"You've lost too much weight" "I'm worried about you"

I'm a 24 year old, 5 foot tall, 132 pound female.

I come from a culture/family that prefers women to be a bit overweight but when I was 14, I was pushing morbid obesity at 200+ pounds. I've struggled with being committed and serious to my weight loss, slowly going from over 200 pounds to 160 in high school from minor changes in my diet, gaining up to 170 and then going down to 134 just by going vegan and a bit of semi-regular exercise when I got serious about losing weight, maintaining around 140 for a few years until quarantine when I ended up quitting veganism and not being able to exercise and a major increase in my depression made me gain up to 170 again.

Over the past year, I've started my weight loss journey again and lost around 40 pounds but recently my mom said I was "getting too skinny". I'm not even close to skinny but I grew up with my mom (and other family members) making comments on the bodies of average women and calling them bones, saying that skinny women have bad posture because their stomach's are concave, saying that men don't like "dry bones".

She said something similar years ago when I was previously losing weight, I only just got under 140 and she started scrutinizing me and saying that I needed to stop, I lost enough weight, she was worried about me. Those constant comments really discouraged me and made me insecure and weirdly guilty, leading me to fall off my weight loss plan because I kept making myself eat something in front of her so she would stop talking about it and that led me into eating the chips and cookies and whatever else I was craving that we had at home.

At 5'0" a healthy weight for me should be somewhere between 97 pounds to 127. I want to go down to somewhere between 98 and 116 pounds as a personal goal because I don't know what I look like slim but I'll probably start maintaining my weight once I feel content with my physical form.

I'm not going to let myself be stopped this time but it's so discouraging to be accused of an eating disorder and starving myself now that I'm back to learning about how much I actually need to eat, recognizing my actual hunger cues, and satisfying my bodily needs while losing weight.

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actually seeing a difference is so motivating

i'm nowhere near where i want to be, but the progress i've made with my weight loss is getting more and more noticeable. parts of my body are disappearing and i'm starting to have a neck again. it's not only the changes to my body that are noticeable, either. my diet is surprising even to me these days. i'm not buying junk the way i used to at all and it's finally dawned on me that a chocolate bar is an appropriate serving size, not an entire box of chocolates. and even then, it shouldn't be eaten every day. as i limit my intake, i'm getting sensitive about spiking my blood sugar and if it happens, it's all i can do to stay awake when i crash. i love that my body has gotten so sensitive.

that being said, tomorrow is my birthday and i know there's going to be cake and that's fine. i also work tomorrow and have a 45 minute lunch, but when i got home late today, i wasn't feeling motivated about packing anything. i used my birthday as an excuse for going out to lunch instead. i then thought of the way a sandwich on my homemade bread with an orange, an apple and water would make me feel versus a fast food lunch and a soda. also, i looked in the mirror while i was changing my shirt, and saw something new about my gut from a different angle that i liked. i went and packed my lunch. i don't want to spoil any of this progress.

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Weird reactions to my weight loss

Hey ya'll,

So here I am, 28 pounds lighter standing tallish at 5'7". I never carried my weight poorly. I don't think I was ever ugly or unattractive. However, medicine made me gain serious and fast a few years ago. I have fought hard and dropped from 168 to 140. Today I went in to the office after 2 years go pick up my old things for my home office. I don't want to start commuting again. The admin lady greeted me and we had a nice catch up. She said, "Your figure looks different (she's French she meant it not in the way you think exactly). Did something change?" I told her, "I lost 25 pounds". I had been an early covid case and she replied, "I hope it wasn't because of covid". "Some of it was actually". I didn't think much of it and packed up my stuff and left. Back home I realized that oh cool someone noticed my weight loss! Especially notable since in the mirror I still can't see it. I phone my mom to tell her. My mom has been the biggest spoiler of my weight loss journey ever. She will ply me with doughnuts, chips, McDonald's, KFC, chocolates, everything you can imagine. Then she will tell me I'm too fat to wear certain clothes etc etc. Totally fucked up right? Yes, I know. I've spoken to her many times about it. Pick a lane. You want a chubby but healthy daughter then continue but then you can't make fun of the chubbiness. You want a thin beautiful daughter, stop with the doughnuts and make me a salad. Anyways, I told my mother what my colleague said and her response was, "You called to tell me that? Of course she noticed. You don't have that extra layer of fat anymore." Like...that IS true. But also, what the fuck? Couldn't she have just said, that's nice or asked how it made me feel? Clearly it made me feel something to call my mother in London about it.

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My best advice after weight loss: no matter what, weigh in once a week!

I lost 50 pounds 2019-2021. In the last few years, even when things have gotten busy and I haven’t stuck to exercising or eating habits, weighing in once a week has kept me honest with myself! I keep in mind how normal fluctuations are, but if week after week I’m seeing an increase, I know what’s happening. I also give myself a range/weight that I don’t want to go over. I just wanted to put this out there as a good post weight loss tip! It’s something that has really helped me stay where I want to be.

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Making the weight loss process exciting with less material incentives?

Current situation: I’ve been on a steady weight loss journey. I don’t have impulses to binge. I have one cheat meal with friends per week. I work out moderately only 3 times week. My self discipline has been pretty good. So far I’ve lost 30lbs since March 2021.

Problem: However now I’m just tired of the process. I have a target weight, but I don’t want to rush the process, because I don’t want this to result into crash dieting. I did the math and I could get there by August 2022 but it just feels like its taking forever. I am losing 3-5lbs a month and don’t want to increase it. I have been consulting a doctor, dietician, and therapist this entire time.

Roadblock: Overall, I’m trying to avoid material incentives / money spending incentives because I had a shopping addiction. I also am trying to avoid spending money In general.

Things I’ve tried (while habit stacking):

• making mood boards of clothing pieces I want to wear in the summer that I already own, encouraging me to visualize and affirm my future self

• changing up my workouts and strengthening different parts of my body, which means I need to eat healthy to do so efficiently

• using vacations with friends as “benchmarks” of my weight loss journey and surround myself with positive, uplifting energy

• trying different types of green teas, vegetables, fruits, etc. and cooking methods to change up my diet while exploring nutrients

• resting and taking breaks at night, while listening to a good audio book

And while all of those are somewhat helpful, they’re just not making things exciting. I get bored, frustrated, and lose focus of the process. At this point in my journey, I don’t even know what a worst case scenario looks like, because I don’t have the same impulses as before. How can I make this process as enjoyable as possible?

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33M/277 LBS/ 5FT 9" Weight Loss Journey Attempt (????)

Back story: I was your typical athletic kid in high school I weight about 168 LBS, same height 5 ft 9". And I could literally eat anything. Fast forward to me graduating and starting college. I come from a very low income family, so I had to pay school on my own. I was 18 and I started university, I was dating my High School Sweetheart. At that time I thought life was great and my future would be nothing but brightness, boy was I wrong. Regardless I had to pay for my own college so my schedule was as follows, 9AM-2:00 PM I would be at school and then I would go to work from 3PM till 11:30 PM M-F. Well I would eat around 7:30PM and then I would get home and my mom that I love dearly! Would be waiting with dinner and I didn't have the heart to tell her I had ate. Fast forward two years of this routine. I ended up quitting this job I felt trapped and couldn't go out with friends specially they got busy and I started working 7 days a week. Around this time in the summer I went to help my cousin work and he told me I had put on some LBS, I weight myself I was around 200 LBS. I thought no big deal I will lose the weight, at this point my high school sweetheart had cheated on me and she broke up with me. My best friend robbed our home when no one was home, so I lost a lot in a short period of time. I feel mentally I felt depressed, fast forward a few months my parents get divorced. During this stage in life I was going to school and working I picked up gaming. And honestly it was probably something I regret. I got addicted to playing and just not facing life. When my parents divorced my dad wanted no part of my siblings. At that point I'm 19 about to turn 20 and my siblings 9 and 7. I had to take on so much and just grow up over night. We come from low income so I had to take the burden of getting an apartment, and raising my siblings. Honestly one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I had a lot of anger, and I wasn't the best brother to them. I was still a young person and it was so sudden. I felt I had no one to talk to and just hated my life. I couldn't catch a break I got more into playing games online. Work, Eat with siblings, Play till midnight, sleep and wake up at 7:00 Am to go to work. This was my routine and gaming plus eating was my escape. Many years went on like this again I'm 33 years old now. People struggling just now things will eventually get better and don't ever give up. Back to the weight I hated to see myself in the mirror and was scared of the scale. One day at a grocery store there was a scale and I decided to see what my weight was, scale read 260 LBS. I couldn't believe it reality hit and I had to do something about it. I started p90X and eating at a very unhealthy deficit and just working out to the point i couldn't walk. I went from 260 LBS to 211 LBS in 3 months. As you already now the second i stopped this unsustainable regimen i gained all the weight back. Honestly after that failed I stopped trying and then my company was giving a discount on the insurance if you had a yearly physical. I went it and found out i was diabetic and was at 320 LBS. I was beyond obese, and I started dieting and i would do this for 2 months and then just quit. MY little brother now 20 years old was very into the gym and pushed me to go. I don't know what my weight was but we worked out for a few months and my expectations vs reality would make me stop. I would set a # of lbs i wanted to lose per month, and that's something you can control. I got hurt lifting too heavy and just set back. At my best and lowest weight i was 263 LBS, and doing great before i got hurt and gave up. Again months go by and 2020 new year new me so i start going again being consistent and then covid happens, again lose motivation. 2021 I go to my yearly blood work and i weight 304 LBS, i decide i need to work out again. Start going to the gym again sometime in May and really hit a stride in June. I really felt motivated and then in July i get covid and i'm out for a few weeks. After that i stop going regularly. regardless fast forward to 2022, new year new me. I start my journey and to my surprise i weight 284 LBS, and I start eating clean and things are going well, I get covid again and basically all February and first two weeks of March i stop my Journey, Now this week March 14th i'm back at the gym and i will start to eat more clean. I'm sitting at 277 LBS and my long term goal is to weight 190 LBS or better. If you read all of this thank you, I currently feel i have no one to really talk to. And need the encouragement, I don't want to feel like giving up. Because it's hard to get out that mentality. My siblings are grown now and I missed out on life my 20's i'm ready to be who i know i can be, and have a girlfriend again and start my own family. Career is in great shape, financially im good. It's just I lack good friends and a romantic relationship. I just don't want to date i think im ugly etc. This is my struggles and i share them with the good people of reddit. Wish me luck and i will be back in 1 month to update on this so difficult journey. I might fail but i'll never quit!!

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My weight is stagnant despite being in a calorie deficit and using weights 4 times a week, help?!

Hello,

I’ve been trying to lose weight and get toned properly since the beginning of this year. From Summer 2021 until the end of the year I gained about 28lbs, I had very bad depression (due to factors which are no longer applicable) and suffered with binge eating disorder because of it.

Im 22, 5’3 and about 190lbs. I started seeing a personal trainer twice a week early February, and she was telling me about body recomposition and how it may take some time for me to see the changes, as im building muslce. I usually eat around 1600-1700 calories a day, some days slightly more but I very rarely go over my maintenance (which I believe is just under 2500 calories). I try and go to the gym 4 times a week (including 2 PT sessions). I do weight training and a bit of cardio at the end, alternating between upper and lower body days. Summer is approaching and I feel like I haven’t progressed much. I’ve certainly gotten stronger as I’ve been increasing the weights each week, and my waist measurements have dropped by about an inch, but other than that I feel like I should be losing more weight considering the weight that I am. I’ve pretty much stayed stagnant, I weigh myself every morning. I rarely drink, maybe once a fortnight if that, and I rarely have fast food. I do find if I have a “cheat night” it takes a good 4 days for me to drop the pounds gained from the bloat.

I’m just worried I won’t see any progress, I’m worried I’m doing something wrong as I am eating in a deficit and I’m working really hard at the gym and try and do a lot of walking. The only other factor I can think of is since February I have been off the contraceptive pill, I know it can normally cause some changes in the first few months but I thought weight loss was more common than weight gain. I try and eat as much protein as possible, most days I eat 120g<. I also don’t get a ton of sleep a lot of nights (though I nap during the day) but I don’t see how that can be the sole issue, and once fixed I would see the pounds drop. I try and limit my carbs (as per PT’s advice) to less than 160g a day, most days I eat around the 130g mark or less.

It’s just hard because I feel like I have a lot to lose and I’m just not seeing the pounds drop, I know muscle could be a contributing factor but I read that you can only gain about 1kg of muscle a month. I’ve lost weight before during lockdown, I did cardio workouts from home. It’s gotten to the point where I’m scared to go out and socialise because I bloat very easily (yesterday I had a pizza on a work outing, 950 cals according to website, had 1700 calories yesterday altogether, 8000 steps, woke up today bloated with half an inch gained on my waist.)

Any advice?

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