I started losing weight Jan 8th, 2018. I was 320 or so, super out of shape, and physically feeling terrible. Erica Garner, the activist, had just died of a heart attack at my age. I decided to do something. Weirdly, despite being as physically unhealthy as I’ve ever been, I was mentally in great shape. I was happy.
Over the course of the next six months, I lost and lost. And then, my partner of five years dumped me and I felt like my life was over. For a few months, I clung on to my weight loss habits, but by September I was in full binge mode. I was miserable, suicidal, and genuinely felt like I had nothing worth living for. My low weight was 220, but I stopped weighing myself and all I could feel was my new clothes starting to get too small.
By January, I think I was over 260. I’ve lost so much progress. I’ve moved back in with my mom, because she’s having health problems and I need to help her. My life still feels barely worth living. How do I do this, sad? It felt straightforward when it was part of a life that was going somewhere, but now I’m going nowhere. I don’t feel like I’ll ever have a career or a partner, it’s hard not to say who cares that I’m fat.
And yeah, I’m in therapy. Lots of therapy. For part of the fall, 10 hours of therapy a week. It’s still hard.
Anyone have any advice? Or maybe just even words of encouragement.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2TXG94L
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