Guy I‘m currently seeing sabotages my weight loss and acts like I have an eating problem.

I‘ve been seeing this guy since February (no contact in April and May due to personal issues on his side). I‘ve stopped smoking in April and started to focus more on my health. Then in May I finally weighed myself (F20, 77kg, 180cm) and I was in shock, because I expected to be 5kg lighter. Started to eat cleaner to lose weight and fix my digestive problems and my relationship with food, because I used to emotionally eat/ binge occasionally. I lost around 10 kg and am plateauing at 66,6 kg for like a month now. I‘m perfectly fine with this weight but I‘d like to become leaner (maybe lose like 5 more kg) before gaining muscle to eventually build a fit physique. Every time I‘m at his place he tries to make me eat large quantities of food and feeds me with cookies and other unhealthy stuff. He even tried to make me take half a banana bread home. I already told him that I‘m losing weight (and also that I‘m currently struggling). He says I‘m too skinny and that I have to gain weight, indicating that I‘m starving myself. I feel like he himself has a preference for curvier women (which I still am btw) and doesn’t want me to reach my goal body because it doesn’t match with his taste. I don’t know how to feel about this situation. Fyi he himself is really fit and works out almost every day (which allows him to eat the way he eats).

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What can I do to get past a weight loss plateau that simply does not want to budge?

So, I've successfully lost the 10-12 kgs (from 86 to 73 kgs) I've been trying to lose since forever. It's been a year, and I've successfully kept it off. I've altered my eating habits significantly, I went to a nutritionist and she gave me many tips on what to cut off and still have protein.

I still want to lose more. I want to get to 65 kgs. I've lost some weight recently, sure, but it has been like a month and I've lost like 1-2 kgs. I walk a lot, like 4 hours a day every day.

This isn't working out however, and I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions. Like maybe over charging my workouts.

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Question about heart rates and fat loss

Hi all, I know I'm posting here a lot today, and I'm sorry for that. But I just have a quick question. I was going to ask r/fitness, but those guys intimidate me. Lol

So, I have been walking daily or near daily for the past month. I try to walk as briskly as is comfortable and sustainable and I have noticed that my times have been dropping off which is cool. I have also noticed that my heart rate has dropped off as well as measured by my watch. When I started I was in the 120's typically. Now I'm averaging around 105 for the walk. Which is also cool, I feel like that definitely shows that I am improving my cardiovascular health!

But...I'm an over thinker. So now I'm worried that I will need to "walk harder" (run?) to keep seeing weight loss benefits. Not that I'm relying on only walking for weight loss, I also do CICO and stay under my calorie goal most days. I know you can't outrun a bad diet. I also know that walking is good for my health regardless of if it is actually helping with weight loss. But I admit I am walking in part to aid with my weight loss. So, if my heart rate keeps going down when I walk, will it still help my weight loss efforts, or do I need to keep upping my game?

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Boyfriend agreed with me that I’m fat…

For background information, my boyfriend(m27)and I (f22) got together about a year ago and we moved in together. Before that, we had been best friends for years. Previously both of us had problems with bulimia, excessively cutting calories and exercising in order to lose too much weight very quickly. At his lowest, he was a healthy weight and felt good about himself, at my lowest I was at underweight and while I was proud of the weight loss, I felt very physically and mentally unhealthy.

When we moved in together, we both gained weight. He gained the 80 pounds he had lost back and idk how much I gained because I’m too scared to weigh myself. Last night we got drunk and started talking. I said that I was really scared to start dieting again. He said that since our lives are now essentially fuzed, he can’t lose weight (and therefore not hate himself (even tho imo the hating himself is it’s own thing all together)) if I’m not dieting too.

Later that night, I was pretty intoxicated (I took an edible and went to a movie with him, he didn’t have anything) and said that I was fat. To my surprise, he agreed with me. He said that he still found me attractive but tbh ik he doesn’t find me as attractive anymore because 1. Ik he doesn’t like fat chicks and I now apparently am one. And 2. He just doesn’t act like he’s attracted to me anymore.

Sorry for the rant, I’ve just never felt so bad about my body before. I just need some support and some clarity tbh.

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How does one lose weight in a complete healthy way and keep it off?

To give background info: I'm a short, pear shaped, low muscle tone woman with two children who is currently still breastfeeding a baby. I want to lose about 12-15lbs. I just can't seem to do it in a healthy, long term way. I don't want to look like Barbie. I want to feel comfortable in my clothes.

From everything I've read and experienced, it seems impossible to do. I almost fell like wanting to lose weight when you aren't very overweight or obese is actually considered wrong and unhealthy in itself? I think it's good if I accept my body and love it as it is, but after having two children and doing extended breastfeeding for both and losing any focus on myself or my looks, I feel frumpy, chubby, unattractive and weak. I really would feel happier with myself if I had more muscle and less fat on my body.

In the past, when my first child turned two, I did slim down with exercise and very strict calorie counting, but it made me focus way too much on calorie counting. I knew it wasn't sustainable. I gained weight again as soon as I stopped counting calories when stressful life events began (a couple years of secondary infertility, then the pandemic, then a high risk pregnancy, now parenting a baby and a preschooler, etc).

And isn't calorie counting just dieting, which is scientifically proven to fail and result in more weight gain in the long term? Something will always come up. And it seems like you can't keep weight off unless it's your whole life's focus to keep it off.

I know this seems defeatist, but these are real w questions and not hypotheticals. I would love to hear from people who have actually made lifestyle changes that are healthy, sustainable, and lasting which result in long term weight loss and keeping it off. What is the secret? Because what I read and hear from a science perspective is pretty uninspiring.

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Tips and Tricks

Hi LoseIt,

Long time lurker. Not sure what I hope to gain from this post, I guess just trying to see if maybe I can see that one line, or those words of wisdom that happen to serve as motivation to stick with this weight loss journey. I'm 32 year old male, 6 ft 3, 430lbs. I have sort of a fall from grace type of story where I used to be a strong and competitive athlete--- excelled at all the sports, hiked all the mountains, did 100 mile bike rides for fun etc. I used to be popular, get attention from women, and just enjoy life. I could go travel without worrying if I'd be kicked off the plane for not fitting in the seats, I could go to amusement parks, I could go out to restaurants without worrying about fitting in the booth or in the chairs, I could go to the zoo and not worry about standing too long, or getting tired. I could go to the movies and fit in the chair... the list goes on. Things started to go wrong when I went to college. I had all you can eat dorm food, and tore my ACL. That put me out of commission for a long time, and I gained a bunch of weight. The freshmen 15 was the Freshmen 50. Physical activity was such a big part of my life, when I suddenly couldn't do it, I legitimately got depressed. I didn't utilize my resources, I didn't understand the importance of mental health or try to get help. I spiraled more, got more depressed, ate more, gained more weight. I Graduated college at 360 lb. I then went on to graduate school where I put on another 60 lb. I've never been more miserable. In constant pain, and losing weight has always felt like such a losing battle. I now have bad ankle pain on an ankle that I had injured multiple times in the past, and I can hardly walk any significant distance. I try to ride the stationary bike, but literally my butt hurts so bad and my genitalia goes numb and it's pretty scary feeling. I know it sounds like I'm full of excuses, but it also feels like that's another trait that has developed with my out of control size and health. I tried many times to do things right, by tracking meals, exercising etc. I just fall off the wagon-- something happens to throw me off and I can't recover. I'll be running late one day and wont have time to pack a meal or make food and I'll grab some fast food or something quick and unhealthy. What's most bizarre is how much I know that I'm killing myself, shortening my life with every bite of bad food, every latte, and it doesn't seem to matter. Why can I not have the will power to do things right? It's like I'm totally powerless in certain situations... Man it' is madness. Anyway not sure what the point of this post is, but if anyone has any tips on how they found the motivation to care about themselves and stick with something, I'd love to hear them.

​

Thanks!

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I went clothes shopping in a store for the first time since pre-COVID this past week...

..I was slapped with the realization I am obese. I was like, "I gained 100lbs, I'm probably a 1x now." WRONG. I left the store in tears because I'm a 2x-3x. Precovid I was a size 8-10.

First post, but I want a supportive community and hopefully, this can be it!

I am at the heaviest I've ever been at 260 (the closest was 220 before giving birth) My fiancee thinks I'm 240, shh. My average weight is about 145, but I had a starvation approach (anorexia nervousa) most of my life and during VID I had a major life change I decided to stop denying my great love for food and cooking. I tried everything I previously denied myself and loved every minute of it.

I know from all areas of my life that I need to take baby steps to make healthy choices in creating a healthier life for myself. When I went shopping, that was the devastation I needed to kick my ass into gear!! No crying, just determination!!!!

So this time I took a different approach to my weight loss. I lacked follow through on commitments because it was "too hard". I started going to the gym again in late August, and I'm super proud of my endurance and consistency as I have never actually sweated before and I leave every day at least damp.. I started going for 30 minutes to an hour 5-6 days a week and have made the jump to 1-2 hours this past week with 45-1 hour cardio. I have a bad traumatic arthritic ankle I've had surgery on it 7 years ago so I've been isolating the muscle groups surrounding it to help support my ankle for the weights so I am able to be more active.

Slow starts I have made in my lifestyle change are incorporating intermittent fasting from ABOUT 7 PM - noon. I say *about* because I might shave off an hour or two in either direction. If I'm so strict I feel like everything is too much and I have given up in the past so I feel the lax approach is better for me now.

I only allow myself my favorite tortillas two meals a week as opposed to the Hispanic daily and only use low-carb bread and incorporate more fiber. I'm TRYING to stick to high fiber high protein foods. The next thing I plan to do is incorporate a sweat stomach wrap for my workouts, not using fats when I cook just veggie broth and water, and only order salads or meat without breading on the rare occasions I do go out.

My mood is the best progress I've seen since late August, my ankle hurts way less and more often, the amount I'm able to do at the gym has drastically increased and my PRIDE of wanting to quit so many times in a workout but just pushing on until my original goal. I surprised myself so many times.

​

I'm getting married in November of next year, and my current goal is 60 lbs by then. Old me thinks it's too low, but this me thinks it is attainable. My father said it's too high and suggested 30 and my future husband thinks 50 is a more attainable goal. I've lost 5 so far.

My perception of food and my body are out of whack as one could gather from my polarity relationships with food.

Advice?

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