I'm a 24 year old, 5 foot tall, 132 pound female.
I come from a culture/family that prefers women to be a bit overweight but when I was 14, I was pushing morbid obesity at 200+ pounds. I've struggled with being committed and serious to my weight loss, slowly going from over 200 pounds to 160 in high school from minor changes in my diet, gaining up to 170 and then going down to 134 just by going vegan and a bit of semi-regular exercise when I got serious about losing weight, maintaining around 140 for a few years until quarantine when I ended up quitting veganism and not being able to exercise and a major increase in my depression made me gain up to 170 again.
Over the past year, I've started my weight loss journey again and lost around 40 pounds but recently my mom said I was "getting too skinny". I'm not even close to skinny but I grew up with my mom (and other family members) making comments on the bodies of average women and calling them bones, saying that skinny women have bad posture because their stomach's are concave, saying that men don't like "dry bones".
She said something similar years ago when I was previously losing weight, I only just got under 140 and she started scrutinizing me and saying that I needed to stop, I lost enough weight, she was worried about me. Those constant comments really discouraged me and made me insecure and weirdly guilty, leading me to fall off my weight loss plan because I kept making myself eat something in front of her so she would stop talking about it and that led me into eating the chips and cookies and whatever else I was craving that we had at home.
At 5'0" a healthy weight for me should be somewhere between 97 pounds to 127. I want to go down to somewhere between 98 and 116 pounds as a personal goal because I don't know what I look like slim but I'll probably start maintaining my weight once I feel content with my physical form.
I'm not going to let myself be stopped this time but it's so discouraging to be accused of an eating disorder and starving myself now that I'm back to learning about how much I actually need to eat, recognizing my actual hunger cues, and satisfying my bodily needs while losing weight.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/V9jUHYg
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