I am 21f and 5’1, 130 lbs. That is on the edge of healthy weight but pushing overweight. I know I could be a lot worse off. I just have the hardest time getting motivated and staying on track.
I started this past January at 130 and was determined to get down to 115. I started tracking my calories & drinking water only. I live in the south and drink a lot, a LOT, of sweet tea and soda. With no exercise and just better eating habits I got down to 117 by the end of April. I had started feeling comfortable in my skin again at 120. But then in May, my grandpa got really sick. He and my dog (first dog I ever had, he was 12 years old) died 2 days apart. I stopped tracking my calories and started drinking soda/tea again, got up to 125ish. Got a new job because I had to quit my old one to take time off to grieve - I’m a waitress, we get a ton of free food, and the food is insanely good. Unlimited access to soda and tea. Here I am again, at 130.
I realllllyyyy want to start try and lose weight and keep it off again. I just have zero willpower. It is impossible for me to turn down the constant gourmet food at my job or not pour myself a soda. I have no energy to exercise. I just eat and feel really bad about myself, and get mad because I don’t know why I can’t just NOT do those things. Like why I can’t just drink water. Or why I can’t just drink the food. But then in the moment I have zero will power and I do it. I know a lot of people gain weight at my age because of alcohol, but I rarely drink. It’s seriously just drinks and desserts - literally just sugar - that’s gotten me here. I am 100% addicted to sugar and it’s affecting me in every way, from my teeth to my weight to my energy. I feel like my diet is almost all sugar and if I cut it out cold turkey I could lose 10 lbs in two weeks or less.
It is especially upsetting because I was never over 105lbs in high school, and even then I had a poor self image and always thought I looked chubby. I was between 108-115 my first couple of years of college. And then when I started dating my now boyfriend is when I got up to 130. We both have a bad soda drinking habit and neither of us can commit. And we both like to eat good food. He has gained weight since we started dating too, from 160 to 178, but he is 6’0 so it doesn’t really show.
Anyways. I had just come across some late high school/early college pictures and I looked so skinny. And it wasn’t even that long ago and I look so different, even in my face and arms, not just my stomach. My grandma on my dad’s side was bulimic and underweight, and my grandma on my mom’s side was clinically obese, so I have some pretty conflicting genes here. I have just never had healthy eating habits and have never exercised aside from walking around at my job all day. All I want is to develop some good habits and stick to them. I would love to be at 115 by the summer.
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