How do you do it the “right” way and make sure this time is the last time?

This is my first post here, but I’ve been following for probably 2 years. Over the last two years, I’ve lost the same 20 pounds over and over again. I’m really trying to do some introspection to understand why I haven’t been successful. I know that I’m capable of losing weight, but my relationship with food and my body is holding me back and I don’t want to keep falling back into the same habits to end up back here again.

I’m 5’4” and right now I am 184lbs. My highest weight was 198. My lowest was 130, before I went to college but I haven’t gotten under 170 since I started gaining. My body image has been terrible. I know intellectually that, though I’m overweight, I’m a very normal and average looking person but when I’m trying to get dressed to go somewhere I feel so uncomfortable with my body that it’s seriously difficult for me to leave the house. It’s been so much stress on me and I’m desperate to feel better in my clothes and in my body. I want this struggle to stop taking up so much of my emotional energy. I want to make peace with myself.

In an attempt to try and reframe my struggle with weight loss, I’ve decided to try and eat at maintenance for at least two weeks to see how much a person my size really should be eating every day. I’m eating 1,950 cal, (though I went about 300 cal over this weekend), and I’ve been keeping track of my weight and calorie intake in a spreadsheet to try and figure out an accurate TDEE. I’m about a week in and it’s hard not to jump on my urge to drastically cut my calories immediately because it feels like a waste of time to not start right away.

I just know that I need to approach it differently this time. It’s hard to do the unfamiliar and I don’t know where to go from here. I feel like “diet culture” is everywhere, even on this sub, and it hasn’t been good for me in the past. Does anyone have resources or advice for slow, truly sustainable weight loss? Or just words of encouragement? The physical side of losing weight is simple, but I don’t think I can be successful unless I’m coming from a healthy emotional place, too. How did you all finally break free from the cycle?

submitted by /u/madzeline
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