Hello r/loseit, I'm using a throwaway account because the post contains sensitive info. I am 23M, 183cm (6ft) and in mid July I weighed 88kg (194lbs). My weight oscillated around 65-70kg (143-154lbs) last year at this time and it had been like that for around 4 years.
Around summer of 2018 I had very severe mental health issues, and ended up being commited to a psych ward against my will. In the end after many failed drug trials I was put on the only drug that would work for me, and I swiftly recovered after that, although I have to be taking it indefinitely to prevent another breakdown. I was recovering mentally by early April, but in 3 months I put 23kg (51lbs) despite not eating any more than normal, as my appetite was curved a bit by the meds. The drug that I'm taking (one of the tricyclic antidepressants) is associated with weight gain but not to this magnitude.
Around mid July I had a wake up call when my dad, who has always been overweight, told me that his type 2 diabetes had got so bad that he needed to receive weekly injections. Since then, due to this and a stomach ulcer, he's gone from 120kg (265lbs) to 85kg (187lbs) in a few months, doing no exercise, just by portion control and is no longer even considered overwight for the first time since I've been alive. This motivated me to start a diet myself back then to avoid ending up like that.
I set a goal of 1700kcal daily by late July and have been counting calories every day since then. I have been pretty strict with calories, some days not making it to even 1200kcal, and some days above 1700kcal but very rarely if ever, above 2000kcal. In fact, every day since then I have been skipping breakfast and eating for lunch the same 400kcal salad that they sell at the shop near my workplace, and a 100kcal pot of watermelon if I was still feeling hungry. I drink plenty of fluids every day, no caloric sodas, juices or hot drinks whatsoever. No sweets, snacks or any of that, don't even buy them. I go for a 1-2hr walk every day but apart from that I'm physically inactive. On the weekends if there was a social event that involved eating out I would skip the caloric restriction for that day, but apart from that the regime has been iron tight. On the first 2/3 weeks I lost 4kg (9lbs) but the problem is that despite sticking to the same diet my weight has been 83-84 kg (182-185 lbs) since then, no gains but no losses either. The thing is, I am constantly hungry. And I don't mean hungry like "oh I could go for a sandwich", but intense physical pain after a few hours, even resulting in esophageal spasms at the very worst (one of the worst pains in my life). I'm not hungry at all from 7am to 5pm because it's when my ADHD medication is active so if I eat anything it's just the salad that I mentioned earlier. I have been fighting the hunger and it's not too bad now, but the concern is that I'm putting myself through a lot of self imposed suffering and feeling a bit miserable, and I have also been feeling really weak physically, constantly light headed, feverish and dizzy until I eat, it's got to the point where I have passed out on public transport because of lack of nutrients or whatever. I had a blood test done last week, I'm waiting for results, but I don't know how to proceed at this point, and any advice whatsoever is appreciated. Thank you for your patience reading this!
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