My parents were obsessed with my weight when I was a kid. They monitored all of my eating, they would tell my friends and their parents what they were allowed to feed me, and they would punish me whenever I didn't lose weight. Because of this, I ended up rebelling once I turned 18 by getting fatter. Not totally obese, but definitely fatter. I was so afraid that candy and junkfood wouldn't be available to me whenever I wanted that I would hide it by my bed and binge eat until I got sick and then starve myself for two days to make up for it.
This unhealthy lifestyle contributed to major health complications, and I ended up having severe hormonal issues and seizures. Because of this, my anxiety got worse and I just kept bingeing.
At my worst, I was 5'1 and 165lbs. When I felt my fat folds rub on each other while walking, I knew I needed to do something. But I still can't calorie count. When I do, I feel restricted and like I don't have control, and I will binge.
So, instead, I started just looking at what the calories were in a suggested serving of food. After doing that, I would choose to not eat that food or choose to only eat the exact serving. I still didn't track how much I ate, but really focused on portion control and not eating until I was full. By doing this, I lost 20lbs.
I've been hovering at 142lbs-145lbs, but I'm still not ready to track my food. I know that is my ultimate binge trigger, and someday I intend to beat it, but for now I am taking steps in seeing my health as my form of control. So, this lead me to start taking yoga classes.
I went on Tuesday and felt amazing. Then, yesterday, I was in full body pain. I still ended up walking 6 miles, but by the time I went to bed it was excruciating! Still, I knew I promised myself I'd go to yoga today, and I did.
It was exhausting! My whole body hurt, and I was dripping sweat, but it felt SO GOOD to take control of my health and do something good for me that was also challenging!
I'm super sore and I know tomorrow's yoga is going to suck, but I'm taking the weekend off from any yoga so the least I can do for myself is commit to taking this class. I'm going to continue going 3x a week until it becomes a habit, and then I'll increase to 5x a week. And I'm excited! I haven't been able to feel positive about weight loss and health before in my life, it was always a punishment. But I'm getting older, and I need to care about this stuff. I'm just so glad I've been able to make this much progress and I can't wait to lose another 20lbs!
TLDR: Lazy chubby girl is being less lazy and is sharing this on here to make sure she doesn't give up on herself and bail on her yoga class tomorrow!
EDIT: I am so sorry I miswrote NSV! I even was saying to myself "Non Scale Victory" as I typed it so don't ask me why I couldn't figure out words!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2Bg7jNx
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