Like title says. I've started and erased this post like a dozen times today, but here goes nothing. Apologies in advance if its long, I tend to ramble.
I'm a big mess. First off, I'm almost 3 years thyroid cancer free. Thyroid was completely removed in a couple surgeries, which means I'm on a pretty high dose of thyroid meds for the first 5 years as a precaution. In the last three years, I've developed pretty crazy anxiety and depression. I've talked to my endocrinologist about it, who has lowered my dose a little, but we can't go too much lower because medically I'm perfect for treatment. My primary doctor seems to think I have my anxiety under control, as I am aware when it gets bad and I can try quiet it ("Try" is the big keyword). I saw a therapist briefly, but between $70-$100 per session with insurance, I just couldn't afford it.
Job. Im a mom (boys, 10 and 3), and a wife. I have a job that allows me to be pretty flexible and it pays decently, but damn, sometimes I work 3-4 days a week, other times I have to work 16 days in a row (true story. I literally worked everyday from 10/9-10/25). Needless to say I'm beyond burnt out. My husband and I have been fighting like crazy, and its because I'm not home at night. He is the breadwinner and works days, so I go in at night. My kids ask for me at night, it breaks my heart, but we need the money. I've pretty much been crying every night since Saturday after my husband and I had a long discussion about everything from our finances to our relationship.
Now, onto the bigger picture. I've been morbidly obese pretty much since my first pregnancy. I started this year out at 278, and I'm currently sitting around 256, which is the lowest I've been in over 10 years. But I cannot get my shit together. I just have no desire to do anything. I try to stick to IF + Mediterranean diet, but now I just don't care. I just don't have the energy to put into anything. Depression sucks. I've been binge eating and eating junk, and I've never done that before. Do you all have any advice on what to do to get back on track? TIA.
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