TW: abuse
Hi r/loseit! I’ve been lurking on your sub for the past 4 years and am finally ready to publish a progress post of my own.
Back in 2018, I had reached my heaviest weight. I was in an incredibly abusive relationship, completely isolated from my friends and family, and battling severe depression. I turned to food as a comfort and completely lost control of my consumption. When I took my “before” pictures, I calculated that I was consuming about 4000-5000 calories a day. My job has me on my feet and moving around most of the day, but it was not enough to offset the amount of food I was eating everyday. To make matters worse, I was consuming 75% of my calories between 8:00pm-11:30pm. I’d then fall asleep around midnight and wake at 6:00. Not only was I not taking care of my physical health, I also wasn’t taking care of my mental or emotional health. After experiencing a complete breakdown, I decided to take my life back into my hands.
After pretending my scale didn’t exist over the past couple of years, I decided I needed to face my fear and insecurity and see what I really weighed. 195lbs. I had gained 60 pounds in under 2 years. I felt so ashamed of myself. I got on several weight loss subreddits to seek inspiration as I was too embarrassed to consult my doctor after gaining such a significant amount. I discovered the ketogenic diet and felt I would have the most success by cutting out my go-to comfort foods: carbs. I won’t lie, I didn’t stick to it 100% of the time, nor did I set myself up for failure by demanding 100% from myself. I would say I limited my carbs to 20g/day approximately 85% of time. Because of the nature of the keto diet, I found myself feeling not only satiated at the end of the day, but also sick and tired of the limited options after 3 weeks of dieting. Seriously. I could only eat so many pork rinds and steaks before I didn’t even want to look at food anymore. It worked though! I lost 15 pounds in my first two months. I didn’t change anything else. I didn’t exercise, I didn’t count calories, and worst of all (for me), I didn’t address the other problem areas in my life.
As the weight began to come off, I started to get attention from men that I hadn’t gotten in a very long time. Because of this, my partner at the time began to beat me down even more than he already had. I fell into a deeper depression and started to lose sight of my weight loss goals. When he decided to ramp up his cheating, I saw an opportunity to go get help with my mental health. Together with my incredible therapist, I was able to come up with a plan to get out. Once I was able to take back control of my life, I started to put all the pieces together. I began counting calories and macros, I took my dog on longer walks to enjoy the fresh air, I engaged in activities with my friends and family I had lost touch with over the years, and I kept reading all of the wonderful posts in this community that helped keep me inspired.
After losing 30 pounds, I felt disciplined enough to stop the keto diet. I had begun dating and honestly, I didn’t want to have to explain my odd meal choices to any prospective partners (“May I please have two cheeseburgers with no buns and a coffee with heavy cream?” doesn’t exactly set the mood). I now realize I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I was struggling with severe self esteem issues. I was able to lose another 15 pounds by making conscious choices and being mindful about realistic calorie counts. I actually overestimated by about 15-20% when eating meals I couldn’t accurately calculate (i.e. restaurant meals and meals prepared by others) to help me stay on track.
Fast forward to 2022, and I was feeling like a forgotten balloon you find behind the couch a few weeks after the party. I was feeling thin, but incredibly out of shape. I started weight lifting and practicing light yoga and barre to attempt to tone up. My “after” picture was taken 10 weeks into training. I finally feel not only beautiful again, but I feel healthy!!! For years I just wanted to look as beautiful as the women I see online and in person, but through my transformation I learned that feeling healthy felt SO much better than feeling attractive. In fact, feeling healthy has made me more attractive! My complexion has never looked better, I smile constantly (goodbye RBF), and I look good in my skin! Do I think I look perfect? Far from it. But I’m incredibly proud of the progress I’ve made and I hope to inspire anyone who may be feeling like there’s no way out of their rock bottom. If you or anyone you know is struggling, please don’t hesitate to seek help or reach out! I’m happy to respond to any questions you might have. Thank you for letting me share my story, but most of all, thank you for being my source of inspiration for the past several years.
TLDR: Gained a ton of weight. Lost 79 personal pounds and 250 pounds of abusive jerk.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/fa81cs9
No comments:
Post a Comment