32 F, 5'5, SW: 195, CW: 157, GW: 145
I've been on a long, slow weight loss journey for the past 2.5 years.
In August 2017, I weighed 195. I started by doing diet bets, trying out intuitive eating, and working out more regularly.
I quickly went down to 175, where I stayed for about a year. Ready to start again, I began using MyFitnessPal and CICO (I have since switched to LoseIt), and in about 3 months I have gotten down to 155. After a lot of travel for work and my bachelorette party last weekend, I'm sitting at about 157 today.
My partner and I have had a quick engagement: he proposed in August and we are getting married in mid-December. I'm so happy. I feel pretty confident in how I look, and he and I are supporting each other as we excitedly prepare to look and feel our best on the big day.
But I'm really struggling to not go into turbo-weight loss mode for the next month to try to look AS GOOD (THIN) AS POSSIBLE ON MY WEDDING DAY.
I feel as though this is the culmination of two decades of cycling through weight loss attempts, always with some event at the end of the rainbow, hoping to finally be THIN ENOUGH. I've been doing this since I was in middle school. Each summer, I swore it was the summer I was going to lose the weight, come back to school and shock everyone because I looked so healthy and good. Sometimes I would do it, sometimes I wouldn't. I just looked through a bunch of photos from high school- my weight cycled drastically throughout those four years.
How do I resist the urge to return to that mindset over the next month, as I prepare for my wedding? How do I balance the genuine desire to look and feel good on my wedding day with the crazy-making, goal-setting tendency I have to try to go overboard?
I have 12 lbs to lose before my goal weight. I'm not going to weigh 145 (my goal weight) on my wedding day. And I want to be okay with that! Can I reasonably set a goal of 150? If so, how can I approach that goal without letting it bother me if I don't meet it in time for my wedding?
How do I continue to use CICO, to work out normally, and to hopefully continue to lose weight normally and healthily over the next month, when I have a dress fitting, photos to worry about, a loving mother who tends to says the wrong thing and sends me articles on how to tone up my arms... not to mention wanting to simply spend time and enjoy this lovely period of our lives with my partner.
I'm finally feeling good with how I'm approaching weight loss. I listen to Half Size Me, I believe (after over a decade of fighting it) that CICO is going to be a necessary part of my life, and I'm okay with how slowly I've been losing weight. I want to start a family soon, and I'm thinking a lot about building healthy habits as a family. As I enter this next phase of my life, I feel centered and good about the healthy decisions my partner and I are making. I wish I could show the younger me that it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing, and that you can lose weight while enjoying pizza and ice cream in moderation. That you can exercise to enjoy it and feel strong, and that you don't have to run day after day if you don't want to.
But this wedding is getting in my head. I would really appreciate some perspective and guidance on keeping it real over the next month.
After the wedding, we're going to Paris for four days... and you can bet your sweet ass I'll be eating every croissant and drinking every glass of wine on my honeymoon and not tracking a damn thing. I genuinely believe it's all about balance!
TLDR; I am 12 lbs from ultimate goal. How can I set a reasonable goal for my wedding in a month, and not go crazy trying to lose all the weight as fast as possible?
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