I gained 40 pounds in four months. It’s hard to get started again.

I started losing weight Jan 8th, 2018. I was 320 or so, super out of shape, and physically feeling terrible. Erica Garner, the activist, had just died of a heart attack at my age. I decided to do something. Weirdly, despite being as physically unhealthy as I’ve ever been, I was mentally in great shape. I was happy.

Over the course of the next six months, I lost and lost. And then, my partner of five years dumped me and I felt like my life was over. For a few months, I clung on to my weight loss habits, but by September I was in full binge mode. I was miserable, suicidal, and genuinely felt like I had nothing worth living for. My low weight was 220, but I stopped weighing myself and all I could feel was my new clothes starting to get too small.

By January, I think I was over 260. I’ve lost so much progress. I’ve moved back in with my mom, because she’s having health problems and I need to help her. My life still feels barely worth living. How do I do this, sad? It felt straightforward when it was part of a life that was going somewhere, but now I’m going nowhere. I don’t feel like I’ll ever have a career or a partner, it’s hard not to say who cares that I’m fat.

And yeah, I’m in therapy. Lots of therapy. For part of the fall, 10 hours of therapy a week. It’s still hard.

Anyone have any advice? Or maybe just even words of encouragement.

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2TXG94L

NSV/SV... Didn't expect to have lost weight!

So like most here I've intermittently been trying to get healthier and lose the extra weight I've been carrying for years. My biggest issue is binging. I will eat mass amounts in secret from my friends, family and SO. I made a vow in the fall to "change" (really the only person holding me accountable is me, since my peers don't know how much I really binge) and that I would only weigh myself once a month. In the past when I've gotten motivated enough to make real changes, weighing myself daily/a few times a week has led to disordered eating patterns. Which then leads to rapid weight loss and a yo-yo back to being heavier than I was before since its not sustainable.

At the beginning in October I weighed myself for a starting point, cause I really wasn't sure how much I weighed. I was 180, which at that time was the biggest I've ever been. Now, as always I didn't actually make the changes, and just before Christmas weighed myself again. I was 183. I broke down to my SO and admitted everything. How I binge in secret, and all my bad habits that have gotten me here (we live together now, as of the fall so it was getting much harder to hide my eating habits from him, and I was feeling very guilty about it which led to the break down). He has always been very, very supportive and said that its time I make a change for good and that he would also come on the journey with me. He definitely doesn't need to, hes a very fit 6'2 190lb man. But he said he would for me. This time no extreme restricting, no crazy diets or anything like that, just reducing portion sizes and getting my binging under control. We decided to do a 90 day challenge, where we only eat out once a week, limit portion sizes and only drink alcohol on the weekends. Those are really the only "rules". We also get one cheat meal a week which we will do together, not me alone.

We started the challenge on January 7. Since then I haven't had any secret binges, and I have kept it clean and portion sizes way smaller than in the past (NSV for me as I would usually binge at least 2 times a week). I feel hungry all the time, but I am trying to focus on the fact that it is a part of the process, and that my body will adjust. I haven't weighed myself because I am trying to focus this time on feeling stronger, and basing change off the way my clothes are fitting. I went to the doctor yesterday to refill my birth control prescription, and they said they needed to update my weight and blood pressure. I obliged as I had no option, although I didn't want to get on that scale. It was in kg's, so I had no idea what it meant in lbs. After sitting in the private room for a few minutes I did the conversion. I was 172.3!!! Now I doubt this all came off since January 7, as I was trying to eat healthier starting new years day, but didn't make a resolution. But either way it is nice to finally see some progress after ~5 years of being unhappy, and I am feeling great and motivated to continue on the road to a healthier, happier me!

This sub gives me so much motivation, hearing all your stories and progress makes me want to stick with it this time. Hopefully we can all get there together!

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2Ry8S3G

How quick does my food intake, or lack thereof, show up on the scale?

Hey, so I am in an office filled with a bunch of people doing a competitive weight loss contest, where they have to pay money every week if they gain an ounce so they are very focussed on the minutia of eating and exercise. I'm not in it, but in general I am making changes to diet and exercising more. Mainly, I'm cutting waaaaaaay back on alcohol, red meat, eating out, processed food, and generally keep the calories down. I weigh every morning at the same time out of habit and there is generally about a 3-5 lb fluctuation in my weight from day to day. As I am going from having a beer (or more, who am I kiddin) every day after work to only drinking one day a week, I am wondering when I can expect to see the result of a particularly good or bad patch. If I pound IPAs and eat nachos on Sunday, will that show up on Monday, Tues, Wed? If I eat nothing each day but a banana, an avocado, and a salad, and a slice of turkey for a three day weekend while also exercising, when should I see the results of that? It would help a lot to be able to track the cause and effect of my actions. Anyone with info on bodily processing and how the machine works, I would appreciate your input.

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2DhpVy5

[SV] 5’6” 26F. SW 248, CW 239. I made it down into the next group of 10s!

It isn’t much, but I’m incredibly proud of myself. I’ve lived most of my adult life accepting the fact I’m overweight. Even in high school I was at my lowest at only 180. Living with major back and heel pain because of my weight, this year I finally got sick of it. Since January 1, I’ve been going to the gym 3 times per week, meal prepping every Sunday, calorie counting with MyFitnessPal, and trying to fit in at least 1 hike per weekend if possible. I refused to make weight loss a New Years resolution, because those are only meant to be broken. I simply decided it was finally time to change my situation. I’ve had a hell of a week, struggling every night to eat the dinner we have made instead of going out to get pizza (I’m a sucker for Mod). However, every night I strengthen my resolve that this time I’m going to do it. I got on the scale this morning, 2 weeks and 1 day after weighing myself for the first time, and saw I was under 240, a feat I haven’t been able to accomplish in almost 6 years. I’m so proud of all the work I’ve been doing, and even though some days it’s almost unbearable I just keep my head down and try my hardest to focus on what’s important: enjoying my life, feeling comfortable in my skin, and living as pain free as possible. Thank you to this group for the continuing motivation!

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2TYm6U6

SV/NSV: Officially 60lbs down, and my cheeks are parallel lines now.

60lbs down. It's been a hell of a nonlinear ride over the span of 2 years, gain and loss, and I plateaued at like 230-240 for a year due to depression, but I never gave up on the prospect of weight loss and here I am back at it. Now I'm 215 (scale read 214.8 this morning, i round up, but holy crap..). The paper towel analogy is very accurate, I notice my weight loss a hell of a lot more now, especially as I near the 200 mark.

My cheeks, for example, are parallel lines! Which is absolutely crazy to me, I have no idea what my face looks like under all my fat because I've been fat most my life... but i'm starting to see it, finally. The thing I began to notice in the mirror is that they don't puff out anymore... they're almost straight lines! I still have a bit of neck fat, and well, fat everything else, but the fact I can actually SEE parts of my jaw, and see my cheeks laying FLAT... holy crap. I'm so excited to see what my face actually looks like, beneath all this, it's almost like a sultry strip tease and I'm impatient to see the final bare result.

My weightloss method has been approximate cico -- aka i've been making a note of how many calories are in food and just trying to eat a sane amount for my height. I tried to do the exact counting thing but that just demoralized me and made me neurotic. Learning portion control and keeping educated about caloric density of what i'm eating seems to work for me.

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Just starting out, feeling very discouraged

Hey all,

I had lost something like 70 pounds a few years ago (went from my high of 260 to low of 190), but after moving and getting a new job, I ended up putting it all back on. Today, I'm at around 265.

My wife and I recently moved to Europe, so we have started a new life as expats. This is obviously exciting, and one of the ancillary benefits is that without my usual amenities (food delivery like Postmates), I've been eating much healthier since we got here. I've been doing OMAD (one meal a day) during weekdays, as I recall from my last weight loss journey that intermittent fasting is great for getting in shape. Today I just tried a 10 minute at-home exercise routine using the 8fit app - and boy do I feel terrible. Even doing something as simple as 20 seconds of squats 3 times had me sucking air. I'm so absurdly out of shape that I'm feeling like this is insurmountable. I'm really upset that I let it get this bad, as I recall from last time that inertia was my key to success. Right now it's just so tough to get started that I'm feeling quite discouraged.

I am really hoping that I get some good progress soon.

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2ASlGHx

Just got called to my boss because of weight loss

Guys I'm so disturbed I need to make a post. Today, without prior warning, I got an Email invitation to speak to my departments top level boss. She actually had me called to talk to me about my weight. She said there had been lots of comments from different people, I'm looking unhealthy and I've been rapidly losing weight. She's been worried about me and wanted to know if I'm OK. Also told me sternly that I shouldn't lose weight too fast. Apart from the fact that I have the nicest boss... I'm so disturbed. I don't know my current weight, but the last time I weighed myself was three weeks ago, I had lost maybe 2 lbs in six weeks, and was still firmly overweight by BMI (71kg at 5,5")I've only been in the department for half a year, so they've only seen me losing 30-40 lbs at most.

I've been eating pretty much the same thing for breakfast and lunch for... Two years? My dinner varies a lot, so I eat between 1000-1800 cals daily. TDEE was 1700ish last time I checked. I've been exercising often in the last weeks, cardio only once a week, the other days it's resistance and weights.

I have to agree with my boss on one thing though, my face has been looking shitty recently. On many days I feel I'm looking sickly and grey, and shitloads of vitamin c and exfoliating serums don't change a thing. A few months ago I was still getting compliments from strangers on my glowing skin. I feel better than ever though... My energy is amazing, going to the gym almost every day after work and 2 kids has not been an issue even once, and yesterday I jumped up and down at a punk concert for 2 hours (should I log that as HIIT? ;))

So yeah, I'm confused and insecure. Loseit, am I secretly starving myself and not noticing it? I do have a history of obsessive and overly restrictive dieting, and even though that's decades behind me, I don't trust myself fully.

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