feeling like if you're not losing weight and not counting calories you're not welcome

so many people on here seem to think that counting calories is sooo easy. I replied to a post where someone asked what I was finding so hard about the weight loss and I said counting calories and measuring food and I got -3 points. I've posted a handful of times in the past 2.5 weeks because I am struggling to start losing weight again after gaining almost all the weight I lost back last time. It's like I'm expected to have no problem counting calories and if I can't do that I might as well not even be here. This is what I've been getting from a lot of the comments here. But I've only been posting here for a couple weeks. I'm still working on figuring this all out and trying to gain knowledge and support. I feel like if you're not counting calories and losing weight you're a failure here. But I know I'm not the only one in this situation. There are probably a lot of people in my situation who have trouble counting calories. I feel like it's a base line to post here. If you aren't counting calories you dont belong here. I'm just trying to find help where I can get it.

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Very hungry days

I moved to an European country to study (from tropical country) and now that it's getting colder I sometimes find my body extremely weak and shaking at the end of a long school day and ravenously hungry. I've lost some weight since I started about 130 days ago (still technically in the overweight bracket) and it's kind of made me lose a bunch of insulation too so I can't stand temperatures that used to be no problem. Do I just eat a little bit above my goal until I adjust? At maintenance (even when I reach maintenance I may still be starving)? I value my schoolwork more than my weight loss, but it's still a thing I care about and it would be a shame to lose this progress.

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Mid-weight loss journey, getting married in a month. How do I stay sane?

32 F, 5'5, SW: 195, CW: 157, GW: 145

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I've been on a long, slow weight loss journey for the past 2.5 years.
In August 2017, I weighed 195. I started by doing diet bets, trying out intuitive eating, and working out more regularly.
I quickly went down to 175, where I stayed for about a year. Ready to start again, I began using MyFitnessPal and CICO (I have since switched to LoseIt), and in about 3 months I have gotten down to 155. After a lot of travel for work and my bachelorette party last weekend, I'm sitting at about 157 today.
My partner and I have had a quick engagement: he proposed in August and we are getting married in mid-December. I'm so happy. I feel pretty confident in how I look, and he and I are supporting each other as we excitedly prepare to look and feel our best on the big day.
But I'm really struggling to not go into turbo-weight loss mode for the next month to try to look AS GOOD (THIN) AS POSSIBLE ON MY WEDDING DAY.
I feel as though this is the culmination of two decades of cycling through weight loss attempts, always with some event at the end of the rainbow, hoping to finally be THIN ENOUGH. I've been doing this since I was in middle school. Each summer, I swore it was the summer I was going to lose the weight, come back to school and shock everyone because I looked so healthy and good. Sometimes I would do it, sometimes I wouldn't. I just looked through a bunch of photos from high school- my weight cycled drastically throughout those four years.
How do I resist the urge to return to that mindset over the next month, as I prepare for my wedding? How do I balance the genuine desire to look and feel good on my wedding day with the crazy-making, goal-setting tendency I have to try to go overboard?
I have 12 lbs to lose before my goal weight. I'm not going to weigh 145 (my goal weight) on my wedding day. And I want to be okay with that! Can I reasonably set a goal of 150? If so, how can I approach that goal without letting it bother me if I don't meet it in time for my wedding?
How do I continue to use CICO, to work out normally, and to hopefully continue to lose weight normally and healthily over the next month, when I have a dress fitting, photos to worry about, a loving mother who tends to says the wrong thing and sends me articles on how to tone up my arms... not to mention wanting to simply spend time and enjoy this lovely period of our lives with my partner.
I'm finally feeling good with how I'm approaching weight loss. I listen to Half Size Me, I believe (after over a decade of fighting it) that CICO is going to be a necessary part of my life, and I'm okay with how slowly I've been losing weight. I want to start a family soon, and I'm thinking a lot about building healthy habits as a family. As I enter this next phase of my life, I feel centered and good about the healthy decisions my partner and I are making. I wish I could show the younger me that it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing, and that you can lose weight while enjoying pizza and ice cream in moderation. That you can exercise to enjoy it and feel strong, and that you don't have to run day after day if you don't want to.

But this wedding is getting in my head. I would really appreciate some perspective and guidance on keeping it real over the next month.
After the wedding, we're going to Paris for four days... and you can bet your sweet ass I'll be eating every croissant and drinking every glass of wine on my honeymoon and not tracking a damn thing. I genuinely believe it's all about balance!
TLDR; I am 12 lbs from ultimate goal. How can I set a reasonable goal for my wedding in a month, and not go crazy trying to lose all the weight as fast as possible?

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I'm ready to restart

Good morning Lose-it people,

My name is Jay, and i am writing this, not to receive any form of sympathy or honestly even a reply really. I just want to put all this out there to prove to myself that i am not afraid of facing the facts; that i lost the weight and gained it all back and am starting all over.

In 2014 i weighed 300lbs and decided i didn't want to be that guy anymore. I was dodging invites because i didn't feel like leaving my bed. I ate like a garbage disposal, and drank soda like it was water. So i started walking, then jogging, then eventually running. I counted my calories, I drank water all day every day. I listened to self help podcast, and found this subreddit. 40lbs down and people started to notice. It felt amazing getting told i looked good. By the beginning of 2015 i was at 205 lbs, almost in Onderland. But then, i started dating. I would eat out all the time, i started drinking just to stay social. I would skip the gym because someone would want to go Disneyland instead. Of course i don't blame any of these people, no one twisted my arm. I just wanted people to like me.

It was gradual at first, 1 pound here and there. 210lbs "I'll shave off those 10 pounds easy" 240lbs "No big deal, I'll go extra hard at the gym next week" But the gym never came...

2019 and i am back at 300lbs. My eating habit is back to garbage. I'm drinking soda and eating junk food on the regular. Walking is now hard for me to do and i get tired and winded so quickly. Shirts i labeled my "too big - will donate" has become my go-to shirts. The self loathing has also returned.

But i'm ready to restart my journey, or maybe this is a new journey. I am in a loving relationship with someone who supports my weight loss dreams. I want to be around for our future adventures. I don't want something like, my legs hurting to be a deciding factor for fun activities. Also i just miss, being proud of myself. I want to be happy to be me. And thank you r/Loseit you helped me the first time with motivation and kind words.

Sorry this was a long read, but if you took the time to read it. Thank you.

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Need New Running Shoes? Here’s how you can tell…

Do you know how many miles your current running shoes have on them? Today I’m sharing 3 tips to decide if it’s time for new running shoes! Running shoes can be considered the most important piece of running gear. You want to make sure you’re wearing the right type for YOU. And once you’re running […]

The post Need New Running Shoes? Here’s how you can tell… appeared first on Run Eat Repeat.

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Do we have a 'comfortable weight' to which we get back to eventually?

I've recently been struggling not to overeat after upping the amount of sport I do each day (which means I can't stick to my 1200 calories any more but have to up it a bit - I just don't know to what number yet). To solve the issue I read Binge over Brain by Kathryn Hansen. This was useful in some ways but unhelpful in others.

Kathryn makes the simple argument that everyone has control over what they eat at all times. They don't have to be lead by the lizard brain that literally always wants to eat. That's fine. However Kathryn also states in the book that all weight loss/purging after a binge is useless as the body will 'recover' in its own way and return to a comfortable base weight no matter how much you struggle.

This has me a bit discouraged. I find it difficult to motivate myself to keep losing weight and I've gained a few kgs since my last weight loss spurt as well. I am wondering if you guys have some experience or opinions on this. Please discuss!

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Every day I read another self-loathing post authored by someone who has regained weight and hates themselves for it. It SUCKS and many of us have been there. Can we make a "silver-lining" thread where we talk about the things that are easier/better because this isn't our first time?

I've been full of self loathing for letting myself gain back so much weight. I see similar sentiments posted here every day. I've lost about half of it again. (204>134>204>171) and only in the past few weeks have I been able to see past my resentment enough to see that I did and do have some advantages this time around.

I thought maybe if I had stumbled upon a thread like this when I was "starting again" I may have been able to stay more positive. Also, others may have noticed silver linings I haven't, so I'd love to hear if anyone has noticed any.

1. Knowing more or less how many calories are in your favorite foods, because you've already looked it all up before. Even if you're very vague in your estimation range because you're not THAT good, you can still get a good idea of what options are more or less healthy.

2. Knowing more or less how big a portion size is supposed to be. If you've ever tried to lose weight before you know that a "bowl" of cereal is SIGNIFICANTLY larger than "a single serving" of cereal. However, a meal size of chicken may not be that much larger than a "single serving" of chicken. Not QUITE the same as point 1 but kind of.

3. Knowing how you react to hunger. Some people get cranky. Some people get tired. Some people get thirsty. Some people (me) get anxious that they might get hungry later so they preemptively eat food they didn't even really want. Knowing these things about yourself gives you a chance to make a strategy to manage the hardest moments. For me, this means throwing a snack in my purse "in case of emergency" so I'm not eating to avoid something that may never happen.

4. Knowing how weight loss ACTUALLY works. Taking away the veil of secrecy. If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight. If you don't manage your hunger, you're probably gonna regret it. (Yeah, you can technically lose weight eating 1200 calories of french fries and macaroni and cheese a day, but that food won't make you feel satiated and you'll make yourself miserable trying to stick to that diet and will probably end up bingeing.)

5. Having practiced self control. This didn't come over night for me. But this is the thing that got me thinking about this whole thing the past couple of weeks. In my fridge, right now, I have chocolate truffles from Costco. I don't even remember when I bought them -- probably 6 or 8 weeks ago. I've grazed on one or two of them when I have a chocolate craving, but now that I understand how satiation actually feels and I don't enjoy feeling uncomfortably full -- hell, the fact that I can even /identify/ uncomfortably full -- I don't behave the same way. Now just one or two feel SO RICH that I honestly don't want more. I honestly feel like "that was really good but god is it so heavy. I /could/ eat another one I guess but honestly I will enjoy that same chocolate so much more tomorrow when I haven't just had it." It used to be that by buying a box of costco truffles, it meant that I'd basically be eating handfuls of chocolate truffles any time I felt /not full/ and I would have eaten the whole box in 3-4 days. (Remember, I'm talking costco truffles. Any old supermarket box would have just been "dinner".)

I would be really curious to see what other people could add.

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