I’ll be very brief because I’m honestly hungry and should’ve broken my fast an hour ago. This is not my first post on this sub, but it’s definitely my most awaited.
I am 18 years old, female, and have lost 88 pounds in one year. It changed my life forever.
I was always the fat kid in school. From a young age, I ate nothing but crap food; fast food, junk food, soda, sweets, chocolate. Anything I wanted to eat, my mom would let me have it. And I could eat until I was almost sick, no restrictions. I emotionally ate because I had severe depression and anxiety even as a little girl due to family issues and emotional abuse that didn’t come out until I was about 16. I wasn’t overweight, I was obese. Very obese. I developed high blood pressure at age 11, but it went back down at age 13 for some reason and never returned, thankfully. I do not have diabetes, which I’m fortunate for.
I felt so ugly in my teen years. When I discovered that I’m gay and just want a relationship with another woman, I thought “no woman would want you. Look at her and look at you.” And I do realize now that’s a very unhealthy way to see it, and I’ve fixed that. Just because I was fat doesn’t mean I was unworthy of love. BUT it is true that my dating pool got a lot a smaller just by me being 230 pounds.
I was severely depressed and anxious. I felt like the entire world was staring at me every time I walked out in public. I wore pants at all times and couldn’t wear anything form fitting or “trendy” because it didn’t fit or it showed everything. I outcasted myself from other girls. I never had friends. I was trapped in a body I hated, but I realized, it didn’t have to be that way.
August 7th, 2018, I told myself “I’m better than this. I deserve to love myself.” I did change overnight. Changed my eating habits, started intermittent fasting, and exercising a little every single day. I’ll admit, there were unhealthy methods in the first few months, like 800 calories or less and exercising until I was dizzy. Around April, I started becoming healthier and finally got up to 1200 calories a day.
I cannot tell you how much better I feel today. I feel radiant, amazing, and healthy. I didn’t wanna die an early death because of heart disease or diabetes. I was sick of hating myself and my body. So I decided to change for the better, forever. Today I’m 142 pounds at 5’3. But let me tell you something.
It’s not easy. Some days I kinda want an entire bag of Cheetos. Some days I wanna quit working out and sit on my behind and watch Pose all day. But I think, I’ve worked so hard, I can’t give up. I’ve lost 88 pounds. And guess what? I went from a size 20 in pants to a size 10, and a tops size 20 to a 4 or 6. I get complimented and noticed by other girls as well (still working on that relationship thing, but that’s okay). I did it! I made it! I’m one pound shy of a normal BMI! I saw it through. I’m going to Canada in 2 days before my Alaskan cruise and I’m so excited!
One last thing before I get off here and eat my bagel; love yourself. This is the most important thing I’ve learned after losing the weight. Love yourself at your best and especially at your worst, when you need it most. Look in the mirror, and even if you don’t really like what you see, tell yourself that you deserve happiness. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You are worthy. If you’ve hit a bad plateau and that scale isn’t moving, be patient, breathe, and love yourself for who you are right now. If you go over by a few hundred calories, love yourself enough not to starve yourself the next day. Just get back on track. And remove yourself from toxic people and situations. There will always be people who don’t support you, so you need to love yourself enough to say “I’m better than this. I deserve better.”
Self-love and self-respect starts with yourself. Please don’t wait. You’ve got this.
Transformation pic: https://i.imgur.com/mSYsnV2.jpg
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