Hi All! F25 / 5'3 / SW: 240 / CW:179 / GW: 125
https://imgur.com/gallery/P53BNLn
warning, this is going to be a long read.
I have officially lost 60 pounds and i cannot be anymore happy. 7 months ago, I was severely depressed and also had a very low self esteem. For years I had hated the way I had looked and always told my cousin that I was going to lose weight but only to eat good for one day and then go back to my same eating habits. How I started losing weight was sort of an accident. I had started a new logistics job that required of lot walking and lifting packages. One day in March 2019, I weighed myself to see if i had gained weight and to my surprise, I had lost 12 pounds in 3 months. I just continued on until i weighed myself again a month later and realized i had lost another 10 pounds. Thinking something was wrong, I had went to my doctor to have my thyroid checked. Turns out, the reason for my weight loss wasn't due to my thyroid but it was because I had started cooking more at home and not buying a whole lot of fast food. I was still buying sodas and hot Cheetos but i was no longer eating out 5 days a week. My doctor was proud of me but wanted me to lose more weight as I was still classified as obese in class 2. My whole childhood and teenage life I was always skinny. It wasn't until after high school that once I had a job, I would go out and buy fast food everyday despite me living at home with a full fridge of food. My mom used to nag me from buying too much fast food, that I used to hide fast food in my backpack. I never realized how fat I had gotten until I weighed myself years later and saw that I was 166. That was the first time when I knew I needed to lose weight. However, it took years to do something about it.
Back in day, I used to go to the gas station every day and buy Large sodas and small bags of chips. I used to binge eat until I had gotten heartburn's. I got them so bad that I would throw up at work until it was just acid that i was throwing up. I even used to go to my local coffee shop 4 days a week and would buy medium drinks mixed in with red bull. One thing that I was really ashamed of, was when i was flying out to Texas and the seat belt was so tight it was uncomfortable. I was too embarrassed to ask the flight attendant for an extender. So I just dealt with it. When holidays came, I hated taking pictures. I was so ashamed of how far I let my body go.
After losing 20 pounds, I decided i didn't want to gain those pounds back. I wanted to be more confident and be healthy. I was tired of feeling the way i felt about my body. I had two goals in mind. 1. to be 125 pounds and 2. to love myself more. So this is what worked for me. Once i lost those 20 pounds, I decided that I wasn't going to workout yet. In the past, I would restrict myself and workout. It never lasted a day. I didn't want that to happen again, so instead I just continued my routine and started CICO. I started just doing 1200 calories a day and just logged whatever I ate. Even chips and soda. Months later I started to minimize soda to once a week as well as mini chips. Whenever I had the urge to eat out, I just grab Panera Bread and buy a salad. Months later, that's when i started to workout. I did zumba, running, and even cardio at home. It was 3 days a week and a 30 min exercise. I also started to check my weight once a week and to drink zero sugar drinks and teas at Starbucks. Currently I'm doing weightlifting and cardio 3-4 times a week. I also took the leap to take a hip hop class once a week.
Things that I learned while being on my weight loss journey.
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High waisted leggings are your best friends. I love them so much because they hide all my fat and the leggings don't fall down when you run.
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I learned that when eating on a diet, you don't have to be as strict. just count your calories and have it in portions.
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This is not a race. I Learned that I need to eat healthier in the long run and not just for losing weight. Its a lifestyle change
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I learned more about the nutrition label and learned when I gained weight, its not fat and just water weight. It happens because i either consumed to much sodium or carbs.
I still struggle time to time. I struggle when it comes to portions. I still binge even if its healthy. Heck I even binge when i go to my family's when they are having a party. I'm glad that one day won't hurt my progress however my goal is still to to lower my portions. I also struggle with exercise. I hate it but i still try to get at leas 3 to 4 workouts a week. Drinking water is also the hardest for me. I try to drink at least 30 oz a day but there are days where i only have 16 oz. my goal is to drink 60 oz of water a day. Finally, my self esteem is still a struggle. Even though i'm more confident, i still have those thoughts in my head that I am fat and ugly. When i was bigger, i always told myself i would date once i lost the weight. now my mindset has changed. I don't date because i want to focus on myself first. I don't think i can handle dating right now. When I was on tinder, i was afraid to meet my dates because they only saw my face and not my body. i was afraid i would be a liar in their eyes. Now i know that its just my mindset.
Right now, I don't want to date because i want to work on myself mentally and physically. I'm currently in therapy and will continue to work on it with my therapist. I have held myself off for years when it came to dating and hopefully when i'm in a good place, i can go back. What feels good now that i lost weight is the airplane seat belt. I noticed that its not as tight as it used to be and i'm so damn proud of it. My back acne has also cleared up once i started exercising. My depression is not as bad as it used to be but there are still days where i don't want to workout or take showers. Fourthly, my feet no longer hurt as much as they used to be at 240 pounds. they still hurt from time to time but I'm happy! Another plus is fitting into old clothes. I'm kinda sad that I donated half of my closet from back of the day but at least i still have some. Its nice to fit in them again.
So whats next for me? Well, I'm finally taking a dance class that i always wanted to do but out of fear of my weight, I never took the leap. I want to stop drinking diet soda and also drink more water. I'm also thinking about doing crossfit. I did crossfit once at 240 pounds. It was a pain but now that I'm 60 pounds less, I want to start getting back into it.
All in all, i'm happy with my journey and i can't wait to show you guys my progress when i lose 115 pounds.
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