Slowly working up the courage to seek out help for my eating disorders [320 ->200= 120 Lbs lost]

Oh yeah, prawnofthedead? He's that _______ guy. While I can't know for sure what someone says about me when Im not around, this blank has always been filled with the word fat. I have been obese all my life, trekking into the morbid category towards the beginning of 2017. Once I reached about 320 pounds I decided to care about my health.

Not a single person in the world knows this but I suffer from Binge Eating Disorder. I often can not control myself around food, and I try my hardest not to put myself in a situation with unlimited food such as a buffet or a catered event. I found that through very intense exercise, high (dangerous) caloric deficits, and purging, I would be able to lose enough weight to get myself out of the obese designation. I am still fat, unattractive, angry, anxious, upset, and a litany of other things about how bad I let it get.

This is not an inspirational story nor a cautionary tale. Just hoping to show that a fat guy can suffer from eating disorders too. I hope that I will gain the courage to seek therapy. Right now I can't even handle compliments on my weight loss without severe anxiety. I HATE HATE HATE talking about myself or my transformation to the extent where if I see someone I haven't seen in a long time and I know they're going to bring it up in conversation, I leave the room. This mental issue will hopefully one day be resolved with therapy or maybe I will mature out of this.

Today is my 22nd birthday. I have a variety of eating disorders. Maybe, just maybe, I will be more than just a fat guy.

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Weight Loss has sent me back to my sewing machine

First, thank you to this sub and those on it. I so appreciate the discussion and support.

My current weight loss journey has resulted in a number of my clothes being too big. I learned to sew in grammar school and used to actually make some simple clothes in high school. I have a cheap sewing machine which I bought to make basement curtains over 20 years ago. I am about midpoint to my goal weight so I thought I would try to figure out how to tailor stuff to avoid the time and expense of taking them to someone else.

The experiment has gone pretty well with the exception of one pair of ponte pants that are now the correct size but a bit lumpy in the waistband.

Here is the primary of the dozens of YouTube videos that I have found to be helpful: How To Adjust The Size of Women's Pants Waists

https://www.youtube.com/attribution_link?a=tT-GwNxkkZc&u=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpkDd6_aZn6M%26feature%3Dshare

I don't think I will ever be a particularly talented seamstress but I do seem to be catching on to this little by little.

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New York City Marathon–Tips & Must See Course Highlights with Healthy Happier Bear Podcast

Today I’m talking with Ashley Diamond from My Healthy Happier Life – she’s run and spectated the New York City Marathon several times and she’s a New Yorker so she’s sharing the best tips on how to prep for the course, what you need to know for race morning plus tips for spectators.

I ran the race in 2013 but she’s the expert so we hit all the bases including – the one food you MUST eat while in NYC (spoiler: it’s NOT pizza!?). And most of the tips can help you prepare for any race – any distance! We get into timing your pre-run food and making friends and more!

It’s a really fun conversation too – I forgot until she mentioned  – we first met at The Reach the Beach Relay race years ago that we go way back!

We’re sharing a lot of tips and kinda hang out with us on this episode!

In case you’re new here… I’m Monica Olivas – a marathon runner, marathon eater and podcaster in Southern California. I started RunEatRepeat.com to share my running and weight loss story – it grew into an amazing community online and now it’s this podcast. Thank you for listening!

Podcast Warm Up:

I ran the Revel Marathon Big Bear . And I’m talking to you … so I didn’t die.

But I did get a little sick right before the race and I did this interview with Ashley the day after so I’m a mouth breather and sound a lil congested. Gross. But if you run faster it sounds better … so speed up!

I shared a short race recap here >>> Revel Marathon Big Bear Top 10 Highlights

But let’s talk about how it really went down…

I realized I was getting sick on Thursday and tried to fight it off with sleep and vitamin C. But I had a fancy VIP trip to Disneyland planned for Friday and couldn’t bail on that. So… I got a lil sick. It was mostly mocos and mouth breathing.

Saturday… I got up early and bought new tires for my car because I was driving all the way to Redlands with my only friend and wanted her to be safe. And my brother told me it’s not smart to be driving on flat old tires so… yeah.

On the way there SR was hungry and I realized I hadn’t eaten lunch so we stopped at Chick Fil A around 4:30pm. This wasn’t the best pre-race meal but SR lives in Alaska where there’s no Chick Fil A and I live in a fantasy world without reason.

We got our bibs and went to my Nino and Nina’s house – they’re about an hour from me and were about 20 minutes from the shuttle bus pick up for the race.

Revel Big Bear starts up the mountain in Big Bear so you have to park and take a shuttle to the start line. It takes almost an hour to get to the start! So SR scared me because she kept worrying that she’d have to pee on the bus so she ducked out of line to pee somewhere and then I thought I should and might have peed on SR’s Boston Marathon poncho. And we’ll find out if she listens to the show if she tells me something about it. Boom.

Race – last week I set a few goals for myself, mostly because I felt like just saying – I’m running a marathon. K. Bye. – and leaving it at that was awkward.

My goals were:

A. Run a sub-4 hour marathon

B. Finish the marathon strong – run smart, pay attention to fuel and how I feel to learn from it

C. Finish.

D. Not die.

 

I hit my goal and ran it in 3:50:47. Pace 8:48.

Notes: I never really felt like I got in the zone. When you’re running 26 miles and aren’t going for a PR – I like to get to a pace where I feel like ‘I can do this all day’. [ How to Pace Yourself for a Marathon ]

I felt kinda meh the whole time. It felt like it took more effort than it should have given the paces I was running trying to keep it easy. There are a lot of reasons I didn’t feel 100% – my fitness level, the altitude or me being a lil under the weather or my nerves or crappy fueling or stomach … ?? But I am happy that despite not feeling great I did it!

I stopped at the restrooms 2x and took my time.

I wanted to walk the rest of the race around mile 19. I walked through the water station and had SR take some pics of me around that point.

I didn’t want to quit but I wanted to just walk it in the last 6 miles. But SR kept bugging me and we argued. And she was quiet for a bit and then started again and I got mad.

But I’m glad she pushed me because I am proud of how I did.

And I’m extra grateful she came out to run this race with me because I’ve registered for several marathons in the last year and a half and either stepped down to the half or back out all together of every single one.

I probably would’ve done that again – so SR deserves all the credit that I ran a whole marathon.

And I feel a lot better about myself and my abilities now. It’s not about the time – it’s that I didn’t think I could.

This is Barles Hambone aka my only friend aka Skinny Runner aka Mayor of Alaska aka …

And with that…

I’ll remind you there are Race Discounts for RNR LA – RNR VEGAS – LEXUS LACE UP and more!

Check out the Race Discounts Page for more!!

Now let’s get to the Main Event:

 

New York City Marathon Training, Race Day and What to Eat – The Best Tips Podcast

Ashley Diamond is a runner, blogger, wife and mom working in e-commerce in New York City. She’s run and spectated the New York City Marathon several times and considers it her favorite race. Today I’m asking her for all the best tips on training, race morning, the course and where to eat. She’s currently training for a half marathon and you can keep up with her at My Healthy Happier Life

Tips for the NYC Marathon – How to have the best race day at one of the best races in the US!

1. Let’s start with training…

What’s the NYC Marathon course like? Any specific training we should incorporate?

– What’s the course like?

– Start time / Logistics is challenging… how do you train for that with fuel & hydration?

What and when to eat race morning!

2. Tips for the expo?

She’s volunteered at the expo a few times too!

3. Race day Tips and Reminders:

NYC Marathon start line logistics are very unique! When I ran it I took a bus to the start line. But I think you’ve taken a ferry? Let’s talk about our race morning experiences & tips for each.

– The options to get to the start.

– Plan / Pack Fuel

– Throw away gear

– Corrals / Running with Friends

– How to find your people after the race – great tips for spectators! What to wear, where to stand and other notes to make sure you don’t miss your cheerleaders.

4. The Course

I think the best thing about the race is the amazing crowd support. There’s nothing like it.

What is your favorite part of the NYC Marathon course?

What should runners make sure to enjoy?

5. Victory Lap – (Best Food / Fun in the city)

What is the BEST post race victory lap?

All her running favorites:

> Favorite race / distance to run? Half Marathon – she’s going for a sub- 2 hour half marathon this weekend!

> What are your favorite running shoes? Brooks Levitate 2 – good support and cushion & bright colors

> Must Have Running Gear? Apple Air Pods – they stay in place and stand up to sweat // Brooks Greenlight 7” Shorts (they’re my fave too)

> What did you listen to on your last run / workout? Running Podcasts – Ali on the Run, Another Mother Runner, Hustle…

> What’s your favorite post-run / post- race victory lap? Burger & Fries

 

You can follow her on Instagram @Healthy Happier and her blog is My Healthy Happier Life

Tips for Spectators of the NYC Marathon via Healthy Happier Life

NYC Marathon Recap via Healthy Happier Life

I ran New York in 2013 – here’s my blog recap of the race and pictures:

NYC Marathon Expo

New York City Marathon Race Recap – there are a lot of pics in there too

(I think the only post-race picture I have was with Ben) I was freezing after the race and just wanted to find him and get inside. He was watching the race with friends and as soon as they found me they snapped a pic of use together and we headed inside.

 

Awards:

1st place goes to SR aka Skinny Runner aka @BarlesHambone for being my only friend, photographer, and agreeing to sleep with me but not actually touching me.

2nd place – Brooks Running sent me a pair of the special edition NYC Marathon running shoes! They are so fun! I love them!!

If you have a question or a topic you’d like me to cover for an upcoming podcast… let me know!

Email me at RunEatRepeat@gmail.com with Podcast in the subject line or call the RER voicemail.

Hi! Let me know what you’re doing while you listen by tagging @RunEatRepeat on instagram

[ Photos courtesy of The Healthy Happier Bear on Instagram and Facebook ]

The post New York City Marathon–Tips & Must See Course Highlights with Healthy Happier Bear Podcast appeared first on Run Eat Repeat.

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Obese to Normal Weight. 85lbs shredded. My journey to discovering a new life style.

HEY /r/loseit !
Brace yourselves because this is going to be a really, really long post.
Skip to the bottom for the tl;dr to see the summary and pictures.

Introduction

Hey. I created this Reddit account over a year ago and joined this subreddit amongst a few others to help motivate myself to lose weight. What I found was a welcoming community of like minded individuals that motivated me everyday to achieve my goals. There was a period of time where I would spend hours a day reading success stories and NSV/SV posts which would motivate me further. For the record I believe I would have reached my goals without this subreddit but when I had literally no one else to share my achievements and progress with this subreddit was always there for me. I got so much out of all the motivational posts throughout those first months of my journey. I hope that I can at the very least inspire or motivate just 1 other person with this post. If I can do that that I will be happy. Thank you all :D

I've been waiting so very long to make this post so lets get into it!

Day 1

Q: So why was I so overweight to begin with?
A: Ate too much food

That is it for the most part. I also did not exercise at all but at the end of the day I was obese because I ate too much food. During the last 6 years or so I had become naturally less active as I studied at university and started working office jobs. I stopped playing sport and became less active in general. I was really uneducated about food. More on this later. I was full of /r/fatlogic.

My day 1 started in an odd way. I was watching the /r/anime Hunter × Hunter and the protagonist (a young strong energetic boy) did some sort of fighting move. I can't remember what exactly but I think it was a jump kick. I stood at and decided to imitate for fun. Not only did I fail miserably but I was so incredibly out of breath and sweating by doing such a simple task. At that moment I glanced towards my conveniently placed wardrobe mirrors and was filled with utter disappointment. That was a very low point in my life. I vowed then and there to stop ignoring my issue and make a change. The very next day was my Day 1.

You can see my /r/loseit post: Starting My Journey

To date my journey has been ongoing for 470 days or 15 months.

Starting the Journey (Day 1 - Month 1)

I dived right into learning about food and exercise. That is just how I am. I don't recommend this for everyone but when I get motivated to do something I usually give 110% and then some. Anyway, within a few days I had learnt about CICO. I learnt that I ate around 2800-3200 calories a day at the time. I learnt that my eating habits weren't terribly bad. I did eat chocolates and other junk foods but not a crazy amount. Maybe 600 calories of junk food a day. Still a fair bit but where was all this weight coming from?
RICE!
F@#$ing rice. As a middle easterner, we eat a lot of rice. I discovered I was eating around 6+ portions of rice every single lunch. Something like 1200 calories of rice per lunch. That's excluding the side dish. I also ate something like 800 calories of rice again for dinner. So 2000 calories of just rice. Every Single Day. Wow. I also noted some other things. I had way too much milk with my breakfast cereal. I would drink all the remaining milk also after the cereal was done. Something like 3 cups of full cream milk (750ml) with my cereal.

So, I ended up coming up with a 1500 calorie diet plan. Yes this jump is big, 2800kcal+ diet to 1500kcal+ diet. Please consult a dietitian/nutritionist for your needs. The first day was terrible. All I could think of was food. I was hungry around the clock and very weak. The next day was no better but I still stuck to it. Week 1 wen't by, okay a little better, not too hungry anymore, drinking a lot of water helps. Week 2 still weak some days but not too bad. Week 3, pretty good. Week 4, 1500 kcals is normal now, sometimes I feel like its too much food. I've adapted to cope with 1500 kcals.

Exercise wise, I'm walking/jogging on the treadmill on one of the lowest settings. But hey it makes me sweat.

Mid-Way (Month 1 - Month 5)

Same thing on-going. CICO and exercise. Exercise mainly to feel better and I feel real benefits. I feel more energetic throughout the day. I'm not as tired anymore. I can lose colds much more easily now. I use to have a cold for like half the year but now I lose colds in 0.5-2 days? What is this magic? Trivial tasks like walking up stairs or jogging to catch a bus no longer make we sweat. Resting heart rate is lowered. Doc says I'm no longer at risk of getting diabetics and cholesterol is lower. 1500 kcals still feels normal and great. I go off track sometimes but nothing major. I'm extremely strict with my calorie counting. Never underestimate, always over estimate. Always scale everything, don't blindly trust packaging. Avoid eating out as much as possible. If eating out, something healthy if possible, Subway was my goto.

Road Bump (Month 5 - Month 11)

At this point I was at a very decent weight. I had lost most of what I wanted to lose. Slowly but surely stopped tracking food on tracking apps. Thought I could eyeball it. Slowly begin eating more and more thinking "its not much". Stop weighing myself weekly like I used to. Start eating out more. Gain like 5kg/11lbs initially then maintain at 83kg/182lbs for months on end. Stop exercising. Go from running every day to 4 times a week to once a week to nothing. Then have a really terrible month (where I start snacking too much but regular meal portions still under control) and gain a lot of weight. Jump on scale and it reads 90kg/198lbs. Okay heading back in the opposite direction now in major way, need to get things back into gear.

Back on Track (Month 11 - Month 15)

Counting calories is back. Goal is still 1500 kcals. Bring back good habits like weekly weigh in, strict scaling. Start losing again. Then the weight just kept going down. Experiment with food a little. Eat out once or twice a week max. Routine is pretty solid. Exercise is very solid. Make sure I run 4 times a week no matter what. I'm happy with getting back on track. I didn't gain it all back, only a tiny bit before I started losing again. Need to maintain what I'm doing 24/7 as a life style to ensure I don't even have hiccups like that.

Difference of Weight Loss

Here I'm going to outline the actual before/after differences of losing that weight for me.

Topic	Before	After
Energy Levels	Constantly tired. Even after 12+ hours of sleep. Sleep a lot. Feel sluggish after 10am.	Energetic all the time. Feel fantastic after early morning runs. Can break into running a 5km/3miles at any time of day just like that.
Amount of Food Consumed	Eat a lot of food. Eat a lot of rice. Spend a lot of money on junk food/eating out.	Eat less food. Save more money. Eat out less, cook more.
Food Education	Didn't know much about food nutritional/calories in food	Now I know what I need to know to eat healthy portions.
Snack Consumption	Ate snacks and felt guilty.	Eat snacks/cakes etc on special occasions without feeling guilt. Calculated and planned and worked into my controlled diet.
/r/fatlogic	I'm fat because bad genes, X person eats more junk food than me and is skinny, so lucky	No they just don't eat 2000 kcals of rice daily. Work hard, focus on yourself.
Bus Seats	No one ever sat next to me on bus even with seats open. Took up 1.5 seats, can't blame them.	People sit on bus next to me. Yay they fit.
Girls	Not many female friends. 0 confidence to talk to girls	More female friends. More confidence when talking to girls ;)
Immune System	Got sick a lot. Every cold stayed with me 2 weeks min	Can now lose colds in 0.5-2 days. Not sure if related but its insane.
Heart Rate	High resting heart rate. Any movement = sweat and high BPM	Lower resting heart rate. Can jog modest pace endlessly with lowish heart rate.
Blood Tests	Had a few issues. Was at risk of getting diabetics. Cholesterol levels not so good.	No longer at risk. Blood tests show normal levels for everything.
Anime Stunt Double	Couldn't do stupid jump kick	Can do that jump kick no sweat now :)

Advice to others

• Motivate yourself as much as possible. You can do this!
• Don't let others get you down. Don't be fooled by others fatlogic.
• Doctors/Dietitians/Nutritionists give solid, scientific based suggestions but you don't have to blindly follow them. I understand this is a controversial topic here but my nutritionist absolutely didn't want me on 1500 calories for the longest time (even by 3 month mark) and wanted me at 2000. I listened to her but after own personal research and feedback from my own body/wellbeing/history decided to continue with 1500kcals a day.
• Water is great, most of us don't get enough. Keep a bottle on you 24/7 and stay hydrated.
• Junk Food/Cake/Chocolate/Chips are fine. Yes ideally you'd have 0 junk food for the rest of your life but we're only human. I eat 25grams of chips every day (roughly 130kcals and my only snack). I also have cake on birthdays etc but plan around it by eating a smaller lunch etc.
• Exercise is great. Not only does it help you lose but it offers cardiovascular health benefits.
• Experiment with food/diets. I used to eat big breakfasts, small lunches and big dinners. This sucked for me. I now eat tiny breakfasts, huge lunches and tiny dinners. Fits my activity levels well and leaves me full around the clock. Also experiment with different types of foods. Used to eat some untasty salad for a fair amount of calories but have replaced it with frozen vegies since. I can eat more now for less calories which is great.
• Weigh yourself regularly. Always under same circumstances. Imo naked after using restroom at the same time each morning before eating anything is best. Daily or weekly is up to you. I do weekly do avoid day to day fluctuations. Also I'd recommend logging your weight somewhere (I used apps as well as an excel spreadsheet).
• Weigh everything on a scale. Try to overestimate calories by a little if you are unsure rather than underestimating.
• Find filler foods that are low calories. For me Tic Tacs and gum are amazing. Only 1-5 calories a pop and stops me from eating other junk that is way more calorie dense.
• Add vitamins to your diet. I take Fish Oil and Vitamin D. Keep in mind fish oil has a few calories, don't forget to count em!
• Never. Give. Up.

tl;dr (Too Long Didn't Read)

Used to weigh 112.4kg/248lbs | Now weigh 74.1kg/163lbs
BMI used to be: 37 | BMI is now: 24.4

Day 1 started when I couldn't replicate a jump kick move in real life that I saw in an anime. Learnt about CICO, food analysis, calories and exercise. 1500kcals a day and exercise for months. Had small rough patch in middle where I regained some of lost weight but didn't let it get too far out of hand. Have been going strong ever since.

Pictures

You can find some before and after pictures here on /r/progresspics:
https://www.reddit.com/r/progresspics/comments/9ptmve/m2458_248lbs_163lbs_85lbs_15_months_just_lose_it/?ref=share&ref_source=link

Weight log graph:
https://i.imgur.com/Kq0SzLX.png

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If I'm consistently hitting my calorie deficits, how much does it matter what I eat (aka fast food)?

I'll try to keep this short.

I'm a 6'0" 28 y/o male who started this weight-loss journey in April of 2018. I peaked at 310 pounds and was completely disgusted with myself, so I signed up at a gym and started calorie counting.

I went from ~310-280lbs from April -> June with relative ease. Then due to some unforeseen circumstances with a close family member passing, I stopped the gym/diet all of July/Aug. I didn't gain any weight, I was eating much less, but I didn't lose either.

Fast forward to Sept/Oct, I started up again and I'm now ~270 pounds with continued workout + "diet", but I feel it's not going as fast as I'd like.

According to TDEE calculator, my maintenance calories are ~2650, but instead of doing a 500 calorie deficit per day, I've been shooting for more 800-1000. I've been achieving this 6 out of 7 days of the week, yet the weight loss isn't adding up. I'm going to be honest, I'm not dieting correctly. I'm hitting the calorie goals, but it's essentially a lot of carbs/fats/sugars still. I'll still eat a burger + fries, tacos, burritos, gyros, fried chicken, pasta etc -- almost daily. Yes, those are ~800-1200 calorie meals, I basically eat that once a day, then my "final" meal is just yogurt/granola/cereal/protein shake/whatever. Something very small and <200-300 calories. I completely cut out soda from my diet, though. Only water.

Am I completely fucking myself by doing it this way? Basically eating lots of burgers, but essentially only eating "one" real meal a day and it being pretty bad for you? I mean clearly I'm losing weight, but I'm unsure how exactly carbs, sugars, and "bad fats" slow down the weight loss, despite the huge calorie deficits each day.

Thanks.

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[Daily Directory] Find your quests for the day here! - Saturday, 20 October 2018

Welcome adventurer! Whether you're new on this quest or are towards the end of your journey there should be something below for you.

Daily journal.

• [Q&A] "I have a question."
• [Day 1] "I am starting my weight loss journey."
• [SV/NSV] "I have an accomplishment to share."
• [24hr Pledge] "Today I am going to..."

Interested in some side quests?

• [Motivation Monday] Share some motivation, get some motivation.
• [Tantrum Tuesday] Need to vent? People getting on your nerves?
• [Weigh-In Wednesday]
• [Track with Me Thursday] Did we just become best friends?!
• [Free Talk Friday] What's on your mind?

Community bulletin board!

• [Running with Loseit] Run with losers. Avoid arrows.
• [Wecipe Wednesday] Swap and discuss recipies!

If you are new to the sub, click here for our posting guidelines

---

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Lacking motivation and time

I am 5'7 and around 175 pounds which is the heaviest i've ever been. Im not extremely overweight but to be a 23 year old female and being 35 pounds heavier than I'm used to is uncomfortable. My S.O. and I are in our last few semesters of our undergraduate degrees and I'm being told that he will start to develop healthier habits after he graduates and that we shouldn't worry about it right now since were so busy. I strive off of social support and competitiveness when it comes to weight loss so Im finding it difficult to become motivated and find time with such a busy schedule (full time school and 40 hour work week). I am eating out every day because i don't have time to prepare meals. This is becoming expensive and unhealthy. I get home from class/work late at night and have little to no energy to cook dinner or prepare lunch for the next day. I usually spend that time completing homework or getting household chores done. Anyone have any tips on how to stay motivated and how to acquire a healthy lifestyle while having little time to prepare meals or exercise?

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