i'm so happy about my recent weight loss and want to continue(mainly about eating habits, 18M)

hi there! fair warning: sorry for using a lot of words, but i feel like explaining my backstory in depth can help you guys give me the best advice because putting it all into one post would help more as opposed to asking for quick pieces of advice without giving much context. i'll put my goals and advice i want from you guys in the last paragraph, so here goes!

backstory: i've been overweight for most of my life that I can remember, but around 1.5 years ago, when depression and the rest of my poor mental health took ahold of me, I crossed into the threshold of obesity because I had no regard for my exercise and was eating whatever looked good. when I decided to do something about it(around 4 months ago), I was 5'7 and 220-230 lbs. my main inspiration was fashion and tired of having a huge butt that restricted me from looking good in even casual clothes. so I started doing the keto diet. not too strict, just making sure I was eating less than 20g of carbs a day and eating healthier fats.

this realization came around the end of senior year at high school, around mid-june of this year. after the school year ended, i continued this diet and i signed up for personal training sessions at my local gym, which i went to 2-3 times a week. that was the only exercise i did during that time, and i was doing all this until august 20th-ish. i got down to 195 lbs by then, which was very encouraging for me to keep moving forward.

around the end of august, i started college(go terps btw). you might think that i was tempted by all the dining hall options, but thankfully it was the opposite. the first 2-3 weeks or so, i ate things that didn't seem like they were packed with carbs. after this, i decided to the following meal plan:

1. breakfast: scrambled eggs(around 2 eggs worth). the 3 variants the dining hall cycles through are cheesy, pepper onion mushroom, and tomato cheddar jack.
2. lunch(and dinner if i'm feeling it) chicken breast + caesar salad

around mid-September, i realized I could do some light workouts in my dorm room, so that's what I did. i did push-ups(which i stopped because i realized I was doing them completely wrong), squats, step-ups on my chair(which isn't very high). i did only 1 set of each, which was about 5 minutes a day. it worked pretty well, and when I weighed myself 1 month after I started college, I got down to 185 lbs. this could also be because i walk at least 2 miles a day to get to classes. again very encouraging, so i want to do more. i bought 2x15 lb dumbbells to make my room workouts more difficult.

this brings me to today. i haven't had as much opportunity to do my room workouts this past week because my roommate is in here more often. i'm not sure of my exact weight right now, but if i had to estimate it would probably be around 175-180 lbs.

WHAT I WANT FROM YOU GUYS: my goal weight is somewhere around 150-160 lbs. assuming the worst case, which is me not being able to do my room workouts all the time, how can i get down to this weight? and how can I specifically reduce my butt size? if you read all the way, thanks for your time!

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How do you do it the “right” way and make sure this time is the last time?

This is my first post here, but I’ve been following for probably 2 years. Over the last two years, I’ve lost the same 20 pounds over and over again. I’m really trying to do some introspection to understand why I haven’t been successful. I know that I’m capable of losing weight, but my relationship with food and my body is holding me back and I don’t want to keep falling back into the same habits to end up back here again.

I’m 5’4” and right now I am 184lbs. My highest weight was 198. My lowest was 130, before I went to college but I haven’t gotten under 170 since I started gaining. My body image has been terrible. I know intellectually that, though I’m overweight, I’m a very normal and average looking person but when I’m trying to get dressed to go somewhere I feel so uncomfortable with my body that it’s seriously difficult for me to leave the house. It’s been so much stress on me and I’m desperate to feel better in my clothes and in my body. I want this struggle to stop taking up so much of my emotional energy. I want to make peace with myself.

In an attempt to try and reframe my struggle with weight loss, I’ve decided to try and eat at maintenance for at least two weeks to see how much a person my size really should be eating every day. I’m eating 1,950 cal, (though I went about 300 cal over this weekend), and I’ve been keeping track of my weight and calorie intake in a spreadsheet to try and figure out an accurate TDEE. I’m about a week in and it’s hard not to jump on my urge to drastically cut my calories immediately because it feels like a waste of time to not start right away.

I just know that I need to approach it differently this time. It’s hard to do the unfamiliar and I don’t know where to go from here. I feel like “diet culture” is everywhere, even on this sub, and it hasn’t been good for me in the past. Does anyone have resources or advice for slow, truly sustainable weight loss? Or just words of encouragement? The physical side of losing weight is simple, but I don’t think I can be successful unless I’m coming from a healthy emotional place, too. How did you all finally break free from the cycle?

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Sometimes you can’t do a strict diet for a long time and that is OK, you just gotta be smart about it

I started losing weight about two months ago, I was 185 pounds and I lost ~10 pounds. My BMI went from obese to overweight (granted it is 29.9 but still, I’ll take my wins wherever I can) and I am ecstatic about it! I feel so much better and look so much better! There is still about 30 pounds to go but all my previous attempts were short termed so I decided to recognize the signs where it went wrong previously and be smart about it.

I see the progress, but because there is so much weight to lose, I get sick of doing the really hard diet/exercise long term. I don’t really lose the motivation but I lose the grit. This time I know my patterns and I am being smart about it. Since this is a lifestyle now, and I know there will be times I will eat more than I should because nobody is perfect, I’m cutting myself some slack.

So I divided my weight into chunks, I will lose it 10 pounds at a time and have breaks in between. Not the ‘eat all that you can’ breaks. I lost the first 10 by doing 1200 cal per day, plus exercise. Now I have taken a two week break (I am not exercising due to circumstances on this break but will in the following breaks). I have increased my caloric intake, and I allow myself to eat the stuff that are not so healthy. I am still below my TDEE which is 2000, but I am eating around 1600-1800 instead of 1200. This won’t really result in a weight loss in these two weeks but it also won’t result in weight gain. What it will do is, it will satisfy my craving for more food because whenever I feel like I can’t have something I just want it more, sometimes just to see that I can have it.

My two weeks end this Thursday, I will weigh myself in the morning and continue on until I lose the second 10 pounds. This will hopefully be done around Christmas and I can have my two week break and eat 1600-1800 cal/day during the sweet holiday time where amazing food is literally everywhere.

Not everyone can do their diet to the t all the time, it’s important to recognize what you need mentally as well as physically and not force it to the point where it will make you unhappy or say ‘fuck it’ and binge for weeks or completely stop. I think timed and well-managed ‘breaks’ from diets are very important for people like me, sprinters. That’s how I think of it, since this is a long term thing I think of it as a marathon, and some people can go a steady pace but some need to sprint a bit and walk a bit, like me.

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My Uphill Battle With Weight Loss

Hey all, I finally decided to start using reddit more and feel like it's time to come clean about my weight and own up to it.

TLDR; Never was this big, finally started to take action. Started the year at 223, now i'm barely at 200. Trying to get to 190 before December and 180 before the New Year.

My weight loss progress has a bit of happiness, but underlying is a lot of sadness and struggles. I'm 23 years old and I never was big in my teen years. Most I weighed was 170, but that was with muscle definition and being very fit. College is where everything changed and I gained so much weight. I weighed the most last year at 228. I barely took action as I felt I never had the time to fully commit to it and I just kept giving excuses despite promising those that I love that I would do it. After many promises and no action, I lost their trust and lost them.

For the past 3 years, I've been struggling with self confidence, low self esteem, and I was heading towards depression. A lot of my confidence issues have hurt relationships with friends and those that wanted to be friends. I took a lot of things for granted, such as their patience and forgiveness, but enough was enough for them and all I was to them was just "all talk and no action".

I started this year at 223. I started getting a decent start when I lost 5 lbs in August. I finally figured out how to count calories and nutrients correctly and to have an effective meal plan for myself. The ball really started to roll when I lost 8 lbs in September. As of this post, I'm barely about to be under 200. This is the most proud I've been of myself in a very long time and the progress is very rewarding. As happy as I am with this progress, I started way too late for them, and i'd be lying if i said I was fully doing this for me. Truth is, there's a part of me where i'm doing it for others to hopefully gain their trust back, either partially or fully.

I don't plan on stopping. I want to become the best version of myself both mentally and physically. I'm tired of the judgment, i'm tired of myself giving excuses as to why I can't do something, i'm tired of losing those I love, i'm tired of feeling like i'm not worth it, and i'm just tired of being, well, tired.

​

My ultimate goal is to lose 10 lbs both in November and December and get to a goal weight of 180 lbs before the end of the year. I know I can do it, I will do it, and nothing can stop me.

I apologize if this post was more sad if anything and that it was a slight rant. I've just been losing so much in my life, and i'm tired of it. I want to make progress and I need to make progress to better myself physically and to fully develop myself mentally again. I don't want to be on a path of depression and I want to climb out of it.

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I'm Going to Scream

Finally into the 170's and every lbs I lose is getting more noticeable. I'm just went down a pants size so when my family went winter clothes shopping this season I needed a bit of everything. The first trip to the changing room was not successful because my mother had pulled sizes that were 1-2 sizes too large.

Coming out of the dressing room I told her that I had lost a bit of weight and that I would need smaller sizes. The look on her face the second time I came out of the changing room was a nasty type of jealousy I'd never seen from her. She said that I had thinned up a bit and we went back out to continue shopping. Cut to her making tons of comments regarding my weight loss while simultaneously saying things wouldn't work on me because "we're too large." She's at least 70 lbs heavier than me. My mom has never really commented on my body before or given opinions on my choice in clothing so it all felt very reactionary.

At lunch, I got 2 tacos from Chipotle (less than the serving size and one of the lightest things on the menu) and she kept commenting about "how I better not gain it all back." I'm not the sort to take these kinds of comments but it was either stay quiet or yell at my mom in Old Navy and I'm trying to get less reactionary. If she ever gets nasty about it again I'm definitely going to confront her, but should I just accept the smaller comments? Is this a normal thing for parents to say to their kids? I definitely can't deal with her telling me how to maintain my weight though. It makes me irrationally angry, especially since she's the parent that allowed me to get huge in the first place.

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Law School ruined all my progress. Now I have to do it a second time and it's so much harder.

When I was 19, I was at my heaviest at 273 lbs. I spent 6 months working really hard with diet and exercise and got down to 180. I looked skinny but with the excess skin flab. I worked out and put on some muscle and went up to about 190. Then I went and spent a summer as a fat camp counselor when I was 21 and got down to 173. For some reason, the way my body works, this was actually the first time I was a healthy BMI. Like it was a 24.1, which is barely considered normal. But I looked great and had 10% body fat. Sadly, I went to law school after this and went all the way up to 235 lbs by the end of my third year. I worked out a lot during my time at law school so some of it was muscle, but I was so devastated I got back to that point. The stress was just too much and led to a lot of drinking and binge eating. Additionally, all of the law school social events were an excuse to overeat. I'm currently 5 months out of law school and have managed to get down to 214 this morning. I still drink a lot and have been eating out due to finally having money and being stressed with my new job, so it has made this new weight loss effort take so much longer than the first time. I've spent the last month fluctuating around 215-220. In the last two weeks alone though, I've gone from 220 to 214 and I don't plan on stopping. My sister is vegan and has convinced me to try a lot of fake vegan meats, which fortunately have tasted pretty good and have been low in calories. The variety has peaked my interest enough to stop me from eating out so much. It's just such a soul crushing experience knowing I'm going through this again. Luckily, I have more muscle this go around and don't have to lose as much. At a minimum I'd like to get down to 190. Ideally, I'd like to get down to 180 just to show myself I can do it again. I just feel like in the last couple weeks, all of my frustration has been channeled into motivation and determination. I want to be an example and prove to people that you can lose weight and keep it off. Wish me luck.

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Am I being overly sensitive?

Am I being overly sensitive?

Yesterday was a friend from college's engagement party. Was great to see my closest friends of 10+ years. Now that we're all in our 30s and have jobs, kids, etc I'll often go 6-12 months without seeing them.

We all sat down for lunch and one friend who I've had probably gone the longest without seeing was being so kind and raving about my weight loss. He asked "how in the hell did you lose so much weight? It's amazing!" (I spent most of college 360-380lbs, hitting 415lbs the year after graduation. I'm at 245lbs now.)

I'm finally have real results and it's because me finally addressing my mental and emotional well being rather than ignoring it. So I shared that. It's not easy for me to be vulnerable but I think being open and honest is helpful. Mentioning how changing jobs, coming to terms with my anxiety and working through it, calorie counting, measuring literally everything to re-train my mind on portion sizes, intermittent fasting, etc.

Then my SO says, kind of looking over to my friend's wife who just had a baby and is carrying some extra weight "yeah but it's also easier because he's a man"

I know she didn't mean anything malicious by it. Like sure, yeah I can eat more calories because my TDEE is higher as male but man I felt so fucking bummed out. Like it just discounted all my work because I'm male. It's been anything but easy.

I was 200+lbs by age 10. I was 300+lbs by high school. I was bullied. I had very little self-esteem growing up. After college I felt so isolated. I spent most of my 20s living alone in a studio apartment. I spent many nights binge eating and drinking until I was sick just hating myself. I'm finally the healthiest I've ever been but it's literally been 15-20 years in the making with dozens of failure along the way.

On the other hand I'm aware how much of a trigger my weight is and I know I can make a mountain out of a mole hill on the topic. So I don't know.

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