perk, but this was about being the best version of myself I could be for the people in my life, and being healthy enough to do the things I want to be able to do.
I spent the next month cleaning up my diet and hitting the gym, and I did see some weight loss, but I struggled terribly with food noise just like all the times before. I was terrified I’d eventually “fall off the wagon” like I have so many times before, and I was determined not to let that happen. Last summer, I wound up doing something I used to swear I’d never do: I started taking a GLP-1, and it has honestly been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. (Disclaimer: I totally understand that they are not for everyone, and I do want to be clear that I am in no way suggesting it is a necessity for weight loss. I’m just being honest about what finally made the difference for me.)
Anyway, I don’t know how else to recognize this important milestone in my journey. People who’ve never struggled with their weight the way I have cannot appreciate what a big deal it is for me to see a number on the scale like 199.4, but I know there are people here who can, so I’m coming to you guys. If there is someone reading this who is just starting their journey, I know this sounds cliche, but seriously, IF I CAN DO IT, SO CAN YOU!! I am the last person I ever thought was capable of losing 60+ lbs given my history of failed yo-yo dieting.
In addition to the number on the scale, I’m also celebrating two non-scale victories: First and most
importantly, my blood pressure has improved so much. I was hovering between Hypertension 1 and
Hypertension 2 prior to starting my weight loss journey, and now, my doctor describes my numbers asincredibly good (116/64). Secondly, my appearance has changed drastically, and with that, so has my confidence. I don’t think I’ve ever felt better in my own body. I still have a little ways to go, but here’s to now
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