Hey all.
A little backstory on me - I was a dancer when I was a teenager, it was basically my life. Because I was so active with dancing, swimming, and running, I was in pretty great shape. I'm just under 5'10 and have been since I was 14, and when I was at the peak of my physical fitness at around 17 I weighed ~135 lbs. Shortly after graduating high school, I dropped dance and moved for college, and similarly to a lot of people that was when I started packing on pounds. It wasn't a freshman 40 it was more like a freshman 40. I became depressed because I was always a shy kid and moving to a new state where I knew no one made me completely withdraw into my shell. I turned to food for comfort and with no scheduled exercise anymore I became a couch potato. I ended up dropping out of college and have worked retail for the past few years, my depression and anxiety exacerbated by an abusive relationship I was stuck in for nearly 5 years.
Fast forward to now, I have recently turned 25, back in college getting my accounting degree, and am the fattest I have ever been at 260 pounds. Nearly twice the weight that I was when I was 17. I am sick of it, I'm sick of looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself, I'm sick of still feeling like that active fit girl I was on the inside but not having my outside match, I'm sick of struggling to do things I used to do with such ease, simple things like walking up stairs or getting off the couch. It's not a massive struggle, but I used to just be so damn bouncy and full of energy. I'm sick of not being able to wear what I would want to wear if I were thinner, and just being stuck wearing dark basics because I don't want to draw attention to my body. I'm sick of looking ten years older than I am when I am supposed to be in the prime of my life. I'm sick of feeling self conscious about how much space I take up. I AM SICK OF BEING FAT. I don't know how to describe how I feel about being fat other than it's not me, I'm not supposed to be a fat girl, I don't feel like a fat girl on the inside.
I just want to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about what I see.
So I'm starting my weight loss journey today. I've tried so many times this year to figure out something I can stick to and being as lazy as I am (and someone who HATES cooking) I've decided to just stick to CICO at ~1200 with mainly high protein vegetarian convenient foods like Soylent, Sweet Earth burritos, and ezekiel bread w/various things like peanut butter or avocado and egg. In the past I've tried meal prepping, cooking every day, cooking every other day etc. but I've never been able to do those things consistently so for the first time I feel like I can actually do this. There are no more excuses to be had, I literally will always have a (mostly) healthy meal ready to go in the fridge. I'm ready to fucking do this and to start feeling better about myself!
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2qOdCWq
No comments:
Post a Comment