I feel like I can't move on with my life until I lose weight. Does anyone else feel this way?

F / 36 / 5'5 / CW: 152 / GW: 128

I feel like weight loss has been hanging over my head my whole life. My weight has been up and down many times. I've ranged anywhere from 139 - 178 lbs as an adult (when not pregnant).

Even when I'm gaining weight or plateauing, I'm in weight-loss mode. You know, worrying about it, attempting to fix it, always thinking about it. I've never been at a point where I'm intentionally trying to maintain my weight.

I feel a bit lost lately. For example, I used to be very driven at work. I still work hard and have a good job, but I no longer have the desire to climb the ladder, or possibly even work at all. I feel like I don't have a purpose. I don't know what my goals are, with the exception of one thing: reaching 128 lbs.

I want to know what life is like without that constant routine in my head. What is my real purpose in life? I feel like weight loss is blocking my view of it. Maybe climbing the ladder IS for me. Maybe it's not. Maybe I need to volunteer part-time. Maybe I should go into politics. Maybe I should start a YouTube channel. Maybe I should buy a farm. I feel like I can't know until I get this monkey off my back.

Or you know what? Maybe weight loss ISN'T stopping me from finding my purpose. But I won't know that either until I'm finally done with this!

In the past, my motivation for losing weight has been my appearance or health reasons. Now, my main motivation is wanting to move past this HUGE obstacle. I'm doing it for my mental health. I'm doing it so that I might figure out who I am when so much of my brainspace isn't dedicated to it.

It's said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I've been doing the same thing over and over (staying in perpetual weight-loss mode) and expecting different results (figuring out my purpose). Well, I'm ready to stop the insanity, wrap this up, and try something new. I am excited to find out what life is like on the other side.

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I'm having a hard time accepting my new skinny self and I get anxious about seeing the scale drop any further although I haven't reached my goal weight yet.

Hi, hopefully someone won't feel bothered by my post but I don't know where else to post it, please do not down vote it, I do not want to brag or make those of you who are struggling with weight loss feel bad, it's not my intention at all. I have lost more than 120 lbs in over 3 years, I'm currently around 130 and I want to get to 123, I'm a 5'5 girl if that helps.

I don't even know how to put it but I'll try my best. I have reached a point where I eat very little like 3 poor meals a day and I can see my body getting skinnier day by day. I'm also convinced that the reason I'm skinny is because I undereat not because I'm on a healthy diet (that's true actually). If I were to eat normal I wouldn't be as skinny and I'd easily start gaining again. I couldn't wait to reach this point when I started my weight loss journey but now that I am skinny I feel weird. I am a very active person and I keep losing weight no matter what, every time I see myself in a mirror I am shocked that I look the way I do, I'm like "who is that person?!" and although I should be happy..somehow I am not. I want to get to 123 so I can jump straight into my maintenance calories which should be around 1600 so hopefully my weight will stabilize itself around 127 and I'll be maintaining that for the rest of my life.

A while ago I did something that kinda shocked me and I sort of feared my own self: I was at my parents' and I wanted to stuff myself as much as I could for some reason so I could see the scale go up and stop feeling vulnerable and bad for being skinny now. I don't know If I wanted to see proof that I can easily gain the weight back. I truly do not understand this behavior. My counselor says I want to punish myself for some reason and I do not know why. Everybody complimented my super flat stomach or skinny legs but all I could think in my head was that I undereat that's why I have the tiniest stomach and waist and I can touch my bones and that my body got used to tiny amounts of food. My legs are super skinny just because I walk like a machine because I love walking and it keeps my anxiety at bay. If I were to sit on the couch for a month my legs wouldn't look this skinny anymore. (I hope you get what I mean)

I truly do not know why every lb I lose makes me feel bad at this point. Even when I eat at my current maintenance I keep losing weight and it's also hard to determine what my daily intake should be in order to maintain the same weight forever because there's periods where I log 10 -15k steps per day and some where I move less so I wouldn't know how to balance everything.

As an anxious person, I always need to have answers to everything.. Why do I feel so vulnerable as the scale drops? I currently look like a walking skeleton, I'm able to see my ribs and it feel weird and I authomatically think I have an issue or that I look ill. Sometimes I tell myself I'm skinny because I barely eat but If I started to eat at maintenance I will gain some of the weight back and lose my current physique. My body keeps changing and as I get skinnier it's even more noticeable, it feels like I'm even different than what I looked like last week. I'm not even sure what the point of this post is to be honest with you, maybe I just wanted to get this anxiety off my chest or see If someone has been through a similar thing and can explain what this is all about.

Again, don't be offended by it, I know this sub is to celebrate weight loss achievements rather than complain because I'm scared of getting too skinny. Some of you might actually tell me to stop losing weight If I'm happy the way I look but I wanna get to 123/125 so once I'll start eating like a normal human being and naturally gain some pounds my weight will stabilize at the number I want. I'm currently 130 and whenever I eat at maintenance my weight goes back to 143 and that number just triggers me because it's close to 154 in my head and it's easy to bounce back around 150 and I do not like the way my body looks at 150 nor do I wanna see that number again on the scale. As soon as the number exceeds 138 I freak out.

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I’m terrified of getting back in the gym

I was overweight all my life. When I was 19 I finally had enough and I lost 130lbs over 1.5 years and maintained that until I was 23. I had mental health problems during that time but when I was 23 they got worse, I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder, and I gained 140lbs back.

Back in July 2020 I started losing weight again and at my lowest I lost 90lbs. Due to binge eating I’m currently sitting down only 57lbs. At least as of an hour ago, maybe a little more since there’s water weight from last night, water I drank, and I was clothed.

This whole time I’ve done it in a calorie deficit only with no exercise. I know this hasn’t been any help for my weight loss or mental health. But I’m absolutely terrified of getting back in a gym. Honestly all I want to do is swim. I love swimming. But I remember how differently you’re treated skinny vs. fat, and the thought of walking up to a gym desk to sign up, or walking into a new gym locker room, or taking my shirt off to swim right now makes me want to throw up.

I want to go tonight SO BAD but I binge ate last night and I’m so bloated. I feel/look more disgusting than normal. I know it’s the first step to stop hating myself but I can’t bring myself to do it.

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Overpronation with exercise because of obesity?

Hi everyone. Background, I’m 5’8”, 295lbs, 26 years old and wanting to lose around 145-150. I started gaining excessive weight when I was 15 because of a medicine I was put on and the cycle never stopped. My lowest since then was 200lbs at 19-20 years old. Before Covid I was 230 and could walk comfortably despite being obese, would go miles a day no problem, but once the pandemic started I stopped walking and ate a lot so I gained 60+ lbs pretty fast…

Now that I want to drop it I’m starting to walk again. Part of the problem is, my right ankle started rolling inward and overstretching the bottom right part of my right leg after like 0.2 miles. Now I have extra wide shoes and can go like ~0.5 miles without it hurting at all but by a mile I’m done it hurts so bad. Looked it up and it’s called overpronation, basically like flat feet even though I have a good natural arch (hence why I was able to walk normally until now).

Does anyone have any advice for exercise while getting this problem? I have the wide shoes that I like. And Like I said my preferred method is walking, especially for how big I am and I can get my heartrate to a fat burning level but I just can’t maintain the ability to walk. Pretty frustrating. I am changing my diet so idk if the natural weight loss from that will help but I want to be able to go at least a mile without limping…

Thanks in advance

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I had a moment of disbelief at how much I've lost

I weighed myself after Thanksgiving, and somehow miraculously didn't gain. I swear I ate an entire half of a pumpkin pie by myself, how is that even possible 😂? I was expecting a gain of like, +2 lbs. So I do a double and triple take at the scale and I read "175.0" over and over. And then, it like really hit me that I'm 175 lbs. I'm only technically 15 lbs overweight, which feels fucking bananas to type out. I have days when I love my body, which has never happened (and to be fair, that hasn't solely been because of the weight loss). I video chatted with my parents the other day and thought I looked nice in the webcam. I'm just kind of in shock honestly. I haven't weighed this little since high school, like 10y ago.

It's just crazy. Where am I, who am I, and how did I get here?! Hahahaha.

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Successfully losing 10lb per month for the last 4 months

Just thought it would be good to keep a record here. I've lost 40lbs now over 4 months.

I do an hour of cardio 6 days per week with a rest day on Friday.

I also do 15-20 mins weight training every other day.

My calorie intake is around 1000-1200 per day, consisting of as much fruit as I want throughout the day, a couple of espresso shots in the morning, a main meal around 3pm high in protein, and then something light with fibre and vitamins/minerals in the evening.

My body fat percentage has dropped by around 3% per month, and my lean body mass is increasing around 2-3% per month.

On my Friday rest day I have whatever I like to eat within reason, often graze on around 500 calories of chocolate throughout the day as a reward to keep me sane and keep my metabolism used to higher calorie intake during the process.

I've noticed that when I weigh myself and do a body comp the day after my rest day I have still lost weight in comparison to my measurements on the morning of the rest day itself, so it looks like my metabolism has increased (possibly due the increase of muscle mass) so that the rest day treats aren't effecting the weight loss.

I'm about half way to my goal weight now.

Good luck to everyone else. Keep motivated and reap the rewards of your hard work.

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Working out and dieting on makes me feel miserable. Help & tips?

I've been fat pretty much my whole life so in a way its normal for me. But i want to lose weight for multiple reasons. Army will be a lot easier, (Army training is required in Finland) i will look better, feel better, maybe get a girl friend and i can have the self confidence to buy new clothes.

I have tried everything but nothing seems to work. I have eaten far less than i need to, fasted and so on. I have been going to the gym 3-4 times a week for the past month. But everytime i eat less, exercise or deny snacks from myself i feel miserable and like im wasting my time. Currently im about 110kg and while I've been going to the gym I've actually gained like 6kg of weight. My diet isn't that different from before i went to the gym so that also made me feel unmotivated. And almost always food, candy and so on are the things i most look forward in a day so that doesn't help either.

So any tips on how i could lose weight when everything related to weight loss makes me feel miserable? Like sometimes i even think that i might be happier just remaining fat...

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