Good morning Lose-it people,
My name is Jay, and i am writing this, not to receive any form of sympathy or honestly even a reply really. I just want to put all this out there to prove to myself that i am not afraid of facing the facts; that i lost the weight and gained it all back and am starting all over.
In 2014 i weighed 300lbs and decided i didn't want to be that guy anymore. I was dodging invites because i didn't feel like leaving my bed. I ate like a garbage disposal, and drank soda like it was water. So i started walking, then jogging, then eventually running. I counted my calories, I drank water all day every day. I listened to self help podcast, and found this subreddit. 40lbs down and people started to notice. It felt amazing getting told i looked good. By the beginning of 2015 i was at 205 lbs, almost in Onderland. But then, i started dating. I would eat out all the time, i started drinking just to stay social. I would skip the gym because someone would want to go Disneyland instead. Of course i don't blame any of these people, no one twisted my arm. I just wanted people to like me.
It was gradual at first, 1 pound here and there. 210lbs "I'll shave off those 10 pounds easy" 240lbs "No big deal, I'll go extra hard at the gym next week" But the gym never came...
2019 and i am back at 300lbs. My eating habit is back to garbage. I'm drinking soda and eating junk food on the regular. Walking is now hard for me to do and i get tired and winded so quickly. Shirts i labeled my "too big - will donate" has become my go-to shirts. The self loathing has also returned.
But i'm ready to restart my journey, or maybe this is a new journey. I am in a loving relationship with someone who supports my weight loss dreams. I want to be around for our future adventures. I don't want something like, my legs hurting to be a deciding factor for fun activities. Also i just miss, being proud of myself. I want to be happy to be me. And thank you r/Loseit you helped me the first time with motivation and kind words.
Sorry this was a long read, but if you took the time to read it. Thank you.
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