I’m sad and tired - how do I get motivated?

A couple of years ago I lost 50 lbs. Was still overweight and could have done another 20. Then bought a new house, longer commute, MIL moved in, COVID, etc and I’ve gained 40 of it back. Add that the last 3 months have been complete disarray due to spouse’s mental illness. I’m getting therapy, and have a doctor appointment next week. I’m really struggling to care at all about working on health and weight loss. I know what to do, I’ve done it before… I just don’t seem to be able to get myself to start anything.

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Obesity & sex drive advice (hetero men)

Hi guys,

I'm 29 and I've been obese all of my life. Always had confidence issues, coming from a toxic home and no male role model.

I've had a single, long-term relationship which started when I had a BMI of 37 , and already back then I felt I was doing just ok in terms of sex "performance".

I've grown to 48 BMI, and I'm now unable to perform, I have destroyed confidence & sex drive .

I'm on a weight loss journey which is going great, but I wanted to check with others: Does the sex drive come back after a big weight loss?

Also, did any of you also have issues at 37 BMI, or do you think it's something else (psychological, hormones)?

It's discouraging to think of all the effort I'll have to make to reach 37 BMI again (and beyond), only to go back to feeling "average" at best (besides the obvious health benefits). Do you think it will further improve going lower than 37?

Thanks

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First Post - Somewhere here recommended Happy Scale and it’s a Game Changer!

Compelled to make my first post because Happy Scale has just been changing my life this year. Early January I started using Reddit for real, for the first time, and quickly found my way to r/loseit - I read all of the intro recommendations, read new posts, searched keywords, and totally armed myself.

I think it was in the same thread, someone recommended to another newbie to use Happy Scale for weight tracking and to also watch the British Show “Secret Eaters” (it’s on YouTube) and boy I devoured it! It was wildly motivating because I didn’t have the same problems as these people! Which my little brain meant that I had all the tools I needed and none of the excuses I tried to hide behind.

So thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! Beautiful human who took the time. I’m 17 lbs down so far this year and weight loss has been easier and more consistent than anything I’ve tried before. I’ve done a number of maintenance breaks, a vacation, special catered parties, and eating at maintenance has been so much easier than before, practically frictionless and totally intuitive. Something has finally clicked and I couldn’t be happier.

Proof provided! https://imgur.com/a/QzJGpa8

TL:DR: one new app gave me a way to look at my weight graph, changed everything.

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Mental health is making this basically impossible

I've been trying to lose weight for a few years now, but have mostly been stuck around 170 lbs. I had a few points where I was REALLY stressed and gained 10 lbs but lost it fairly quickly, and others where I was able to control myself and went down but then gained it right back. In early 2016 I even managed to lose 20 pounds in a fairly short amount of time, but gained it all back around late 2017/early 2018 and I've been stuck there ever since.

For a while part of the problem was that I work out a lot; I'm a mountain/ultra/trail runner in the summer and a skimo racer in the winter so I do a ton of cardio (peaking around 12-15 hours/week, you can see weekly logs in my history) which can sometimes be counterintuitive to weight loss. Keep in mind, I train because I enjoy these sports, not just for weight loss (wanting to improve my performance has been a good part of my motivation to lose weight).

A few months back I did a brief consultation with a nutrionist to develop a diet plan that enabled me to train at a high volume, run a caloric deficit, and recover/not feel like shit all the time. It actually worked great for a few weeks and I was steadily losing weight at about 1 lb/week. But then my mental health took a nose dive again and I just lacked the willpower to control my eating habits. My job and commute have gotten a lot more stressful in the past couple of months and when I get home from work, the only thing I can bring myself to do is eat large amounts of bread, salty snacks, and cheese.

I had a few points during college where I'd gain a lot of weight because I was horribly depressed and just lacked any control over my eating. Furthermore, I also have a history of just mindlessly eating when I'm not even hungry at all as an avoidant behavior.

It's really weird for me because I'm generally extremely disciplined about my training and willingly get up at 5 or 6 AM to run laps up and down a hill for an hour or two, but when it comes to eating, I have absolutely no self control.

I do think I should see a therapist or even a psychiatrist about this, but my insurance currently makes that impossible. Furthermore, I've had some bad experiences with therapists in the past on this issue; a lot refused to recognize that my eating habits were problematic and they just gave me "oh that's fine, you're not even fat!" Like, uhhh, i'm pretty sure that mindlessly stuffing your face with crackers when you're putting off a homework assignment during an all-nighter is NOT something mentally healthy people do.

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Am moving onto maintenance phase--what do I gift myself?

Title kind of explains it, but I recently hit my goal weight after 7 months of CICO! (SW: 173 lbs CW/GW: 135 lbs, 5'8", 25F) This was a huge journey for me, and I rediscovered my sense of discipline and self-love after a reaaaaaally rocky 2021 where I gained 40 lbs in the span of a few months. My boyfriend told me I should treat myself because of how committed I've been, and I agree. However, I have no idea what to give myself! I'm down to spend a couple hundred bucks because of all the money I saved not hitting the drive-through after work, and I'd like to not have the gift be related to weight loss (like a pedometer or a food scale, etc) because I've already got everything I need there. I also totally recognize that this is a silly ask in the grand scheme of things, but I rarely treat myself to anything and just want to cut loose! What do y'all think? What would you treat yourself with if you were me? Thanks in advance!!

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How Do I Love Myself/Not Hate My Body During The Process Of Losing?

So, I’ve been doing really great lately. I hate to compliment myself, as I hope it doesn’t get in the way of my commitment to weight loss. I feel different lately, though. After years of eating disorders and lots of bs, Idk. I just feel very on track. I’m viewing things differently. I don’t see my calories as a restriction much at the moment, but more so a healthy boundary/line to stay in so that I can both be healthy and reach a goal. I’m finding ways to stay in my calorie range that don’t feel like I’m not getting what I want. And I just feel happier, lighter, more regimented. All of this can obviously change. There will be good days and bad days, but I see myself very much as walking in the opposite way of what I was doing before. Knowing that it will take me a long time to reach the place I want to be, but at least choosing to walk that way and stay on that path so that I will inevitably get closer to and reach that goal. Like I literally envision myself in the woods, lost, but deciding to turn away from my previous walking path and go down the one that will get me to where I want to be. Hopefully that makes sense and isn’t too schmaltzy lol. It’s helping me, though.

I have 170lbs to lose. I’ve had a rough few years. Lots of life crap. But now things are more stable and I’m working again and I have a stupid little crush on a colleague. I call him sexy voice because his voice is SO sexy. Fck. It’s the only way we interact lol. I don’t know them at all, but even just the crush makes me feel motivated to reach my goal so that I’d be able to know I wasn’t passed up just because of my weight. We’re remote right now and I pray we don’t have to meet in the office or anything before I lose a lot of weight. It’s really stupid. I’m sure they’re married or something haha, but just in case they weren’t, I want to reach my goal for a million reasons, but being able to be comfortable and confident in front of someone I have a crush on is just one of them.

Im proud of myself but I have so far to go. I will not see any real significance until I lose about 100lbs, I’m wagering. Like, that will be when I am much smaller than I am now, even though I’ll have almost another 100 to lose. That’s so crazy to me. And the excess skin haunts me even now, but I’d rather have that then be like I am now. I’d rather have the option of getting my skin chopped off than being this overweight and unhappy in my current body and clothing. For even a second longer.

Im sure most of you who have lost weight know what it’s like when you first are starting out. You feel like you’re doing so much, and then look in the mirror, or step on the scale, or see a picture of yourself. And then you’re smacked by reality. You’re not there yet. And it’s what makes a lot of us stop right when we’re beginning. It’s what’s made me stop for years, but I feel like I’m going to push through that this time. So, how do I deal with this. With having a mindset that I am going to lose this weight and be fit and happy, while I’m not. And knowing it will be that way for a long, long time. How do you stay motivated through that? Love yourself through that?

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Don’t have much will or discipline to lose the weight out of fear of loose skin/taking too long

I’m 187 cm, and 322lbs. I was around 290 for a while but gained clearly a lot since January after I got kicked out. Weighed myself yesterday and saw I was 146kg or around 322 lbs. i feel like I want to be around 170/180 but I know I’ll probably have lots of loose skin if I do so…

Most of the reason I wanna lose weight is to be more athletic and also very much so for fashion, even now I’ll buy clothes periodically in size L just because I don’t want to have a bunch of XXL clothes. I’ve been seeing lots of weight loss videos and a lot of the 100+lb loss videos , they have lots of loose skin.

Even with girls and stuff, I would imagine being more fit would help my chances with relationships but having that loose. Skin underneath would likely turn off most. Anyway just ranting, i hate the way I look being so large and needing to lose at least 140ish lbs

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