Journey to Love Myself

I’m 17F, 5’5, small framed and 185lb. 185lb... a number that I’ve told no one, until now.

All my life I’ve always been slightly chubby but as a kid I never really cared since it wasn’t anything CRAZY and plus... I was a kid.

Although coming from an Asian background where looks are about 90% important, I’ve always been told that I’m fat/ugly by people in my own family, and that if I just lost SOME weight I’d look so much better.

So growing up into my teens my self-esteem has always been rock bottom and I’ve always thought that once I become skinny life would become ‘perfect’. I’ve tried nearly every fad diet that you can think of from eggs to weetabix to water fasting. If it promised quick results... I’ve tried it. Even though I knew how damaging and unsustainable those diets were I just didn’t CARE. I was so SICK of living in my own body. I was so sick of feeling like the ‘ugly’ one amongst friends, feeling as though everyone was looking at me and how fat I am... I was willing to do whatever it took, no matter how unhealthy, to try and achieve this ‘dream’ body.

Of course, they didn’t work. It just became an endless cycle of fad dieting, being miserable, thinking fuck this, binging, feeling shitty about my body and the vicious cycle continued. I came to a point where I thought, ‘You know what? Fuck this. I don’t care.’ and I genuinely stopped caring about my appearance, to the extent I’d even refuse to buy myself nice clothes because ‘I’d look ugly in that anyway...’

Deep down, really, I was just masking the pain I was really in and the hatred that I had for my body, that I still have even to this day.

Laying in bed here at 12am, I feel TIRED. I feel TIRED of hating myself, of limiting myself to just my appearance and limiting myself from enjoying my life. So tonight, I’ve decided, I want to take my life back and it starts from NOW. Not next week, not tomorrow but from NOW. I want to finally help myself be in a place where not only am I healthier on a physical level but also mentally.

All these years, I’ve been trying to lose weight in order to try and please/impress others and that’s where I’ve been going wrong.

Weight loss isn’t a race but rather a marathon. It isn’t for anyone else but ME. I want to finally let myself be happy. No more fad diets, no more listening to others.

It’s time I gave myself a real chance and hopefully by posting on here (to whoever may be reading), it can give me the motivation to keep going and maybe even motivate someone else.

I know it won’t be easy, but I’m done hating myself. From today, I’m on a journey to LOVE MYSELF.

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challenging myself to a week with no baked goods

i've been weaning myself off of processed foods and doing pretty well so far. the thing is that, to compensate, i've been baking so many desserts. i try to make things that include fruit, like apple crisp, banana bread or date squares but i'm not kidding myself into thinking that makes them good for me. even if it keeps me from eating a tub of ice cream or some other horrible alternative i would have eaten in the past, i don't think eating a bunch of homemade cookies in a day is exactly conducive for weight loss. also i'm just spending way too much time baking. i don't often do 'challenges' but i think they can be useful if they're both challenging and realistic. i think it would be both those things for me to go a week without any baked goods. so, from this monday to next monday, fruit, nuts, cheese and other snacks are to replace baked goods.

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Family weight loss challenge

Hello!

My uncle started this challenge with some of my niece and nephews and cousins. He is overweight and so are all of us. We are pretty vocal about wanting to lose weight. He started this challenge that we should try to lose 20 pounds by New Years. OR whoever wins the most pounds gets a prize. It’s a cool challenge. And it’s even more exciting cause we all get to do it as a family.

But I want to win. I currently weight 214 pounds. I am 5’9. I am 21 years old. I have a lot of free time so exercising won’t be hard. But the thing that is difficult is the food part. How much am I suppose to it? Is there a certain food that makes you full the longest? What makes people gain weight? Any other advice would be great. I am the oldest in the challenge other than my uncle. And I want to win. Cause it’ll be embarrassing if I lose to a 15 ur old loool. Any tricks or hacks you guys have from your own weight loss journey will help! Thank you.

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Lost 60lbs for international travel but then...

Hey everybody. For our 1 year anniversary, my husband and I planned a trip to Europe. I didn't want to be the stereotypical typical obese 'Merican so I kicked ass and lost 60lbs in 8 months going from a size 26 to 14. I felt AMAZING. Sure, I was still fat and technically obese but I felt way better about it.

I allowed myself to go on vacation mode during our trip and enjoyed all the food. Then we came back and I CANNOT resume my weight loss.

In fact, I've since gained 7lbs. In one month! You'd think just being healthy would be a great motivator but alas, for me it isn't. It's ridiculous and I cannot seem to snap out of it.

I've talked to my husband and we were planning another trip until I decided to go back to school and as soon as he mentioned money will be tight with paying for that, I again lost any spark.

Can y'all just tell me to stop being stupid, that CICO is doable, that I CAN wake up an extra hour before bed to work out, that I can juggle classes and exercise (and life), and most importantly, that I should be losing weight for more than just looking good in my Facebook pictures. Lol

Thank you for reading my silly post. Appreciate y'all.

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Last year I posted that I had gained a bit of weight back and was working on it. I didn't succeed then but I did now. Grief does stuff to you. Progress pics included.

Last year (previous post here) shared that I had gained a bit of weight back and that I was getting back on the wagon. I didn't. I ended up at 166 (22lb heavier). I decided a few months ago that I was actually going to take care of it and I did.

I'm mostly posting this to remind everyone that weight loss isn't linear and that you're going to go through shit in your life. How you respond to your shit is up to you.

Progress pics here. Left is before, middle is what I got to after gaining 22lb, right is yesterday and back at my goal weight). progress

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How to start afresh and reset when all I’ve done is start and restart and restart

I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was 14 and I’ve always hated my body. I go through cycles of weight loss and gain (currently 140lbs at 5ft 2). I don’t look fat and people always tell me this but I hate how I look. I wear a size 10 UK size. I have been around 123lbs before but I seem to be stuck in a terrible cycle of always wanting to lose weight and trying to be healthy but I don’t know how to eat normally or how to stop counting calories (even though that doesn’t seem to work for me as I’m not my ideal weight). I feel very lost and don’t know where to go. Help and words of wisdom would be appreciate because I’m at the end of my tether and I don’t know where to go from here.

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Life is already different, thank you weight loss

So I’ve lost about 70lbs since February so almost a year and this weekend I went back home from college and I’ve saw a lot of people I haven’t hung out with in about a year or two. Let me tell y’all, people have went out of their way to be extra nice to me now, actually shut up when I start talking, respect my opinions more, DO THINGS FOR ME.. it’s so funny because I’ve always known that being the fat guy wasn’t helping me or anyone, being bigger means people WILL look and TREAT you differently, they always have and always will that’s just life. But it’s really funny to be on the other side... I was hanging out with two people who used to be WAY smaller than me and now they’re both bigger gained a lot more weight than me so I’m officially “the good looking small guy” and that has NEVER happened to me before EVER. I also noticed they were doing things I used to do, like pulling my shirt all the time so it doesn’t outline my figure, or trying to put a pillow or blanket over my stomach, just self-conscious things like that.

They also kept talking about weight stuff and how they lost weight then gained and lost again and gained and kept talking to me about their problems and WHY they were bigger.

It’s just so weird because I remember how it was before and it legit sucks.. I know this sounds like I’m cocky but I personally like it oops? Nobody cared about me or wanted to treat me this way when I was fat as hell and now they know what it feels like to be isolated.. it boosts my ego and I feel more confident so idc but it’s also pretty sad thinking about what I was missing from my middle/high school days.

Anyways point of the story is that I’ve finally felt what people were talking about when they lost weight and it feels absolutely amazing. I can’t wait til I get down to my actual goal weight and things start changing again. I hope this gives someone a bit of motivation because you CAN and WILL beat the weight!

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