How to deal with comments from immediate family about looking "too thin"

I'm having trouble dealing with comments from my family about my weight loss. I know they come from a place of care and concern, but they are starting to affect me emotionally.

I'm a busy person and I've basically just adopted the habit of stopping snacking. I counted my calories, learned about how weight loss worked and lost some pounds. I am 5'4" and went from 118 lbs to 110/111 lbs so it is moderately noticeable on my frame. I've done blood work and everything is fine. Every time I see my family I get asked if I'm eating enough, I get told I need to put some mass on, that if I get any thinner my organs will stop working, and it is starting to get to my head. I feel like I look healthy and feel healthy. However, these comments make me question whether I look emaciated or something. I've questioned getting back up to 115 lbs, but I'm not sure if this is just a developing insecurity from the comments.

My family consists of people who are thin, so this isn't one of those things where everyone is overweight and a healthy and/or slim body is something rare and so it looks more dramatic. My family members are all very fit and slim, so this leaves me questioning whether I need to make some changes or if they are just being paranoid.

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Need guidance with stuck weight loss.

Hi all. I started dieting seriously about a month or two ago. Since then, I started counting calories and eating around 1400 calories a day.

My starting weight was 282. I am 5’9, Male, 21

I currently weigh 259. But i’ve been stuck at this weight for almost a week plus now. I eat like 1400 calories a day. I’m frustrated, as my weight loss was going so well until the last week and now it’s stopped.

I’m a good bit overweight so i’m confused how i could be hitting a platue already... Any help would be appreciated.... I’m greatful I’ve been able to shed 20 pounds but when you’re this much overweight it doesn’t seem to make s difference tbh.

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8 months later and 100 pounds lighter

I started my journey to a healthier life 8 months ago. I had always been the bigger girl , chubby as a kid , chubby as a teen and adult.
I finally over came my demons ,my food demons . I work out 5 days a week , i walk/hike and jog 15 miles a week , 3 miles a day . Cycle 8 miles 4 days a week. 2 hours in the gym, 4 am work outs monday through Friday. I changed the way i look at food , i reduced my intake obviously and cut out all the junk . I have lost 100 lbs and still have more to go . I feel amazing . I am finally out of the plus size clothes and stores . I never thought it would happen. A life long obsession with weight loss. Trying all the fad diets just to fail miserably and gain more weight than when i started. My weight contributed a lot to my anxiety and depression. Since losing and exercising i have not had one panic attack . All my clothes look like tents on me , have to buy new clothes , best part of the weight loss . Im so proud of myself , im learning to love myself again. When you are going through something like this , the process can be overwhelming, you have to dig deep to figure out why at least for me , why i was using food as a vice . My own addiction, why i have been so unhappy, i was tired of faking the happiness , i wanted to feel it truely. .i cant wait to experience my 1st winter not a giant cow and actually feel the cold , as you know when you have a lot of insulation you tend to sweat and are always hot , i use to say , oh i just run hot to make myself feel better. No it was because i was a whale . This is my journey. But when one ED ends another lurks around the corner. But thats for a different forum . Im happy, lighter than i have ever been . Im enjoying this journey to becoming thin . I dont see myself ever getting big again, i cant get or be fat again . Fat to fit !!! Im doing this by myself, no trainers, no work out buddies all solo. But i know that in another year i will be smoking hot and so strong mentally and physically. This is the 1st time im sharing my weightloss online . I have been selfish with myself , keeping myself in the "shadows " only my very close friends have seen my progress , when we get to see each other , if you have kids and a family and home you know its nearly impossible, throw in jobs and forget about seeing each other for months on end .

I am raising from the ashes of my old fat self into a beautifully stunning fit Phoenix who soars over her city .

Feel so much better , finally get to tell my mini story on the interwebs😋💋

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Should I be hitting more than 10k steps?

So after I keep posting what feels like every 5 minutes (apologies for my newby-ness), I have a new question.

Been doing CICO and I looove it. Currently easily functioning at 1200 calories.

I kinda wanted to bump up my loss by adding some kind of not horrendous exercise in. I’ve recently been given a Fitbit type thing so decided I will walk for an hour with my boy to start my day and get my steps 10k or above for the whole day. The reason I decided to do this was because then you count as no longer sedentary but ‘active’. I was just wondering if this was the case? Or if I should be doing more?

I sometimes add in those 15 min YouTube work out videos as that’s the easiest thing for me to do while the crotch goblin is running around.

Just wanted some advice really on if 10k steps is enough to boost my weight loss?

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SV: Today I reached my pre-kid weight!

For my 2016 New Year's resolution, I wanted to lose the 40-odd pounds I'd gained over the course of 2015 and then resume the weight loss journey I'd started back in 2014. Then in the middle of January (2016),I found out I was pregnant with my first child.

Long story for another sub short, pregnancy was very hard on me. I felt like I was starving all the time, and used the fact I felt terrible to justify eating whatever I wanted ("I'm going to get fat anyway, why bother worrying?" "I feel like crap, so I might as well eat what I want and feel good that way.") Going into my pregnancy I was already obese, so I was high risk for a bunch of complication that I amazingly managed to miss. No gestational diabetes, no blood pressure issues, I was mobile...so because I was only fat, I just kept on as I was. By the end of my pregnancy, I'd gained 65 pounds and was just under 290 pounds total. I hated catching sight of myself in the mirror, and I avoided photos because I didn't want to look back on the birth of my daughter and dwell on how fat I was. I tried to lose the weight postpartum, but a difficult newborn period and exhaustion made it very hard to overcome the urge to eat whatever I thought would make me feel better. It didn't help that I was a stress eater, or that we planned to try for another baby after a year. Whenever I had a setback, I'd just ask myself "why bother? You're just going to get pregnant again and gain a ton of weight and undo everything you accomplish anyway." In December 2017, I found out I was pregnant with my son, and I'd only lost 25 pounds from my previous pregnancy.

Pregnancy was hard again, but once again I managed to avoid pretty much all obesity-related complications. This time, though, I tried to be more mindful of what I ate and make somewhat smarter choices. It helped that this would be our last child, so I didn't have the thought of future pregnancy weight as a crutch to justify bad choices (and yes, I realize my current pregnancy both times should have helped motivate me more, but man...pregnancy is hard.). At the end of the pregnancy, I'd gained 50 pounds, and hit a new lifetime high: 289 pounds. But this time, I wanted to put that number far, far, far behind me.

With my husband, I made a plan for self-care and weight loss postpartum. Due to reasons, I wouldn't be breastfeeding my son so I wouldn't need to factor those calories into my days. We stocked the house with healthy snacks (Bananas, apples, berries; carrot and celery sticks, granola bars, almonds) which I pre-portioned into containers so there would always be something easy and close at hand when I was up with the baby. We resumed menu-planning and started making a conscious effort to balance heavier meals (like scalloped potatoes and ham) with lighter meals (bean and cauliflower curry!). I would always take a little time to exercise, whether it was walking the dog, walking with the kids, or just going up and down the stairs! And most of all, I wouldn't beat myself up over setbacks OR use them to justify further binging.

Today I stepped on the scale and I weighed 215.2 pounds. The day I found out I was pregnant with my first back in 2016, I weighed 218. I can't even begin to say how excited I am; I had a whoosh as well, so I made my husband weigh himself to make sure the scale wasn't messing with me!

How I did it: After my initial 40 pound water weight loss (THAT was a whoosh!) good old CICO! I logged into MFP the day after my son was born and entered my stats, cringing the whole time, but then I just started logging EVERYTHING. Every almond, every carrot stick, every ounce of meat. I brought out our food scale from the depths of the cupboard and used it to be sure I was putting in exactly 8 ounces of chicken, eating exactly one ounce of peanuts. It was eye-opening to see how small an ounce of X was, and that spurred me to start making different choices. A cup of broccoli and cauliflower is 35 calories, while a cup of basmati rice is 200; instead of doing all rice, I'd do half rice, half cauliflower. Instead of having a candy bar (220 calories), I'd eat a chocolate chip granola bar (100 calories). And if I indulged and went over? I'd log those too! I always have had the weird mentality of "if I don't log it, the calories don't count" which is ridiculous; logging everything has made me squirm a few times, but those numbers just remind me that I need to be more mindful. I haven't cut anything out of my diet, but I've definitely cut back on a lot.

I'm also trying to move more; I bought a FitBit, and I wear it all the time. My daily step goal is 5k (I used to average about 3k), and I reach it by running around with the kids, parking further back at the store, doing chores around my house...basic stay at home mom things. As my baby gets older, I plan to start doing more actual dedicated exercise, but for now we're just in survival mode!

I have a ways to go before hitting my ultimate goal of 155 pounds. I haven't been that low since I was a 5th grader, so I know it will be a massive challenge. But right now I'm trying to lay down the building blocks of good habits and I'm stoked to have hit my pre-kid goal; if I can be healthy and in good shape for my family, then I know I'll be a winner!

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Am I thinking about/calculating my TDEE correctly?

Hi, not sure where to post this so hopefully this is a good place.

So I’ve used the TDEE calculator online and gotten my numbers but I’ve also heard that TDEE pretty much changes every day if you aren’t consistent which I am not.

SO

It gave me my BMR as ~1700 calories. Which, as I understand it, is what my body burns just existing.

The rest of the calories are ones that I burn through movement. At sedentary my maintenance calories are ~2,000 which puts me at a ~1500 calorie deficit on my tracking apps.

But that’s below my BMR, which I heard is dangerous and has bad health side effects, so I would like to stop eating so little.

Which means I need to up my amount of exercise.

If I put that I am lightly active my calorie goal changes. My new number with a deficit is ~1900 and maintenance at ~2400. Which is a lot better and safer if I’m thinking about this the right way.

So in order to keep my maintenance calories at 2400, I need to burn 700 calories everyday through exercise and movement? Is that what is generally considered lightly active?

if I eat the 1900 calories and burn the 700 calories everyday will that work for weight loss?

And it doesn’t just equal me eating 1200 because I burned 700 of what I ate? (I’m really scared about eating below my BMR because I’ve been doing it for months when I shouldn’t have...)

I use Apple Watch (series 2) to track how many calories I burn throughout the day. Does anyone know how accurate the watch is? The last few days I’ve been burning 700+ according to the tracker. I’m just scared it’s wrong because I don’t really know how it works.

Bonus question about your opinions. What do you think about setting your calorie goal on an app like MFP to your maintenance calories and just being under that goal by around 500 calories everyday? So that way you can know exactly how much of a deficit you had and how much you can push it before leaving maintenance? Can’t decide if I like the sound of that better than just putting in my goal with the deficit already in it.

TL;DR:

1. How many calories do I have to burn everyday through exercise if I need to eat 1700 calories to exist and want a deficit of at least 500?

2. What range of calories burned a day is considered lightly active? Heavily active?

3. How accurate is the Apple Watch when tracking active calories burned? How do fitness trackers like these work and know how much you burned?

Any help appreciated! Hopefully I’m not thinking about this completely wrong lol

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How to lose past one’s “normal” overweight range after stalling for a year?

I’ll try to keep this simple. I started CICO about 1.5 years ago. I was 227, down from my highest at 238. I lost about 50 pounds pretty steadily, but haven’t made progress for almost a year now. I think it’s because I got back to the 180s, where I was for most of high school and college before gaining more.

On the plus side: I cook and eat nutritious meals, feel healthy, do moderate but enjoyable exercise, feel pretty good about myself as a person, and have a supportive partner who loves me as I am.

I afraid that I am a bit complacent because of these factors and don’t make as strict of an effort with weight loss anymore.

On the downside: I’ve been overweight and obese my whole life. I have a family history of diabetes and heart disease (though I’ve shown no signs of any health problems). My confidence is affected by never having been conventionally attractive. I still don’t have a solid relationship with food and impulsively eat, though I wouldn’t call it binge eating per the more diagnostic criteria.

I’m just sort of hovering in this range, regaining and losing the same 10 pounds, and I want to understand the psychological aspect better.

So, -For my long-term day people: how did you change your vision of yourself to be as a smaller person? I have no concept of myself as normal sized, let alone thin. How do you keep going?

-Like many people, I’ve dealt with sexual assault and harassment and still sort of identity being “hot” with being a risk factor. (But fat people get assaulted too, unfortunately, and this isn’t a logical correlation.)

-When I cook 100% of my food, I can eat 1200 calories, feel satiated, and meet my nutritional goals. However, when I leave home I crave sweets, or have trouble with tracking and portions if another person cooks for me. So, if I mostly eat healthy but don’t cut out sweets or food not cooked by me completely, I feel like I’m in a loop of maintaining this weight range. I feel hesitant to make a hard rule like ‘no sugar ever’, or ‘I must cook 100% of my food.’ I don’t want my relationship with food to get too restrictive, or to feel like a failure if I break the rule. (I know Keto can help with sugar cravings, but my diet is largely veggies. I don’t want to restrict nutritious, local veggies so I’m reticent to try it.)

Considerations: the only time I’ve gotten under 180 was by living off the grid, cooking everything over a fire and fasting a lot. I can’t recreate these circumstances, and I didn’t maintain that weigh loss. I’ve never been treated for mental health, but a couple of members of my family have depression. Due to living abroad, language barriers, health insurance, and location I’m not able to access counseling or therapy.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you have any experiences to share, or suggestions, I’d appreciate reading them.

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